Where the term 'gaslighting' comes from

[Angel1111]

I never understood the term 'gaslighting' before, but I was just reading something that explained it. It is apparently a reference to an old movie where a man causes his wife to question her sanity by telling her strange lies and manipulating the level of gaslight in the house so that she keeps seeing lights dim for no reason.

 

I had no idea. Now it makes sense. I wonder what movie that was. It sounds a little creepy.

Edited February 11, 2010 by Angel1111

[Angel1111]

Oh, I just found it.

 

It's a 1944 movie called 'Gaslight' (shoulda known).

[Confused4Now]

Oh, I just found it.

 

It's a 1944 movie called 'Gaslight' (shoulda known).

Yeah...a definite form of abuse...luckily the only person who's done that to me was my ex wife.

[freestyle]

I never heard the term before I came to LS, either.It's truly an insidious

method of creating a smokescreen to cover up one's wrongdoings. Convince the other person that there's something wrong with their perceptions, and grasp of reality,that their suspicions are way off in left field, leaving them to second-guess themselves.

 

And convince others that the target is mentally unstable, thereby damaging or destroying their credibility socially.......as other people begin to tiptoe around the "crazy' person, that further erodes the target's confidence in their own sanity.(if everyone's treating me like I'm crazy, ....then maybe there is something wrong with me??.....)

 

(also known as abuse by proxy.....)

 

It's cruel beyond measure.

http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f9.t5318

here's another article:

[carhill]

Yeah, I had to explain that to our MC. He asked what I meant by 'manipulating by gaslight' I guess he thought someone had farted

[Angel1111]

Has anyone seen the movie?

 

1944. Ugh. Not sure I could watch it. Those moldy oldies usually get on my nerves.

[freestyle]

Has anyone seen the movie?

 

1944. Ugh. Not sure I could watch it. Those moldy oldies usually get on my nerves.

 

 

According to one of the posts on the link I posted, it can be watched on YouTube, albeit piecemeal.

 

I'm kinda curious, myself. Sometimes those old movies can be very intense,and interesting from a psychological perspective.If I watch it I'll let you know.

[Angel1111]

According to one of the posts on the link I posted, it can be watched on YouTube, albeit piecemeal.

 

I'm kinda curious, myself. Sometimes those old movies can be very intense,and interesting from a psychological perspective.If I watch it I'll let you know.

 

Ok! That's really cool. Thanks for letting me know. I might check it out myself.

[jwi71]

Has anyone seen the movie?

 

1944. Ugh. Not sure I could watch it. Those moldy oldies usually get on my nerves.

 

I did. Curiosity got the better of me....I got it off Netflix a while back.

 

And its brutal to watch...recommended on its own merits (good story).

[jennie-jennie]

Has anyone seen the movie?

 

1944. Ugh. Not sure I could watch it. Those moldy oldies usually get on my nerves.

 

I saw it decades ago. It is one of those movies you NEVER forget. Creepy.

[OnlyJake]

I never understood the term 'gaslighting' before, but I was just reading something that explained it. It is apparently a reference to an old movie where a man causes his wife to question her sanity by telling her strange lies and manipulating the level of gaslight in the house so that she keeps seeing lights dim for no reason.

 

I had no idea. Now it makes sense. I wonder what movie that was. It sounds a little creepy.

 

The movie is "Gaslight", from the 40s or early 50s I think...it's in b&w.

 

Personally I loved it, but I really like old movies. Everyone else I know who saw it thought it was disappointing.

[SuburbanOblivion]

My ex used to do this, and what's worse is people actually bought his bullsh*t.

 

There is a special place in hell for people like that.

[jennie-jennie]

The movie is "Gaslight", from the 40s or early 50s I think...it's in b&w.

 

Personally I loved it, but I really like old movies. Everyone else I know who saw it thought it was disappointing.

 

Really?!! Unbelievable! Must be a generation gap!

[OnlyJake]

[/b]

 

Really?!! Unbelievable! Must be a generation gap!

Well, I'm 26, and I only know a few people who have seen it, and they're all around my age...they just don't appreciate amazing movies the way I do

 

I personally find a lot of those older movies much more tense and suspenseful (they have such atmosphere!!) than most movies today...A psychological thriller in the 40s, 50s, even the 60s sometimes was much more thrilling than they are today...IMO

[PhoenixRise]

The movie is absolutely great.

 

The lead actress, Ingrid Bergman did a fabulous portrayal of a woman slowly transforming from a confident young woman who thinks she is in love with the man of her dreams, into someone so lost she is doubting her own sanity.

 

AND the end, when she realizes what he is doing......whooooooo!!

[jennie-jennie]

Well, I'm 26, and I only know a few people who have seen it, and they're all around my age...they just don't appreciate amazing movies the way I do

 

I personally find a lot of those older movies much more tense and suspenseful (they have such atmosphere!!) than most movies today...A psychological thriller in the 40s, 50s, even the 60s sometimes was much more thrilling than they are today...IMO

 

You got good taste! Nice to see.

[RedDevil66]

this is the BEST description I ever read on Gaslighting. It's a common tactic with an addict.

 

http://www.abuserecovery.yolasite.com/gaslighting.php

[RedDevil66]

I never heard the term before I came to LS, either.It's truly an insidious

method of creating a smokescreen to cover up one's wrongdoings. Convince the other person that there's something wrong with their perceptions, and grasp of reality,that their suspicions are way off in left field, leaving them to second-guess themselves.

