wierdmunky Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I've been single for almost a year, and since then, have reconnected with a good amount of guy classmates from all years of school. (jr high, high school, and college). It's been fun, and I've told all of my guy friends that I want to be single for a while, and I'm not looking for anything except for some good friendship, and adventurous good times. I like being able to hangout, talk, get some male perspective and influence without looking into it too deeply and thinking something it's not. We're just having fun, and I'd like to take a break from relationships. I feel like inevitably there would be feelings involved, but right now two of my friends (who don't know each other) have been buying things for me, and I'm not sure if that is ok or not?? I've made it clear more than once I'm not interested and not subtle about it either. I'm not touchy feely, and don't really make sexual innuendo jokes, but I am a good listener and can pay attention. Some ppl have said that that makes me look interested. Well I am, but just about their lives! One friend got me a designer wallet, and continues to ask me out eat allllllllllllll the time saying he is the only one that can spoil me blah blah, the other has bought me my favorite everything that we've ever talked about, and as much as I appreciate everything, I almost feel wrong about accepting these things. I already talked to them about it, they always say they don't want anything in return, and not to worry about it. Are they trying to tell me something, or is this normal for a plutonic guy girl relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 It's not normal. I do next to nothing for a chick unless she's my GF or she's returning the favor. I have 1 woman friend. Just friends. I treat her just like my guy friends. These guys are trying to buy your affections & if you are accepting them then it's going to eventually blow up if you don't start dateing one of them. Whatever it is you have with these guys it is not what I would consider a freindship. Link to post Share on other sites
hats Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 It's obvious they want to be more than friends. If the gifts were small then I wouldn't make a fuss about it but I'd start feeling uncomfortable accepting something like a designer wallet too. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I almost feel wrong about accepting these things. I already talked to them about it, they always say they don't want anything in return, and not to worry about it. Are they trying to tell me something, or is this normal for a platonic guy girl relationship. If such gifts are occasional and you reciprocate in kind with 'friend' gifts and share entertainment expenses like you would do with a friend, you send a message that there is no possibility of romance. If a received gift has a perceived romantic content, then it's time for a 'talk'. IMO, it's probably best to assume that all men you meet and get 'friendly' with want to boink you, not to be confused with having a relationship with you. True platonic male friends are few and far between. A clear indicator of one is that he won't seriously flirt with you and/or will consider you flirting with him to be weird and won't reciprocate. Lastly, be clear about what you want. If you're looking for a guy to share an activity with, focus on the activity, not the guy. That's what friends do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks again for the input! Well, the "occasion" for the wallet was my birthday, but that happened a month ago, and it kind of sounded like a made up excuse. It's still too expensive for a birthday gift even with employee discount. True platonic male friends are few and far between. A clear indicator of one is that he won't seriously flirt with you and/or will consider you flirting with him to be weird and won't reciprocate. Lastly, be clear about what you want. If you're looking for a guy to share an activity with, focus on the activity, not the guy. That's what friends do. I did forget about the fact that flirting would be weird for friends. I seem to only think that way with girls! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 it's probably best to assume that all men you meet and get 'friendly' with want to boink you, not to be confused with having a relationship with you. This is a sad thought. Link to post Share on other sites
ecstacy Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks again for the input! Well, the "occasion" for the wallet was my birthday, but that happened a month ago, and it kind of sounded like a made up excuse. It's still too expensive for a birthday gift even with employee discount. If he hasn't been in contact with you since your birthday then it wouldn't be strange (late present) but yeah if he has its definitely dodgy/made up. There is no way a guy would buy a platonic friend an expensive gift (how much are designer wallets anyway, over $200 I'm guessing), unless he had feelings for a girl, or wanted to ''boink'' her Pretty clear cut IMO. You can accept these gifts if you want but its just going to lead them on and things will turn awkward. Personally I'd milk them for all they have, since the end result is going to be the same anyway (haha..) Link to post Share on other sites
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