Dee429 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Hello - My boyfriend and I have been together for almost ten years, we have two beautiful daughters together that are 4 and 2 and have an apartment together. Marriage is not something that I have really thought about until recently...in the past year and half or so, i've been really thinking about marriage...I will be 28 years old this year and i would like to be married before i'm 30. I've told my boyfriend my thoughts about marriage in several occasions to which he responds...it's going to happen...and I say okay that's fine but when? and he'll say soon..and i said well soon is not really a direct answer...we'll he told me next year...which is this year and he still hasn't even brought up the subject, let alone a ring. I thought that maybe he would propose for New Year or even Valentine's day and both holidays came and went and i didn't get a proposal. On Valentine's day he gave me a card that I honestly felt like crumbling up and throwing in his face! I know that sounds horrible but after 10 years i think i would like a commitment. He tells me he loves me and that he does want to be with me for the rest of his life so why won't he ask me to marry him? I know that right now our financial situation is tight, but i told him that i would be okay without having a ring as longest we set a date to marry through cityhall at least and he responded by telling me that he didn't want that, that he wanted a big wedding, but my thing is...we've already been together for ten years, have two kids...why can't we make it official through city hall and then have a big wedding later on down the road when we have the means to do so... These thoughts are driving me crazy...i've even caught myself not wanting to do the duties that a wife would do...like i don't want to cook or do his laundry 'cause it's like hello! i'm not your wife; therefore, i don't want to play wife without having the commitment. So i don't know... What should i do? It's a difficult spot because he is a good man and a great father, and a lot of my friends tell me that marriage it's just a paper and that if he's doing as he's supposed to than i should be fine with that...but i'm not! Marriage it's important to me and i don't want my daughters growing up wondering why their parents aren't married.. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyBoop Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Personally, I don't see why a man would marry a woman who is already more or less a "wife" to him. I.e. he already has the children and the home and the woman...perhaps he feels "why fix it if it isn't broken" or something. I think the only way you'll get married is if you propose to him yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Personally, I don't see why a man would marry a woman who is already more or less a "wife" to him. I.e. he already has the children and the home and the woman...perhaps he feels "why fix it if it isn't broken" or something. I think the only way you'll get married is if you propose to him yourself... I agree. 10 years? He has gotten the "milk for free" for 10 yrs. What would be his motivation to marry you? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 Yeah, you get a ring if he marries you, and a contract saying he cant dump you out the blue, but what does he get that he doesnt have now? Link to post Share on other sites
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