 

And convince others that the target is mentally unstable, thereby damaging or destroying their credibility socially.......as other people begin to tiptoe around the "crazy' person, that further erodes the target's confidence in their own sanity.(if everyone's treating me like I'm crazy, ....then maybe there is something wrong with me??.....)

 

(also known as abuse by proxy.....)

 

It's cruel beyond measure.

http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f9.t5318

here's another article:

 

opps, Only saw this now. Same site as I just posted

 

Lots of good info on there

[NoIDidn't]

I think gaslighting is the worst form of abuse, but from the posts I've read here over the years, the OPs seem to think that the ends (getting the MP to leave the marriage for them, spend time with them in the A, etc, around the A) justify the means.

 

I could never be okay with knowing the person that I was *dating* was doing that to ANYONE in their lives, let alone the person they were married to. Its one of the first red flags you mark in a person: the way they treat others that they have Rs with.

[freestyle]

opps, Only saw this now. Same site as I just posted

 

Lots of good info on there

 

 

great minds think alike.....

 

here's another which I believe is even more comprehensive, and in-depth,for anyone interested in reading further:

 

http://voiceofcassandra.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/emotional-abuse-or-gaslighting/

 

 

http://voiceofcassandra.wordpress.com/category/invalidation/ this one's even better

Edited February 12, 2010 by freestyle

[wheelwright]

I saw this movie as a child and it stays with me today as one of the most accurate accounts of social evil I have come across.

 

I knew on LS what they meant by gaslighting straight away.

 

It's a circumstance that takes the victim as first viewpoint. That victim knows they are being taken in, but have enough trust and doubt in their own mental well-being to question.

 

In the film, the WH tells the BS that the lights were off (gaslights) but in fact left them on himself. It is a metaphor for affairs, that has become part of the language - gaslighting = telling someone you were at home when you know they were off with another W/M. The gaslightee has to confront the idea that they are mad, or that their spouse is a complete and utter ...In fact, this is the same choice for many.

 

And in As I would say the extent of the gaslighting goes hand in hand with the lack of forgiveness. Because that driving someone mad is knowing and unforgivable.

 

And it is at the root of why As are so difficult to get over.

 

Watch the film. It's a thriller. Evil better than freddie ever knew.

 

The other player deliberately plays on the ensuing paranoia. To the extent that they want their victim to feel like they are are going mad. I believe in the film the protagonist wishes their W to commit suicide, I don't remember how it ends. I just remember being shocked as a kid.

 

In the A situation, the AP says everything is OK, though the BS knows gut reaction it isn't.

[angie2443]

In the film, the WH tells the BS that the lights were off (gaslights) but in fact left them on himself. It is a metaphor for affairs, that has become part of the language - gaslighting = telling someone you were at home when you know they were off with another W/M. .

 

Actually, while the man in the film did cheat, the reason he wanted his wife to think she was crazy, was so he could search for some hidden jewels in the house next door. I don't remember the whole story line, but it was a great thriller and mystery.

[RedDevil66]

I've come to learn more about gaslighting than I wanted to know from my Al Anon groups and literature.

 

What I've be told and see is that not all forms of gas lighting are intended. Some people (especially addicts) suffer severe forms of inadequacy and will unconsciously gaslight in order to save their fragile egos.

 

When it's intended, this is when it becomes evil.

 

I need to see this movie

[Angel1111]

I watched the movie last night on YouTube. Don't read this paragraph if you don't want to know details about it. It wasn't too bad, considering that it was done in the 40's. Some of it was a little corny but it was ok, and yes the husband was creepy. It took me a little while but I finally recognied Angela Lansbury as one of the servants. I saw later that it was her first movie and she turned 18 during filming (like Kristen Stewart did while filming Twilight). As someone mentioned, he was cheating on his wife, but his main goal was to find his wife's aunt's jewels (the aunt that he murdered). He wasn't in the house next door, he was in the attic of their house, but he got to it by going to the back of the building. While he went out, he would play around with the gas that went to the house and caused it to go down and then he'd bring it back up again later (we never see him do this but it's implied).

 

I guess you could take the analogy of 'gaslighting' to mean a deliberate (and pre-meditated) form of trickery.

 

Thanks, freestyle, for letting me know I could watch it on YouTube. That was pretty cool. Now I'll never forget the whole concept behind this term.

[jennie-jennie]

I've come to learn more about gaslighting than I wanted to know from my Al Anon groups and literature.

 

What I've be told and see is that not all forms of gas lighting are intended. Some people (especially addicts) suffer severe forms of inadequacy and will unconsciously gaslight in order to save their fragile egos.

 

When it's intended, this is when it becomes evil.

 

I need to see this movie

 

I never heard the term "gaslighting" mentioned in Al-Anon. I was just wondering whether this term applies to my ex. Are you saying you have read about gaslighting in Al-Anon's literature?

 

My ex would at times tell me what my feelings were, and even when he was incorrect he was sure he was the one who was right. A very bad experience when someone claims they know what your emotions are better than you yourself. Also he would continually tell me to give him space, physical space, that I had to check on his mood before showing him affection - you know any hugs or kisses or so. Do these things go under gaslighting? They sure felt bad enough. The first part I described felt like it was threatening my mental health.

Edited February 12, 2010 by jennie-jennie