What's wrong with being childfree??

[hersmudders]

There's nothing wrong with not wanting/having kids at all.

 

It's the people who think there's something wrong with it who have the problem. ^_^

 

As are the childfree people who think they're in their right to act like killing babies (not abortion, but actual already born babies) is funny to the point where they talk about anyone who's pregnant as if they're the world's biggest idiot. I was a member of a close-knit CF group online for a while but left b/c they're all so negative. It's like if you get excited that someone you know is pregnant (b/c btw being CF doesn't mean I hate children), then you're out of their cool club.

 

I've yet to find an even balance of people who just accept your decisions and live and let live from both sides. Extremist CF people are just as bad as anti-abortion activists, in my opinion. Haha

[Leia]

I don't know how I feel about having kids until I was told by my Gynae that I might have problems getting pregnant. I was so sad and almost felt like it was the end of the world. Last Sat, I had a follow up and was told that it is possible to have kids. If anything crops up, my Gynae will help me in any way to have one. I was so happy to hear that and God willing, when the time is right, I would love to have kids.

 

What I heard from my friends that do not want kids ... their excuses are pretty lame and selfish.

[hersmudders]

B

I don't know how I feel about having kids until I was told by my Gynae that I might have problems getting pregnant. I was so sad and almost felt like it was the end of the world. Last Sat, I had a follow up and was told that it is possible to have kids. If anything crops up, my Gynae will help me in any way to have one. I was so happy to hear that and God willing, when the time is right, I would love to have kids.

 

What I heard from my friends that do not want kids ... their excuses are pretty lame and selfish.

 

better to be selfish and know it before having kids than it is to bring an innocent child into the world and realize you're too selfish to be a parent. It could also be said that the reasons people have kids are very selfish as well. Stop judging and let them be.

[Leia]

B

 

better to be selfish and know it before having kids than it is to bring an innocent child into the world and realize you're too selfish to be a parent. It could also be said that the reasons people have kids are very selfish as well. Stop judging and let them be.

 

Who's judging those who do not want kids?

[hersmudders]

Who's judging those who do not want kids?

 

You called your friends' reasons lame and selfish. Last time I checked, those were judgmental words.

[Leia]

You called your friends' reasons lame and selfish. Last time I checked, those were judgmental words.

 

Oh well, sorry you feel that way about me and frankly, I don't care

[Meaplus3]

You ask what is wrong with beign child free? Nothing! Having children is a very personal choice. If you and your SO are happy with just the two of you, then there is nothing at all wrong with that. Do you feel pressured in some way to have children?

 

Mea:)

[bluewolf17]

I don't know how I feel about having kids until I was told by my Gynae that I might have problems getting pregnant. I was so sad and almost felt like it was the end of the world. Last Sat, I had a follow up and was told that it is possible to have kids. If anything crops up, my Gynae will help me in any way to have one. I was so happy to hear that and God willing, when the time is right, I would love to have kids.

 

What I heard from my friends that do not want kids ... their excuses are pretty lame and selfish.

 

 

I agree with what another poster said. Reasons for having children can easily be defined as selfish as well. I guess the bigger question is..is it bad to be selfish? What is selfish/self interest? We always think of being selfish as a bad thing, but is it? The reason I used Leia's quote is because she used the term "selfish" to define her friends choices for being child free. And maybe they are, I don't know them:cool:.

 

I guess my point is here, choosing to be child free may not have anything to do with being selfish. And having children may not have anything to do with being unselfish.

[LDR]

I guess my point is here, choosing to be child free may not have anything to do with being selfish. And having children may not have anything to do with being unselfish.

 

Definitely agree. I have heard some people say that they decided to have children so that they could have someone take care of them when they are old. . . if that is not considered selfish, then I don't know what is

[Trimmer]

I agree with what another poster said. Reasons for having children can easily be defined as selfish as well. I guess the bigger question is..is it bad to be selfish? What is selfish/self interest? We always think of being selfish as a bad thing, but is it? The reason I used Leia's quote is because she used the term "selfish" to define her friends choices for being child free. And maybe they are, I don't know them:cool:.

 

I guess my point is here, choosing to be child free may not have anything to do with being selfish. And having children may not have anything to do with being unselfish.

