floydgondoli Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 My ex-girlfriend and I broke up in October 2003. We were togther for 4+ years and I had made plans to ask her to marry me this summer. We are both 28 years old. It all started after I was asking her to be more emotionally supportive. She tends to get wrapped up in work and loves to shop at all costs. I told her that I was talking to other people and she took this as a sign that I was seeing someone else. She was cheated on in her past relationship and has never let it go. She left for two weeks without telling me where she was going and left me with the bills to our house. She came back two weeks later and told me that she had no desire to help out this month. I got mad and told her that if she does not help then she cannot stay. She left and had her parents move all of her things to a friend's house the next day. I reached out to her and asked if there was a way to work on our problems. She said that right now she needs to be alone. I tried for 3 weeks after to talk to her and she said that she thought it was never going to happen and that she needs space. She asked if she could get together with me after thanksgiving and have dinner. I agreed. At dinner, she told me that she needs to be on her own for awhile and that she did not believe that I was ever going to marry. I had to show her the receipt for the sailboat I had rented and the ring that I had picked out. Her demeanor completely changed. She stuck to her guns and said that she needs space "even if it means I lose you." I tried for another week to no avail and then said that I would be her friend and that she can have all the space she needs. I said "let's meet up in a couple of months and have dinner and catch up." She called me back immediately and said that she loved me and that she wanted to take me to the airport the next week when I was going to see my family. She called two times in the week leading up...telling me that she loved me and missed me and that she bought me a present because it reminded her of me...When she took me to the airport, she held my hand the entire way and told me that she loved me and misses me terribly...I took it as a good sign I called her the next week to say "merry xmas" and left a message. She called me right back. I asked about New Year's and she said she would talk to me when she got back from visiting her family. After visiting her family, she then became very cold and distant. We argued and said some nasty things to each other and said that it was best if we both take some space. She told me that she loves me more than any other person and "not to tell her if I start seeing someone else as it would break her heart in two." I have not talked to her since. I love her more than anything and regret all of the actions leading up to this. DO you think that it is possible that her she said some bad things to her family who helped her move out and they may be influencing her decision? I am looking for advice as to how to proceed. Is there any way to go back? Any advice would be most helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 There are two ways a girl can end a relationship. A girl can be open, honest, and communicate to you her desire to no longer commit to you. This is hard. A girl can also remain aloof, refuse to communicate, let problems fester, and ultimately sabotage the relationship by, if not ending it, making it miserable for you. This is a bit easier, as she needs not have an emotional investment. Do not marry this girl, until you are sure that you have a healthy relationship. I understand that you've "wasted" four years on this girl, but don't waste the rest of your life until you are sure that's what you want to do. Instead, keep trying communicate with her, and if she continues to make excuses, begin the healing process. There are a few ways to save a relationship. Communication is one of them. A diamond ring is not. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts