Very and distrubing behavior from my ex girlfriend

[bluestraps]

Ive posted about this before wondering what to do , but now it's more of a why is this hapening and what kind of a person am I dealing with.My ex girlfriend cheated on me four times during 10 years and her excuse being she was lonley , We didnt have the most intimate relationship like some couples do, most everything else was ok though. She would sometimes flirt with other guys but Id usualy put a stop to that .Well she cheated and left me for the last guy she cheated with 5 months ago. This person I do know. I know she cant be too thriled with her current situation, there are some things she did not learn untill getting a closer look at him and his personal ways. But through some extenuating circumstances we met recently, and I did express a wanting to try to fix things. And she also told me about some areas where she was unsure of what she wanted. Now it ended up with her wet kissing me the way we used to do, it lasted about 5 seconds. So if she so confessses that she loves the new guy so much and has been with him for 5 months, why is she kissing me and how can she do that when things are the way they are now. Can she love this guy and still give it to me like that, I swear just like in a movie or a tv show.Either its a emotional moment we had or maybe she is trying to test me and play with my head and emotions. Or even she may be regreting what she did . She is very emotionaly driven she does'nt always think first. Is this just the way she is or is she realy looking for trouble with her new relationship. Its where I kind of feel bad for the new guy now. Is he heading for the same problem I had. In a way I hope he is.

[Bejita463]

Why would you want to put yourself through that again?

[The Paper Knight]

Why would you want to put yourself through that again?

 

I dont get it either. She cheats on you because she wants something better, this is nothing against you! Its just what she is attracted to and she clearly likes to be in a relationship while still looking around. I am not sure how to label these kind of people, but they are broken.

 

Get rid of her!

[Bryanp]

You would have to be a masochist to get back with her. She is looking for someone better and will do it again. She has done it to you 4 times. You would be a fool to try this again.

[In Like Flynn]

"why is she kissing me "

 

 

Why............because she likes the thrill of cheating!!! You my become the OM to her current BF.

[meerkat stew]

She is a serial cheater, it's what they do. Waste more time on her if you miss being cheated on for some bizarre reason.

[scorpmale003]

it seems to be you haven't had enough...

[bluestraps]

She is fun to be around and sweet and actualy inteligent . But its like she is totaly selfish, something is not running correctly in her mind

Edited February 17, 2010 by bluestraps

[LucreziaBorgia]

She is fun to be around and sweet and actualy inteligent . But its like she is totaly selfish, something is not running correctly in her mind

 

She is one of those sorts who needs constant objective male validation. It has little to do with the nature of her relationship and everything to do with the nature of her needy ego. She would cheat even if she were with a computer programmed "perfect boyfriend" - why? Because she has to know that she is wanted, needed and lusted after by men in general and not just the man she is with.

 

I can't help but to wonder if the relationship with her father was particularly crappy.

[Sal Paradise]

You need psychological help. Both or you. You must have the worst self esteem in the world to want to get back with someone who has absolutely no respect for you. She probably laughs about how pathetic you are when you're not around. Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?

[bluestraps]

Yea, you bet I need help. I dont think shes really thinking much about anything but herself . But so am I , and in turn this is what makes this situation pretty sad

[D-Lish]

We didnt have the most intimate relationship like some couples do,

 

Maybe, she spent the entire ten years wanting a less lonley, more fulfilling relationship with you.

 

When people- especially guys, admit things weren't overly intimate- I tend to think the worst case scenario.

 

It never, ever excusues cheating- but it might explain the motivations behind it.

[bluestraps]

Basicaly thats it , this is in fact was alot of what im finding out is eventualy why its over. I will stress that she has a responsibility in this too. Some women are more independent minded and some are needier.

 

But of course how about all what I went through , Alot of times she didnt appreciate me. And I didnt always feel appreciated. I really worked hard on our relationship.

 

So really I should be happy as a kid with a sucker. Now I think of all the dates and women I could have been with for the last 9 years.

[paleblue]

She is one of those sorts who needs constant objective male validation. It has little to do with the nature of her relationship and everything to do with the nature of her needy ego. She would cheat even if she were with a computer programmed "perfect boyfriend" - why? Because she has to know that she is wanted, needed and lusted after by men in general and not just the man she is with.

 

I can't help but to wonder if the relationship with her father was particularly crappy.

 

 

B-I-N-G-O. needy selfish egomaniac.

 

i am sure you have deep feelings for her but the fact is she will never be there for you the way you want. she will continue to do this for as long as you know her. her behavior will never change, not for you, him, or him. and now, she thinks its ok to do this because you have taught her she can. banging other guys cant make you feel good, or does it?? i know it doesnt. no one likes it. if you did you would not be posting about it. so this is a good start... now's maybe the time you should start knuckling up.

 

next time she wants to come back, whats the harm with putting her off a little?? i mean sort of like an experiment. o i am busy right now, or how about next week. just to see what happens. gotta start learning to put her off somehow or you will never get out of this. and you do want to get out out of this and eventually be happy someone? someday? yes? no?

Edited February 26, 2010 by paleblue

[bluestraps]

Some of the comments are off base, she's not all that bad, not a monster or evil. . The problem is like all relationships that end... there were certain problems that led to it. Her cheating over the years was basicaly an attemp to end our relationship. I did not let it end so whose fault was it anyway.. I guess mine.