Why is Valentines Day so loaded?

[OFGnomore]

For my life I scoffed at this holiday. Hallmark holiday etc. But for some reason it's bringing up a whole lot of pain for me. I'm a ex MOW. Just read a thread from a few weeks ago about another having difficulty with this day. Why does this day trigger so much for so many, OPs, BSs male and female? When I ended things with exMM. He contacted me once after Vday to tell me how hard it was for him to get through the day.

 

FTR, H and I are celebrating with dinner together but I still feel heavy in my heart this day for some reason.

[revelations]

OFG,

I am new here to LS, I am married to a wonderful woman that means the world to me. However I had been cheated on in one LTR and a few sort term relationships. Just to keep this short, the one time I tried to stay in the relationship after being cheated on was the worse thing I could have done to myself. I would like to remind you that all tho I understand that you do suffer, please keep in mind that your husband is still hurting from this.

As far as V-Day being heavy in your heart.. Well that just might be a bit of guilt. Think about it, that is one of the days that people in love show it to there SO. However knowing what you have done to your hubby and the fact that he is still there with you has got to pull on your heart. Your hubby has shown you true love by action of staying with you and there nothing that I know of that you can do to show this back to him after cheating except to be there for him.

So why is it heavy in your heart? Guilt, remorse, low self-esteem? Maybe you just feel that don't deserve his love? I have no clue, but something to look at. Days like this and others will be rough on you, this is because you have to make amends for your actions. Problem is that it is very difficult to do this in the case of infidelity. So that amends has to be on a daily basis. This is different than just saying I'm sorry it is by a show of action. Find out what actions you can take other than what you have already done to help your husband along. This might take some time, however after awhile you will be able to forgive yourself and days like this won't be as difficult for you.

I hope I help.