yes Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 jealousy stems from insecurity, right? a secure person has no trouble listening to others being praised, complimented, etc - even if it's his/her partner doing it, right? minor jealousy is healthy, but posessiveness and jealousy over lil things is a sign of insecurity, right? one cannot become less jealous directly (i mean feeling-wise, not showing-it-wise), but one can become more secure and hence less jealous, right? if so, how does one become more secure? one's secure if one likes oneself, right? that happens when one has no standards or meets one's standards, right? very hard not to have standards in this society, huh? the other option is to meet one's standards - two ways for that: lower your standards or heighten your achievement, right? now, the best way to heighten your achievement is to be happy with where you are but to want more - desire & minor pressure is ideal for progress as far as i know... right? smells like a circle to me. So - lowering the standards it is! RIGHT? thanks, -yes PS it's amazing to see people who you admire show insecurity ... a friend of mine is one of the strongest, nicest and prettiest girls i know. turns out she's got a TON of insecurities that cloud her life. that sux, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 You are confident in your own assertions to not put a question after each one of them, right? I'm just kidding. Anyway, I would agree that jealousy stems from insecurity. But I also consider jealousy to be a step away from curiousity. I think that jealousy is an unhealthy part of a relationship, that reflects not only personal insecurity, but a lack of trust in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 desire & minor pressure is ideal for progress as far as i know... right? smells like a circle to me. So - lowering the standards it is! RIGHT? That assumes that not having met one's standards - YET - is reason to be displeased with oneself or think negatively of oneself. I take the perspective that the fact of sincerely working towards meeting one's standards is sufficient to quit censuring oneself. You have to accept your humanity (i.e. forgive yourself) when you slip sometimes - that doesn't mean that you ditch all your standards because sometimes you fail to meet them. it's amazing to see people who you admire show insecurity ... a friend of mine is one of the strongest, nicest and prettiest girls i know. turns out she's got a TON of insecurities that cloud her life. that sux, huh? It's also heartbreaking when wonderful people feel worthless and don't realize how truly worthwhile they really are. That people get burdened with such pain is a very, VERY sad fact of life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted January 4, 2004 Author Share Posted January 4, 2004 That assumes that not having met one's standards - YET - is reason to be displeased with oneself or think negatively of oneself. -------------- Uhm, I meant standards for _right now_, future standars are goals, I have no issues with having goals to strive for. But if one says "at 30, one must have a job that pays X" (to use a simplistic example), and at 30, they don't have that job, the hair-ripping begins ... right? thanks for speedy replies, both of you -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 Ah. I thought by standards you meant being self-disciplined or patient - not goals like salary, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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