sean1 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Thanks for the responses folks! I know that NC is the way forwards but i just want her to know how much she has hurt me...i want her to feel some of the pain im feeling. Im lying here and my heart is racing at 100 mph, im getting hot, frustrated, angry, sad all at the same time. I cant get the thought of her with another man out of my head...i think im going mad! mazda if you not read the 5 steps to controlling your emotions that i found then nows the time to read! STEP 1: Feel whatever it is you are feeling and notice how and where you feel it. For example many people feel emotional hurt in their chest or heart (that is why it is called heart break). But, that may or may not be true for you. Now just focus on your feeling and ask yourself silently or aloud the following: Can I allow this feeling? And then answer. It doesn’t matter if it is a Yes or No. STEP 2: Ask "Could I let this feeling go?" Again, a Yes or No is acceptable. STEP 3 Ask "Would I let this feeling go?" STEP 4 Ask "When?" STEP 5 Now examine the feeling again. Does it feel different? Did you feel a shift? The shift is different for everyone, but is a sign of small healing. You want to feel how your feeling has changed and repeat steps 1 thru 5. this actually works with time! it calms you down and keeps you sane! well it did for me anyways! mazda a few words you should really take in... It doesn't matter what you are thinking or what fear you have, if you just do it. Action is the only thing that matters…. I can see that at the end of my life, I'm going to look back and say, 'Gosh, I wish I had taken more action! I believe a little bit of success lies in everyone! Will you be the one to deny that? Or rather be the one who chooses to be guided by it? You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy! Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing. Mazda im not saying a positive attitude may solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. look after yourself now! you do deserve better and you know its out there! somone out there wants you for you mazda. Good luck! stay online and talk to peeps it really helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Limbo21, your right.....i need to stay out of her life...its a head messer to think that she is playing games with me.....especially as i dont think she is that type of woman! Shes reeled me in again...given herself an ego boost. for all i know she might not have slept with someone else...she might just want me to think that she has...i dont know! Its gonna be a long tough year i fear! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mazda Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 sean1, cheers for your words mate....i know they are true. I think i need a couple of days of burrying my head in the sand before i can take the actions i need to take. Link to post Share on other sites
sean1 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 you really do have to let everything out! i cried for like 16 hours straight! and then patches afterward. but it starts the healing! crying is your own way of letting go! you will go through 5 stages 1.Pain 2.Denial 3.Anger 4.Grief 5.Acceptance it will be an emotional rollercoaster my friend! follow the 5 steps i posted above to control them though! Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 hey man, first off dont regret what you did. you felt it was right at the time. 2nd of all, that totally SUCKS!!! but im sure you know that. basically im writing right now so u can have 15 seconds where you dont think of her but of how kick ass you will be in the future. you will be back, you will get over this, she wasnt that great, it will hurt and it will hurt for a long ****ing time. i right there with you on the september tip. go now! live your life... Link to post Share on other sites
sean1 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 go now! live your life... forget what every post says. its summed up right there in 5 words! FOLLOW THAT ADVICE! Link to post Share on other sites
BootsElectric Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 hey man, first off dont regret what you did. you felt it was right at the time. 2nd of all, that totally SUCKS!!! but im sure you know that. basically im writing right now so u can have 15 seconds where you dont think of her but of how kick ass you will be in the future. you will be back, you will get over this, she wasnt that great, it will hurt and it will hurt for a long ****ing time. i right there with you on the september tip. go now! live your life... I need to turn this into a post to hang above my bed. Link to post Share on other sites
name witheld Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 this should be stickied, if possible. Shows the thinking before a meet, the response from ex and then the regret afterwards. Typical example and may warn others off. Mind you it does nothing to satisfy the curiosity/questions in their heads.... Link to post Share on other sites
aimchase Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Mazda, Take some comfort in this - i'm going through exactly the same thing. Split from wife in summer, plenty of silly attempts at trying to persuade her of her mistakes, she then ended up meeting someone else in October although she still won't admit it's an intimate relationship (she says they're great friends). For months I hung around, then last month she asks to meet me. She speaks of possibly reconciling. We spent a few occasions together, then she went distant again and asked for friendship. I handled it all wrong and i've only just noticed. Like you, I also have felt like i've gone back five months, but the advice on here is amazing and it's truly giving me a real strength. I'm now going to do the '180' (read it up if you don't know it), and that will help me move on but also discover if there's really any possibility of things working in the future. I have to say though, I hope to move on to a point where I don't want her back. I've had exactly the same sort of text exchanges as you. One thing i've now learnt (only in the past week or so since coming on here), it does nothing but distances the ex further and makes you out to be some desperate soul. Get a ticket, and do the journey with me, my friend. Keep me updated how it goes, as I can to you. Best of luck Aim Link to post Share on other sites
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