garyg199 Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 okay, i'm not to sure what to do in my situation anymore, i hope someone can help me. For as long as i can remember i've never really had a good relationship with my dad at all. I was always close to my mom though. Recentley in september my dad moved out after years of my parents fighting all the time blah blah. Honestly its sad to say buit i felt so much better about everything when he wasn't (isn't) here. Around november they started going on dates which was weird, than they started sleeping in the same bed together for the first time in 2 years probably which was REALLY weird, and now im guessing he's moving back in. The most simplest way i could put why i dont get along with my dad is because he pretty much always tries to make my life and my lifes situations as hard as he can. My dad has just turned fourty and has been collecting workmans comp for the past five plus year for a BS reason, and just sits around and does nothing but harass ME about me not working enough and me not doing enough around the house, and ON , and ON. SO. now BOTH of my parents are collecting some sort of government assistance and BOTH sit on the couch all day long and treat me like COMPLETE GARBAGE. a perfect example is tonight in fact.... I walk in from seeing my friend at the hospital because he was in a very bad car accident, i walk in around 10 ish. My dad asks me to take the garbage out to the road. okay no big deal. but what is a big deal is the fact that theres two feet of snow on the ground where i have to bring my garbage across my yard...why couldn't he have shoveled it all day being he didnt do anything?>!>?! So i said that to him and my mom basically starts making fun of me telling me to "go back in my hole" which is my room im guessing, and calling all of my things "stupid". Like i know its little things but theyre my parents! Why am i being treated like this?! please help me i know it may not be so informative but theres so much to explain Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 First, how old are you? Secondly, maybe you didn't tell the story, but you didn't say anything at all that would indicate abusive behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Author garyg199 Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 I am 18, and im not really even sure how to explain what goes on. In the past however whenever i was with one of my parents, they would tell me crazy stories that i shouldn't have heard when i was growing up. My dad at one point had me convinced that my mom was a drug addict, and had a serious addiction to pain medicine. Afterwards i saw her totally different, because of something my dad said that according to my mom wasn't true at all. My mother would tell me that my dad was having affairs, and would tell me horrible things that he said to her like making comments about HER dad that had died and couldnt help her...like that's just two of the MANY MANY things i had to hear and see. Is there nothing wrong with that? So now that things are apperently better with them...i feel as though they're both teaming up on me. Is that a little more clear? Link to post Share on other sites
HeyThere Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Your parents seem very unhealthy by your description. You on the other hand see them for what they are. Create a strong group of close friends, family/relatives (sibling?) and mentors. As your parents see you become independent and not need their advice and monetary support your relationship will change. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
cashew Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 okay, i'm not to sure what to do in my situation anymore, i hope someone can help me. For as long as i can remember i've never really had a good relationship with my dad at all. I was always close to my mom though. Recentley in september my dad moved out after years of my parents fighting all the time blah blah. Honestly its sad to say buit i felt so much better about everything when he wasn't (isn't) here. Around november they started going on dates which was weird, than they started sleeping in the same bed together for the first time in 2 years probably which was REALLY weird, and now im guessing he's moving back in. The most simplest way i could put why i dont get along with my dad is because he pretty much always tries to make my life and my lifes situations as hard as he can. My dad has just turned fourty and has been collecting workmans comp for the past five plus year for a BS reason, and just sits around and does nothing but harass ME about me not working enough and me not doing enough around the house, and ON , and ON. SO. now BOTH of my parents are collecting some sort of government assistance and BOTH sit on the couch all day long and treat me like COMPLETE GARBAGE. a perfect example is tonight in fact.... I walk in from seeing my friend at the hospital because he was in a very bad car accident, i walk in around 10 ish. My dad asks me to take the garbage out to the road. okay no big deal. but what is a big deal is the fact that theres two feet of snow on the ground where i have to bring my garbage across my yard...why couldn't he have shoveled it all day being he didnt do anything?>!>?! So i said that to him and my mom basically starts making fun of me telling me to "go back in my hole" which is my room im guessing, and calling all of my things "stupid". Like i know its little things but theyre my parents! Why am i being treated like this?! please help me i know it may not be so informative but theres so much to explain Start working on supporting yourself. (Finish high school, go to college, or get a job, etc.) Recently, I thought about how much energy I would put into complaining about my difficult mom. Instead, I could have been thinking of ways to become financially and emotionally independent. I am more financially independent now. I became more emotionally independent over time. She treats me the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author garyg199 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 thank you so much for the support guys! it really means a lot, it shows helps me realize that im not crazy. as far as being independent..i have finished high school and i am currently working 3 part time jobs and still having a little trouble supporting myself. With that i would like to add that my parents still do not think i am doing enough, and are still constantly harassing me! My mom forbids me to talk to any of my family because of their issues so i dont have anyone really to go to for help. Is there anything else i could possibly do? Link to post Share on other sites
HeyThere Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) My mom forbids me to talk to any of my family because of their issues so i dont have anyone really to go to for help. Is there anything else i could possibly do? She tells you not to speak about it because she doesn't want anyone else to know the nature of their problems. Let your parents pay for college/specialty school, but get an education and get out of the house! You deserve to be gainfully employed and happy. Continue to recognize that your parents issues are theirs and they don't want to deal with these issues. Create boundaries by not discussing private issues, not blaming or being blamed (labeled) by them. If they cross a boundary then immediately call them on it. I don’t announce these boundaries with my birth family. My parents are apart of me however, I need to love and protect myself more so. This has been difficult for me to navigate these waters and I hear your frustration as well. Edited February 16, 2010 by HeyThere Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts