My girlfriend broke my heart beyond repair...It hurts more then anything Ive felt

[CJB1]

Sorry CJB1 but stop trying to solve this problem. Your trying to fix her into loving you. She is not with you because she does not want to be with you. You can rationalize it any way you want to try to make yourself feel better but look at her actions. Her actions are that she is not with you.

 

I even suspect there is someone else she has her eye on and wants to keep you as a back up if she can land the new fish.

 

Buy "No More Mr Nice Guy". Yes, you may appear to be the stud of America but your behavior toward this relationship is classic Nice Guy syndrome behavior. You hoping that through giving her space will allow her to see now great of a man you are, who much you really care because your giving her what she wants, and her seeing that, she will then understand how much you love he and come back to you.

 

Fact all that space is doing is showing her that she can get along without you, It allows the connections between you and her to slowly untie. It show you as being weak, dependent on her choices in life before you will move on.

 

Go NC, not to get her back but to give you space to get over this one, to understand how not to repeat your patterns in the next relationship, and how to become a better you. NO more text, no more facy-facebook, no more emails , conversations, no more contact start focusing on you.

 

Sadly I think you're totally right...I really wish I could get her out of my unconscious. The dreams every night really bother me.

 

The next time she texts or calls...Im going to ask her straight up what shes thinking...if she doesnt straight forwardly ask for another chance with me... its over. I cant be her back up...or crutch. I cant put my life on hold after I all I did was make her life better this last year.

[CJB1]

So 5 days after we talk on the phone (says Monday will be a good day to meet for dinner last time we talked and she canceled dinner).. she texts on Monday "hey How are you doing" (No talk of Dinner) ...I respond an hour later "Im good. Im just working right now" She writes a minute later "Oh OK" then nothing that night or today....she obviously thought I would ask about the dinner since she chose that day to text me.

 

She keeps all our photos on her main Facebook profile pics...and keeps herself "In a Relationship" status wise after it took forever for her to put that up.

 

She told me she wants this break...but keeps on checking to see how I am etc to possibly gauge my need for her....well Im dying without her but havent showed one once of emotion...not one.

 

She plays games and played very very hard to get when we stared dating...Im beginning to be less sad and more angry about all this Needing Space BS, about her not trying to return the $3000 earrings etc, $1000 purse,(Bday/Xmas gifts I wouldnt take them back just feel used since she got them in January) about all her texting games, miss-communication. She seems to be publicly keeping us in a relationship with the majority of her peers except her closest friends...WTF. I just want to start over with her slowly or end this. If I didnt love her so damn much I would easily move on as Ive done before. She is THE ONE and thats not going to change so easily for me.

Edited March 3, 2010 by CJB1

[DustySaltus]

Didn't everyone here tell you to stick to NC with her?

 

You want to get from feelings of anger or sadness to INDIFFERENCE.

 

She is playing games because YOU ARE LETTING HER:

 

"You have to stay in contact with me, you have to chase ME!"

 

"She's keep you in a 'relationship' with everyone except her close friends"

 

A SECOND CHANCE CANNOT WORK UNLESS BOTH PEOPLE REALIZE WHAT THEY HAVED DONE WRONG AND MAKE A COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER TO FIX THOSE PROBLEMS.

 

Even if you go back with her at this point you will slowly start to lose your own identity because she is trying to mold you into what she wants. You will be miserable down the line because she knows she can get away with anything.

 

I've been in your shoes and I slowly forgot who I was. One day I woke up and REFUSED to be treated that way anymore and it scared the crap out of her. I wanted to get back to being me and I did. It won't be easy but you need go through the storms to truly appreciate the sunny days in the future.

 

Just cut her off completely. It has to be ALL or NOTHING...there's no other way.

 

NO CONTACT at ALL.

[CJB1]

its hard since she is so stubborn, keeps contact and keeps herself in a relationship on facebook....wish it would just end totally so I could deal with it accordingly

[NopeNah]

Stop looking at her facebook. It's not healthy for you. Imagine how you'll feel when she does change the pics and status. As of now she's gone! She is feeding her ego by texts and dinners. Take that away frow her now! Don't let her use you in any fashion. Fall off the planet for a month or 2 as far as she's concerned. When you keep 'hanging' around you are making the breakup easy for her. Don't do that!

[monkeymaid]

sounds like you are rather outcome dependent on this one and have turned yourself into capt save-a-ho.

 

let me get this straight

 

1. you willingly fell in love with a girl who was emotionally unavailable

2. you were shocked when she decided needed space away from the person she chose to USE

3. you are still clinging to a made up idea of what you thought she was

4. now you chose to see the fantasy instead of the reality and then chose to stay blind to the reality when everyone here is telling you to jump ship.

 

someone told me once that we seek advice when we know the answer to our own questions but are afraid of the truth we already see.

 

i know its fearful and you feel like you have lost, but the reality is that if you love her, leave her alone and let her sort her feelings out. all you are doing is keeping her in the mind **** she has been in for a while.

 

if she wants you she will make it known. until then, she doesnt exist and you need to save yourself.

 

 

....get to work