denali Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 okay, i know this is wrong, the way my boyfriend and i got together was by us cheating on our partners with each other. we met at work and fell madly in love and within 8 weeks, we had broken off our relationships and were together. now, i'm finding that i'm SOOOO paranoid about the smallest things. in the back on my mind, i'm thinking...this will never work, i can' trust him, but i love him to DEATH. i honestly feel like he's my soul-mate. i'm so nosey and i'm always checking up on his stories, i go through his phone, his computer (i'm on it right now) : ) he wants me to "lighten up" and trust him. says he's never going to screw this up. here's my biggest issue, a few weeks ago, i went and checked the 'history' on his PC. i found lots and lots of porn. he denied it til he was blue in the face. said i didn't know what i was talking about. he still denies it, but i'm still checking and he's still looking, only when i'm not here... what is he looking for? why am i not good enough? i mean, i'm not trying to brag, but i'm really attractive... what's the problem? i'm starting to resent him and hold grudges... mainly cause he lies about it, but i'm causing problems... he can tell i'm pulling away. what should i do? let it go? and accept the he is going to look at porn and lie about it or what? help. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 denali, Read some of the other posts about porn. I don't think anyone here can come up with any new advice. Most of the stories seem the same (not to make it out like your story isn't important, just that a lot of women are having these kinds of issues). -Deranged (p.s. It has been my experience that any guy that will leave someone else to be with you, will leave you to be with someone else) Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 We really should have a "Why men lie about porn, and what women do to drive them that far" FAQ. *Runs from Topic* Link to post Share on other sites
rightaboutnow Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 You need some self-esteem. Looking At porn doesn't exactly mean that he desires something more than he has with you. Men think about sex a lot more than women. I used to watch one here and there is My wife was out of town or if we weren't haven't much sex because she was on her period or whatever. But it never meant that I wanted a porno star and I wasn't cheating on her and I didn't have tons of porn, Just one movie, secretly hid in my closet. If you're constantly checking up On him and going thru his stuff, you're being very dishonest. That's HIS personal stuff. You seem like you have really low sel-esteem. You're so scared that he's going to leave you. What are you looking to find? Once you find it, what are you going to do then? I think it sucks that you go thru his personal stuff just Because. If he was acting shady, then you'd have reason to speculate things. But stop being so nosey and chill out. He's gonna end up getting sick of you nagging and being nosey all the time, he's going to think you're psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
Sex Addict Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Originally posted by rightaboutnow But it never meant that I wanted a porno star and I wasn't cheating on her and I didn't have tons of porn, Just one movie, secretly hid in my closet. If it's okay, why was the movie hidden in your closet? How did your wife feel about you watching pornography? If you're constantly checking up On him and going thru his stuff, you're being very dishonest. That's HIS personal stuff. Well, now, that is true. Unless, of course, she has a reason to go through his stuff. You know, like he's been lying to her about watching pornography. I think it sucks that you go thru his personal stuff just Because. If he was acting shady, then you'd have reason to speculate things. But stop being so nosey and chill out. He's gonna end up getting sick of you nagging and being nosey all the time, he's going to think you're psycho. Well, now, he may just do that. OTH, he might have a problem with pornography. Or, she might. And, living in a fantasy-porn world isn't really doing much for the relationship, is it? There's a popular misconception that pornography is "okay". Maybe it is, for some people, but it's not okay for everyone. If you think about it, it's really just a form of prostitution. That's what selling sex, even pictures of it, for money is: prostituition. Maybe that's okay with you, but it's not okay with everyone. That's the question she has to ask herself. Is that okay with her? If not, she has some hard decisions to make. And so does he. I know because my addiction to pornography almost ruined my marriage and life. But, I found a program that helps: Sex Addicts Anonymous, you can find them at http://www.sexaa.org Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 When I first met my ex, everything was perfect. Absolutely PERFECT. I was completely happy and enamoured with her, and vice versa. We'd have sex like two or three times a DAY, sometimes more. And yet, when she wasn't around, I still watched porn and yanked a few out quite often. Why? Plain and simple, I'm horny, I like visual stimuli and there's not always someone there to have sex with, so I take care of it myself. There's nothing hidden about it, there are no ulterior motives, there was no "I'm not satisfied!" angle, or ANYTHING like that. More than likely, that's the case in EVERY SINGLE CASE OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pretteangel Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I don't understand what is wrong with a man looking at porn? My goodness let the man be a man. A man likes looking at porn! I would lie to knowing my gf would have a fit over it! Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 men will never understand they are too busy beign horney to understand or care how it makes us feel when they watch porn, i swear we girls should just start looking at attractive men as well and watch porn with guys who have bigger dicks then the average dick, because obviously girls in porn have bigger asses and tits cos its all FAKE...well then i guess we should compare them to the FAKE too....they will feel like a itty bitty afterwards... Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 Well...that might be so...but personally, I don't care for bigger asses or bigger jugs. I like petite more. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 Originally posted by calithin83 men will never understand they are too busy beign horney to understand or care how it makes us feel when they watch porn, i swear we girls should just start looking at attractive men as well and watch porn with guys who have bigger dicks then the average dick, because obviously girls in porn have bigger asses and tits cos its all FAKE...well then i guess we should compare them to the FAKE too....they will feel like a itty bitty afterwards... We understand, we just know you're neurotic. I don't mean to be rude, but I'd never be in a relationship with you. You think like a child, the "wah, I'm not getting my way, why won't they understand!?!?!? we should MAKE them understand" Look, we get it, you're hurt. But we're not hurting you. We're just touching ourselves, we've done it since we were like eleven, there's no way you're going to stop it. One day, we'll be 80, and we'll slow down. WE WOULD NOT CARE IF YOU STARTED LOOKING AT PORN. If you wanted to enjoy guys with bigger dicks, we'd still know we had one up on them, seeing as how we're actually capable of penetrating you, unlike the movies. You don't speak for all women either, I hope you're a minority. Link to post Share on other sites
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