mustangsally Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I've always had a very easy time making friends, but a very difficult time forming relationships with boyfriends. I have had a lot of struggles with self-esteem issues, which is probably part of it. I didn't fall in love for the first time until I was 20....been in love twice and am single and have been for 18 months or so. The thing is, I HATE being single. Absolutely hate it. But I don't hate it enough to just let anyone in, I do have standards. I was concerned that maybe my standards were too high, so I ended up dating several people (not serious, just a date or two) I wouldn't normally consider and ended up finding out that there was a reason I didn't normally consider those types of people. My last break-up was mutual, but I think I was more upset about the fact that I had to be alone again than I was about losing him as a person, which sounds so weird when I type it out. I'm also a very autonomous person...I love to be independent and alone, which sometimes I wonder makes me appear uninterested in men when I'm not....I just dislike depending on others for things I can do for myself. Anyway, the point is, how do you get to the point where you're okay with being single? I don't want to be single for the rest of my life, but it does seem like it's a definite possibility...and I need to be okay with it. I don't want to lower my standards, but I would like to find someone I click with. So...how do you get to the point where you can be okay with being single? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Anyway, the point is, how do you get to the point where you're okay with being single? I don't want to be single for the rest of my life, but it does seem like it's a definite possibility...and I need to be okay with it. I don't want to lower my standards, but I would like to find someone I click with. So...how do you get to the point where you can be okay with being single? I dont think you can get to "that point" everyone wants someone in their life. But I'm like you, I won't lower my standards. So ya keep on looking. Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 if there is someone out there who is ok with being alone than good for them. i dont really know anyone who likes it for long. but also like you i will not lower my standards to just be with anyone just because i am lonely. we have to like who we are with. i dont know how old you are but i am guessing 20's?? 30's??? to which i say - you will not be single for the rest of your life. i am sure of that. something, somehow, someway will happen : ) i guess in the meantime until something happens, being ok with your situation begins with being ok with yourself. you endure it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Accepting the fact that I'll be single for the rest of my life, and medication has made me feel pretty much okay with being single. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 So...how do you get to the point where you can be okay with being single? This quality will help you: I'm also a very autonomous person...I love to be independent and alone, which sometimes I wonder makes me appear uninterested in men when I'm not....I just dislike depending on others for things I can do for myself. Don't ever worry about appearing uninterested. That is actually an aphrodisiac to many men! The trick is to be kind when men approach you - even those you're not interested in. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to talk to someone who is clearly not there to talk to them. So cut them some slack. Not too much, though. The mystery is what keeps them pursuing you. I think the trick is to always LOOK FABULOUS whenever you go out in public... be nice to EVERYBODY (because you never know who's watching!!)... and just go on about your business. Stay busy with hobbies, work, friends and family so you're not thinking about "being ALONE" all the time. Whenever you seek out love & romance, it never happens. It always seems to happen when you're NOT concentrating on it! So just do what you love, and the men will come. Whenever you're deeply involved in a beloved activity, so much so that it's all that matters in the moment, well - that's a natural beauty enhancer, and trust me men notice it!! The right man will find YOU. All you have to do is show up, look great, and keep on living your life. Out Loud And In Technicolor!! :bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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