verbatim Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Hey all, a little quick info here: Im 18 and I've never had a girlfriend before, I go to college in fairly small city/town, so Im kinda new at this stuff. I just met up with a girl I knew a few years ago for and Im interested in her, we hung out with some friends for the night. She is now single, and said that more than once that night. I talked to her later (online) and she gave me her number and said keep that number in touch. Id assume this is good. However here is the little twist, a few of my friends seem to show interest in her too. She lives pretty far away too, so Im not sure what I should do. I dont really care to get a bunch of people pissed off at me. How long is too long to not call? and do I need a reason to call, and of course I dont what I should call about? she since returned back home by the way. Ill admit it, I am the grand master of hesitating and Ive let a few chances slip by me already, but Im getting tired of it so I figure maybe its about time to do things a little different. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 However here is the little twist, a few of my friends seem to show interest in her too. I'm not male, and I really have no idea how men react to these kinds of things - that is if you're close friends with them. If you aren't close, of course they will be pissed. Really I can only tell you how I would react if a friend of mine were to try and steal my "new love interest". I would probably be upset if she knew I liked this person. If she didn't know, I would hold nothing against her. I suspect most females would feel like this. Unless they're insanely jealous. Definitely don't throw away good friendships for a relationship that hasn't even started. That's my opinion anyway. She lives pretty far away too, so Im not sure what I should do. If you're not into pursuing a long-distance relationship (warning: they can be hard as hell to maintain. I'm in one), why not make a good friend? How long is too long to not call? and do I need a reason to call, and of course I dont what I should call about Hmm... how long is too long to call? Let's see. If I gave out my number, and the guy didn't call in like a week, I'd assume he wasn't interested. BUT if he called within another week or 2, it'd be a pleasant surprise. Hopefully some more ladies will post so you'll have more views on this. Also, I don't think you need a "reason" to call her up. She gave you her #, so she obviously wanted to hear from you. Let that be the reason. If you two got along pretty well, then conversation should start up easily. Good luck -n- have fun. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Author verbatim Posted January 5, 2004 Author Share Posted January 5, 2004 Yeah Im not sure if the whole long distance thing is a great idea either. As for the friends, they arent that close, but they are the only ones I have at the moment. I moved here recently, and I havent had a close friend in a loooong time. I just thought of this, if they are interested then they would do the same thing to me and be aware of it. Not that it makes it ok, but thats one way of looking at it I suppose. Also she seems to be keeping her options open you could say, not just focusing on me. Soooooooooooo some of my friends/acquaintances probably have gotten her number also. Also I want to atleast keep her on the friend basis, she is cool person, Im not sure if not calling would be rude in that way. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Yeah Im not sure if the whole long distance thing is a great idea either. It is wonderful and terrible at the same time. I feel bad giving negative advice about it, as I am in that kind of relationship. I will just say it's not as easy as I thought it was gonna be. Hopefully we won't be LD much longer buuuut hey, this is your thread not mine. My apologies. From the rest of your post it sounds like you really need to focus on making friends, instead of chasing after this girl. This is not to say that I don't think you should be interested in having a relationship, or that she isn't worthy of having (I don't know you. I don't know her). Simply that you seem to need some solid friendships at the moment. Also I want to atleast keep her on the friend basis, she is cool person, Im not sure if not calling would be rude in that way. Rude? I don't think so, as long as you don't lead her on in any way. I mean, don't be blunt and say you AREN'T interested either. Just let it remain platonic, until you want it to develop into something else. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Author verbatim Posted January 5, 2004 Author Share Posted January 5, 2004 From the rest of your post it sounds like you really need to focus on making friends, instead of chasing after this girl. This is not to say that I don't think you should be interested in having a relationship, or that she isn't worthy of having (I don't know you. I don't know her). Simply that you seem to need some solid friendships at the moment. Some good points, thanks. It seems that with the friends I have now, whenever anyone meets or speaks of a new girl they all jump the gun. See, its kinda a small place where I am so if one guy I know is interested or finds a girl the rest will want to meet, or they will just ending up meeting somehow, somewhere (someone who has lived in a small town will know what I mean). Which isnt initially a bad thing but with everyone Ive known so far, girls come first and there friends come second or not at all. Where Im going with this is, if I always worry about them Ill never get anywhere. You are right that I need to build some solid friendships, I am just very weary of them (them being male friends), I kinda have a "trust no male friend completly state of mind", due to previous incidents. Maybe everyone Ive known so far has a bit of snake in them? I keep to myself usually, ie: I would never say the stuff I wrote on this forum to anyone I know, but I would to girlfriend. Anyway as long as I keep her as a friend I suppose there is no loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verbatim Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 Here is an update, she is moving to where I live very soon. Unfortunately Im getting a headache from my "friends." They are all going for her and I get to hear all of it, it bugs the crap out of me. One of the people I know is trying to break up with his girlfriend (who he is a jerk too) so he can try to hook up with her. I dont understand how one person can cause such a mess, Ill probably just stay out of it all together. It is just frustrating, especially hearing one say "im gonna nail her" , if I were a narc Id tell her; if I were more pissed Id punch him. But instead Im doing nothing, just sitting silently trying to let it go in one ear and out the other. What bugs me the most is that they will do this with any girl. Id hate to see them use her, they are only looking to score. The new semester of college is starting soon and hopefully I can find some friends I can trust, but Ill always run into these people pretty often, as long as I live here. What what would you guys do in this situation, in the short run and in the long run? Link to post Share on other sites
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