Cinderella7 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Is the third date the girl's responsibility? The Fifth date? Should she never initiate until they're in a relationship? I met someone I'm interested in and we went on our first date last night. I'm pretty confident there will be a second date that he will initiate. Now maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but when is it my turn to ask him to do something? I don't want to look like I'm chasing him, but I also don't want him to think I'm not interested because I don't ask him out either. I'm probably making a much bigger deal out of this than necessary, but I do really like this person and I don't want to mess it up. Basically, how long do you give a girl to initiate contact/a date before you assume she's not interested? Link to post Share on other sites
sullysteve Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I wouldn't worry about this too much. As long as the girl is accepting dates and we both have a great time, I don't mind being the one doing the initiating. Some women like being pursued. That being said, if you have a great second date, there's nothing wrong with you being the one to initiate a third date. Just don't come across as desperate and needy and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you really like the guy and you feel that he really likes you...DO ask him out on the 3rd date...ask him when he's free and tell him that you'd like to hang out with him...don't wait...try to push the relationship towards a 50/50 balance even if it's at some of your expense....this will lead to a healthier relationship later on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Paper Knight Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you feel the 1st date went well and he was not overly shy, then he should contact you within 2-4 days, if he wishes to continue dating with you. If this doent happen, then just send a text on day 4 saying 'hey had a great night the other night, would you like to catch up again sometime'. That should be enough to prompt him to act. I believe relationships need to be close to 50/50 in organising dates. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 A girl asking a guy out shows that she is really sure about herself and knows what she wants. It shows confidence and it displays a lot of interest. I think as long as I ask the girl on dates and she accepts, not reluctantly of course, then I am fine. However, I think it will be awesome if the girl asked me on the 3rd or 4th date. Link to post Share on other sites
Rulebreaker Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Rules say no asking him out until you're exclusive/in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm pushy, so I don't think there's anything wrong with the woman asking a guy out even on the first date! Although men usually prefer it if I let them ask me out (usually after I've hinted a bit and persuaded him it was his idea to ask me out) If I want to see a guy again, I'll call him and say I had a great time, thanks for taking me wherever, and if he wants to do it again some time that would be nice... I'm not too busy this weekend or next so if he wants to give me a call then he has my number. So he knows I'm open to another date, but the ball is in his court and he gets to do the actual asking out (or the ignoring if he doesn't want to see me again). I'd much prefer if I could just ask him on another date, but men don't seem to like that much; they like to retain control. So I subtly manipulate him into asking me out again Men are much more likely to ask you out if they're sure you'll say yes. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 There is no strict time frame you need to worry about. When you feel comfortable doing so is the best. If you really like this person and are worried about messing it up, just make sure not to play any games or by any set of rules. Remember tat dating is suppose to be fun. There are subtle ways to let him know your interested in him so he isn't having to guess, also people tend to become more interested in another person when they see that it's mutual. IMO the quickest way to ruin the potential for a relationship is to start adhering to dating rules. Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 "When should a girl ask a guy out?" When she's interested in him, duh. Link to post Share on other sites
St. Nick Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 "When should a girl ask a guy out?" When she's interested in him, duh. Thank you. I'd love women to take more initiative and start asking guys out if they like then, rather than waiting to be asked and then getting angry if she doesn't get asked. Take some responsibility for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Yep, girls can ask guys out whenever. If she is interested, go for it. Although, in saying that, a lot of girls would never ask guys out and would wait until guys ask them out. If you want the best chance of getting the person you want, I think you should take the initiate and just ask ahead. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you are a pretty girl, trust me, you will make a guy's day if you ask him out. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Yep, girls can ask guys out whenever. If she is interested, go for it. Although, in saying that, a lot of girls would never ask guys out and would wait until guys ask them out. If you want the best chance of getting the person you want, I think you should take the initiate and just ask ahead. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you are a pretty girl, trust me, you will make a guy's day if you ask him out. doesn't always have to be a pretty girl, there are a lot of average looking guys out there too. Link to post Share on other sites
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