Agreed - the term "selfish" gets thrown around disingenuously from both "sides" (why do there even have to be sides?)

 

Be honest: almost everything we do is fundamentally "selfish" - we always evaluate how it will affect "self", and usually use that criterion as a primary one - in deciding things.

 

Attaching the term "selfish" in a derogatory way to people who choose not to have kids carries with it an implicit assumption that having kids is some kind of an obligation or mandate that the "selfish" CF person is skirting. While I would agree that for many people having children is a drive, a desire - a "selfish" endeavor in some cases - I don't see it as an obligation.

 

Also, I think that for parents to look at CF people and cast them as "selfish" sounds a little self-serving - their opinion is "selfish", so by contrast, my opinion is "unselfish" - oh what an unselfish, giving, martyr I am...

 

Now to be fair: different cultures see this in different ways, so I recognize that this will be culturally dependent. But given that the state of our earth and its current trajectory are heavily burdened by issues of population in competition for resources, I'm not sure how the "obligation to have kids" argument holds up as anything but a biological drive, or a cultural leftover.

 

I think, in that context, it's at least as "selfish" to have a family with lots of kids...

 

(Fair disclosure: I'm a parent of 2 kids - we made a conscious decision to do no more than "replace ourselves" and then stop. And yes, it is/was a selfish decision; I won't claim otherwise.)

[bluewolf17]

Trimmer,

 

THANK YOU! You said what I was too lazy to say, much better than I could.

 

There really is no reasons for sides. Some people of BOTH ends just have bad manners

[Ross PK]

As are the childfree people who think they're in their right to act like killing babies (not abortion, but actual already born babies) is funny to the point where they talk about anyone who's pregnant as if they're the world's biggest idiot. I was a member of a close-knit CF group online for a while but left b/c they're all so negative. It's like if you get excited that someone you know is pregnant (b/c btw being CF doesn't mean I hate children), then you're out of their cool club.

 

I've yet to find an even balance of people who just accept your decisions and live and let live from both sides. Extremist CF people are just as bad as anti-abortion activists, in my opinion. Haha

 

Yup, that's bad too. I never knew there was such a thing as child free extremists.

[Ross PK]

I don't know how I feel about having kids until I was told by my Gynae that I might have problems getting pregnant. I was so sad and almost felt like it was the end of the world. Last Sat, I had a follow up and was told that it is possible to have kids. If anything crops up, my Gynae will help me in any way to have one. I was so happy to hear that and God willing, when the time is right, I would love to have kids.

 

What I heard from my friends that do not want kids ... their excuses are pretty lame and selfish.

 

What makes you see what they say as excuses instead of actual reasons?

[Ross PK]

I agree with what another poster said. Reasons for having children can easily be defined as selfish as well. I guess the bigger question is..is it bad to be selfish? What is selfish/self interest? We always think of being selfish as a bad thing, but is it? The reason I used Leia's quote is because she used the term "selfish" to define her friends choices for being child free. And maybe they are, I don't know them:cool:.

 

I guess my point is here, choosing to be child free may not have anything to do with being selfish. And having children may not have anything to do with being unselfish.

 

Exactly. Selfish to me is a negative word.

 

If someone doesn't want kinds because they're thinking of their own interests, ie, they're not interested, they don't want the responsibility, blah, blah, blah, then there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't make them a bad person.

 

If on the other hand you didn't want to help out an old lady who fell over and couldn't get up because you wanted to get home quick and didn't want to miss the first few minutes of a TV show, then that's selfish, because it shows you must of not given a **** about the old woman.

[threebyfate]

BlackLovely, while I don't agree with many of your reasons not to have children, there's nothing wrong with not wanting them. If anything, people who have lists of why they shouldn't have children, just, plain, shouldn't have children.

 

IMO, children are a gift to be loved and treasured but given age appropriate hard boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

[BlackLovely]

You mean you all are still on this subject? I'd forgotten I even asked until I clicked my name and looked at my threads and posts.

Glad to see that Loveshack has some reasonable parents on it. I don't take an issue with people wanting children. At the end of the day, people just want to be happy. I support people being happy as long as they are not hurting anyone.

I get called "selfish" all the time for not wanting kids. It makes me laugh, because I am completely fine with my alleged self interest.

