4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 So, Ive posted a million times about my friend, whom we bassically ended having a FWB relationship for a couple of months now. Well, the problem was that I didnt want that to begin with. I loved him as a friend for so very long that I knew if we got into that, our friendship would go to hell. Unfortunately alcohol makes me forget that. On top of that, the past few times after we hook up he's acted very strangely. He either leaves right away or like last night, he starts saying he feels so bad that it happened, that he knows I dont want it but still happening etc. This ofcourse makes me feel even worst! I mean come one at least let us enjoy it if we're gonna go ahead and do it! And then the third thing is that on top of the physical aspect I have a very strong feeling he wants more than friendship. The things he says to me, how he often tries to makes me jealous, how he looks at me, how he wants to spend so much time with me, just hanging out, watching movies and talking. I kid you not, we were spending at least an hour or more talking every day about all kinds of things. He would sometimes say things that made me think he wants more like...for instance I said that i would never date someone who cheated....at first he said "well that crosses me off from the list then" and then he went on to justify that he didnt actually cheat....they were on a break. Anyhow, stuff like that has had me in a tizzy so last night i had enough. He ofcourse asked me to join him for drinks (on valentine's day no less). I went and as usual we had a great time. When we got back to my place at first we just chilled, he had his head on my lap while i just kind of massaged his head and back watching tv. After that he had the idea of having one last shot which we did. At that point i was REALLY gone but still had my mind set on not hooking up.... Later we were gonna go to sleep, and so i went to put on my pjs....he complained about it told me not to wear anything. I said no, put on my pjs and jumped in bed. He kind of play fought me which made me fall off of the bed and get hurt. HE picked me up and just cuddled me for a while. I dont remember much after that. All i know is that we ofcourse hooked up. Afterwards though he got up and got dressed. He started saying he was feeling really bad about us hooking up again, that I had said no and he still did it. I was very confused so I sat on his lap and tried to reason with him. I told him it was ok, i allowed it, so dont feel so horrible. He went onto say he's trying to be a better man and doing that doesnt help. So i finally asked him if he wanted more than friendship with me. He said no. He said he just felt safe with me and that made him think it would be ok to take our friendship to that next level. I told him that sometimes what he says and does dont add up to that but he promised me he didnt have feelings for me. Just friends. So I said that in that case, given that we've tried to not hook up and it doesnt work, and given that we will never date, the best thing we can do is put space between us...we've gotten too close where the lines are blurred He was upset about that. He got up and left. In my drunken state I just burst out crying and wrote him a message. I told him i was letting him go, that i didnt want to be the cause of his guilt and that i wish him the best. I followed that by deleting him from FB and deleting his phone number Now im wondering if i took it too far...if the message was too dramatic and Im taking everything to an extreme. The thing is though, im not sure what else to do....but i do know im really sad. What do you guys think of this mess?? anyone can help me clarify what the heck just happened and if i made a mistake by basically deleting him from my life like that?? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 best thing when emotions are high and things are fuzzy is to do nothing. give yourself time to step back and process what the reality of the relationship is or isn't... time will make it a bit more clear what action - if any you need to take with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 I know, i wont be trying to contact him in any way. Im very surprised at how sad I am about losing him. I mean, Ive thought about it before, that our friendship is completely ruined the moment we crossed that line. I hate how controlling he can be, and thats just as "friends", so I know a relationship, even if he wanted to, which he denies he does would be a very bad idea. Yet, Im really sad that Im pretty sure this marks the end for us in every way shape or form. ALso, im afraid that eventually im going to realize I do care for him in THAT way....i dont want that. THen again it doesnt matter, its just...i really dont want to find that out. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship - take his word for it. if he still chooses time with you - it's only going to work to his benefit after he says he doesn't want the full relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 Yeah i realized that last night. as I said i dont want a relationship with him...at least not all of me (I also realized there is a part of me that does...otherwise I wouldnt hook up with him...or wish he would stay with me the next day). So i accept the fact that we're either FWB or nothing at all, and quite frankly I rather be nothing at all....sucks but...thats life. Why does life get so fing complicated? Link to post Share on other sites
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