My background is Jamaican and in my parents culture, a woman is supposed to have babies and keep house. A man is supposed to make as many babies as possible with many different women. Jamaican men rarely marry and even if they do, they are almost NEVER FAITHFUL. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I am viewed as an abnormal space alien because A) My fiance is white. B) I don't want kids. Oh well, too bad for everyone.

[hersmudders]

You mean you all are still on this subject? I'd forgotten I even asked until I clicked my name and looked at my threads and posts.

Glad to see that Loveshack has some reasonable parents on it. I don't take an issue with people wanting children. At the end of the day, people just want to be happy. I support people being happy as long as they are not hurting anyone.

I get called "selfish" all the time for not wanting kids. It makes me laugh, because I am completely fine with my alleged self interest.

My background is Jamaican and in my parents culture, a woman is supposed to have babies and keep house. A man is supposed to make as many babies as possible with many different women. Jamaican men rarely marry and even if they do, they are almost NEVER FAITHFUL. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I am viewed as an abnormal space alien because A) My fiance is white. B) I don't want kids. Oh well, too bad for everyone.

 

It makes for good discussion! That's why we're still on it

 

I actually referred someone on another forum I frequent to this thread b/c she raised a similar question about not having kids and she was glad to have read it. You're helping like-minded people out

[Stung]

I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT. I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

 

I don't know why some people think it's selfish of others not to procreate, nor why they seem to feel it's okay to say that out loud . I mean, come on, judging all over people's reproductive choices is flat out rude. Anyway, isn't it just as easy to make an argument that anyone who does breed is selfish, considering our planet's overpopulation problem?

 

Personally, I looooove my son and am grateful for him every day, but I was ambivalent about whether I wanted children of my own until I was in my early 30s and I still completely sympathize with anyone who decides they have different priorities. It IS hard to transition into motherhood, you DO lose a lot of freedom. And while the physical changes I went through were worth it, I had a high-risk pregnancy and am still a little hormonally off-kilter from the whole thing. Although for the record, BlackLovely, sex is still very hot and happening between my husband and I, and I had a C-section, so...still snug as a bug in a rug!

[troggleputty]

I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

 

If you're unsure about a decision like this then you're probably making the wrong decision and are seeking the external validation for something that you don't really believe.

 

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

 

Hmmmm....does this mean: 1) You decided you don't want children, individually, and your fiance also conincidentally feels the same way; or 2) you mutually decided not to have children with each other, but perhaps if you were with a different partner, your attitude might change? or 3) did your fiance talk you into not wanting to have children?

 

Listen--he's your fiancee, not your husband. Do you even have a wedding date set? Why are you making definitive decisions about child bearing when you're not even married yet? Obviously you need to know what you might want or not want IF you get married. But ONCE you get married you might feel COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY about things.

 

By the way what are HIS reasons for not wanting children? And do these reasons have anything to do with your decision? How so?

 

Finally, 27 is still on the cusp of the "biological clock." Many many women your age don't want children...but then over the next 3-4 years there's a complete change in attitude. That's the biological clock. It's natural, and you need to be ready for it.

 

 

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT.

 

No, eating too much and not getting enough exercise is what makes you fat. Or keeps you fat. This is not a real reason not to have a child; it IS a reason to lead a healthier lifestyle, whether or not you decide to have children.

 

 

I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

 

Stop eating so much and see what happens. Get some more exercise and see what happens.

 

 

 

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

 

This sounds like something your "fiance" might have come up with, not you.

 

I suspect that you probably WOULD at least entertain the possibility of having a kid but your "fiance" is totally against it, and you are so afraid of losing him (with your obviously horrible self-esteem issues concerning your body image) that you will deny your own maternal instincts in order to appease him and keep from "losing" him.

 

 

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

 

Epidural. Percocet.

 

 

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

 

Yes because those kids were not YOUR kids. Other peoples' kids are a pain; your OWN children will be wonderful. To you, anyway.

 

 

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

 

Those of us who chose to be parents are even more selfish, we have something better than all the money in the world. If you were really as selfish as you think you are, you would have children which are better than money. Far better.

 

Again it really sounds like you are trying to convince yourself not to have children. But you really want them.

 

This will all blow up in the next two to three years anyway when your irresistible biological clock compels you to want to get pregnant. It's out of your control to a large extent.

 

 

 

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

 

So what? As I suspected you are not that confident in your relationship with your "fiance." A good man will not begrudge you the joy of having children and will understand the kids will be taking up a lot of your attention. (You can't totally ignore the guy however.)

 

 

 

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

 

If you were truly that concerned about your "romantic time" with your "man" you would try and lose some of that excess blubber you're carrying around, regardless of whether you get pregnant or not.

 

Or don't you think your "fiance" would be more sexually turned on by you if you were in better shape?

 

 

 

 

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was.

 

Well then cut off contact with your abusive mom, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have children. Where's the logic there?

 

 

She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

 

Wow you really do have horrible self-esteem issues, don't you see that? You've designated yourself a likely child abuser, because of your childhood. How unfair to your own self you are.

 

I think you need to have some serious therapy before you are even in a position to decide whether or not to have children, your reasons for not having them are all wrong and messed up.

 

 

 

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

 

I'm not sure what it is about the way you express yourself that make some people angry. However I can tell you that you have not provided a single "good" reason not to have children, at least not here. All your supposed "reasons" are actually phantoms, ghosts, fears.

[Tropic]

Listen--he's your fiancee, not your husband. Do you even have a wedding date set? Why are you making definitive decisions about child bearing when you're not even married yet? Obviously you need to know what you might want or not want IF you get married. But ONCE you get married you might feel COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY about things.

 

I do not agree with this. I think it is very important to discuss that, specially with the fiancee, before getting married. Why would you marry someone and then find out he/she does not want kids while you want? That is a deal breaker for a lot of people.

 

I never wanted children and I have discussed it with all my boyfriends. No use in being with someone long term who has different goals, as having/not having kids is a difficult thing to compromise with.

[sedgwick]

I agree with Tropic! My ex's first wife thought she'd change his mind once they got married, and it was one of the things that broke them up. She refused to believe him when he said he didn't want kids.

 

I don't want them either, never have. I'm 38 now, almost 39, and I've never had the slightest twinge of desire to be a mother. I didn't like kids when I was one, why would I want them around now?

 

Seriously, though, the other day I was in a taxi and the driver asked me if I had children. I said no. He said, "Do you have a husband?" I said nope, didn't have one of those either. He actually ended the cab ride by telling me to find myself a nice man and have babies!! It's like, sure, Mr. Cab Driver, I'll do that JUST FOR YOU. Why do people feel the need to say that sort of thing? My parents have already accepted that my cats and my brother's dog are the only grandchildren they're going to get!

 

Oh, and THIS:

 

If you were truly that concerned about your "romantic time" with your "man" you would try and lose some of that excess blubber you're carrying around,

 

is the most reprehensible bullsh*t I've ever read on LS.

Edited February 26, 2010 by sedgwick

[fooled once]

I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT. I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

 

There is nothing wrong with not wanting children, but many of the things you described above are crap. I actually laughed out loud at a few. Who told you these things?

 

Are you sure it isn't for your fiance? What if he changes his mind? what if YOU change your mind? Some women have been known to get pregnant to keep a man (not saying that you would do that) but it isn't unheard of.

 

If you don't want to have children for YOU -- then that's fine. Just make sure you have all the true facts. One HUGE true fact - at least for me and all the mom's I know - there is nothing more beautiful, more powerful, more to the depths of the heart than the love of a child and the love from a child. I am so glad I didn't miss out on the experience.

[stillafool]

I said no. He said, "Do you have a husband?" I said nope, didn't have one of those either. He actually ended the cab ride by telling me to find myself a nice man and have babies!! It's like, sure, Mr. Cab Driver, I'll do that JUST FOR YOU. Why do people feel the need to say that sort of thing? My parents have already accepted that my cats and my brother's dog are the only grandchildren they're going to get!

 

Oh, and THIS:

 

 

 

is the most reprehensible bullsh*t I've ever read on LS.

 

 

I really don't understand why people say stupid things like this to others. It is none of their business what you chose to do. Why does everyone think that people should be like and think like them? People have told me I would change my mind about having kids and guess what? I'm older than you and I have never once changed my mind.

 

I have always been on the thin side and women have called me a "skinny b-tch" to my face and thinking somehow that that shouldn't upset me. It is the same as me calling someone on the heavier side a "fat b-tch" and expecting them to not feel hurt. Why don't people keep their stupid mouths shut? I would never say to a mother with a screaming baby, "what on earth made you want to have children"? Or, say to a woman who wants kids "oh, you'll change your mind and wish you hadn't made that choice later on."

[chrissylee]

I never want kids either. I find it to be very rude for people to tell me that I will change my mind one day. I have very good reasons for not wanting children and my reasons are still going to be there in 10 years.

 

I just really wish the people who want children could understand that not everyone loves babies and wants to have some of their own.

[sb129]

I wanted to ask the parents on Loveshack to shed some light on this issue.

My fiance and I have decided that we don't want children. I am 27 and he is 35. These are my reasons:

I'm not interested in being pregnant because I am already chubby

(5'4 and a size 12); a baby would make me FAT. I have health issues that cause weight problems and difficulty losing and keeping weight off.

Not to be vulgar, but mothers are never as *ahem* tight in a certain spot as they were before kids.

I also don't believe I could handle the pain of birth. Why in the world would I want to go through that?

I was a nanny in the past and I also looked after a lot of little cousins. I find children's constant crying and neediness very maddening.

Having a child is very expensive. I see many parents having to spend thousands of dollars on their children, to give them a good life. Call me selfish, but I want my partner and I to have money for ourselves.

Children disrupt the parent's relationship. I've observed a lot of men getting jealous of all the attention the new baby is getting.

I have also noticed that when a woman becomes a mother, she is often no longer interested in sex. I don't want children interrupting romantic time with my man.

I grew up with an unhappy, abusive mother. She used to savagely beat me for the slightest mistakes and she never missed an opportunity to tell me how stupid and ugly I was. She also told me which children she preferred (Hint: not me.) I was a decent child who did well in school, did my chores and didn't get pregnant at a young age. She didn't apppreciate me until I left home. Most people give their children whatever they received as a child, good or bad. I am concerned that I may abuse my own children, because I was abused.

Don't misunderstand me, parents. I do not begrudge people's choices. I have nothing against people who choose to have children. It's just not for me or for us. I find that people, especially women, get very angry or condescending when I say I don't want children. Why??? What's wrong with being childfree?

Nothing.

 

Nothing at all.

 

I completely understand your concerns, and before I had my daughter I was concerned about some of them myself, however luckily I discovered that my concerns were unfounded which is good because unlike you I did want children.

 

I was really lucky and had a 10lb baby girl naturally with no pain relief after a 5 hour labour and I am pleased to report that I am nearly back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and have no problems in the bedroom department.

 

 

I agree that this is all the reason you need. Don't let anyone back you into a corner and make you explain your reasons.

 

However, that doesn't even matter - I'm not one of those who would try to convince you otherwise. Having kids is for people who are sure about it. If you've decided that kids aren't for you, and you've found a life-partner who feels the same way, then you're doing it right, and I support your choice. I am truly happy for you, and I wish you the best!

 

Absolutely agree with this and with all of what JamesM said.

I shared my experience with you as an example of how things can go rather than to change your mind.

 

How in the world are you telling ME what MY decisions are related to?? People have different reasons to be childfree. Is this not my choice? I do not feel the need to defend my reasons and quite frankly, I don't care what you think of my thought processes. The bottom line is, I don't want any children.

 

Ok, cool. But you did ask for opinions.

 

Blacklovely : nothing wrong with being child-free (I made the same choice), and nothing wrong with being a parent. Not to mention you are also free to change your mind at any time.

** Wanted children are great for all involved - unwanted children are a disaster for all involved, just make sure you use effective contraception.

 

Agreed also.

 

Trimmer,

There really is no reasons for sides. Some people of BOTH ends just have bad manners

 

Yeah- I don't get why some people get so sparked up about what is such a personal choice. Each to their own.

 

OP- sounds like you have been conditioned as a result of your culture to believe that having children is the be all and end all and is your reason for existing, so its no wonder you have some internal conflict going on there.

 

I don't judge you for not wanting children, its not for everyone, thats for sure.

And its much easier to change your mind in your position than it is once you are a parent!!!