long read letter to girl

[lattimershotgun]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t29411/15-1

 

That link is to my previous problem read up and see what this letter is about... the following letter is waht i want to send to my girl since she isnt talking ot me and avoiding my calls along with our mutual freinds bens calls. DO you think i am out of line jsut read previous link and then read this letter i am going to send to her. Keep in mind it has been two months... Keep in mind i have gotten her a christmas present and dropped it off at her house when she was at work. she called and thanked me and said it was very cute and she loved it. but no tlaking since then at all.

 

Dear ****,

This is long so bear with me. Ok I am writing this because this is the only way to get a hold of you… I just woke up and I was thinking about things all last night so here is how it goes. There shouldn’t be much for me to think about at all really, in fact I should be comfortable with all of this but you have given me no reason to be comfortable with this. At the very beginning of this situation I didn’t call you anymore then normal, we used to call each other like 5 times a day then all of a sudden u got grumpy and stopped calling me and I continued to call. You then said I was smothering you and you had **** to take care of in your life and you needed to get through the next few weeks. So we just needed a little space, at first I was reluctant, I admit I wasn’t easy to deal with I was not excepting of the fact u wanted space I took it personally. I figured since u came got your cds, didn’t want to kiss me, and acted weird around me, plus left my house super early all in that morning u came out to see me, u had already made up your mind and didn’t want to be with me anymore. I know I shouldn't have done that... my bad! But like a week or two after that I stopped calling as often and wanted to give you space but then I noticed that you never called me at all, (and at the beginning of this whole thing you said to be more flexible but you said u would still call me and maybe even come see me just not as routine like for a little bit while u were going through this trouble. You gave me the impression that after awhile we would start to see each other like we did during school.)

Ok so when I would call or IM you I would let all these thoughts build up in my head and I would snap and leave a message about how u were treating me like **** and you would then call back and say, “oh I am sorry but I just have so much going on”. I would then feel bad because I felt like I snapped for no reason and I would forgive you and apologize to you. My heart would always believe you and figure you just needed time but my logical part would think... something seems weird. My heart says to trust you and all but my brain says it feels like you are trying to give me the boot and not tell me and just hope I catch on and leave you alone. My heart says if that were the case, you would just flat out tell me you don’t have feelings like you once did for me if you didn’t want to be with me. So see I am sort of confused, I mean I do trust you very much and my heart believes everything you say but I have no reassurance, I mean I don’t even need to hear from you every single day or anything, I would just like to hear from ya like once every couple days even if it is just for 5 minutes to say hi and such. I call in spurts, I call for like 2 days straight then I don’t call for like 4 or 5 days. I usually don’t get a call back and if I do I feel like I really have to try to get that call. I feel like I am putting a ****load of effort into this, and it shouldn't be this hard. I can only imagine how hard things are but remember I am the good guy; I care that is why this confuses me so much. I don’t expect to see you right now, because the impression I got is things haven’t gotten better and there is something going on I don’t know about. Which is kind of how I took it the other day when you said you had some stuff to do before we could hangout again. So that is all fine and dandy, Tino will still be here for you if that is what you want, but all I want is just a simple .. “I miss you”, or “I love you”. It seems if u felt that way, no matter how much stuff you were going through you would be able to say that like every once in awhile, that is all the reassurance I need. If I got that reassurance I wouldn’t call as much asking for it, I feel like I gotta keep pushing for you to say u miss me. I would be content with things if I just hear that to help ease my mind on the situation. Because now u don’t say that and you just treat me like a complete stranger, which isn’t often because we never talk at all really. I can’t expect you to be all lovey dovey because you are vulnerable but you aren’t at all the way you once were with me.

I am not mad or upset, or pissed at you at all babe, I would just like to be included a little more in this situation and not pushed completely out of your life. I was never given the impression a little bit of space meant completely out of your life, all of a sudden this time seems to be getting longer the a couple weeks but maybe something else happened I don’t know about, and that’s alright you cant control every event in your life. (So if you are bed ridden or sick or something and not able to call then forgive me cause I have no way of knowing that). I truly hope everything is alright. Everyone handles stuff differently so I don’t know how I would handle your situation, maybe I would kind of want to handle it on my own as well. But I do know I would still tell the people I cared about I missed them and stuff and keep in touch. Like I wondered if you were well enough to go out and have fun on new years with the girls... but then I think if you were well enough to do that it seems like you would have called me on new years. (Hell I wish could have given ya a big old kiss on new years when the ball dropped) That stuff I ponder and I just hope things get better for you. You know how I feel about you so please reply with some sort of answer to this, and realize I am trying my best to understand your situation. I would prefer to not even talk about the space thing and just let us naturally work each other back into each others lives and let stuff flow like normal, but I kind of have to talk about it now. I would really prefer for you to just do what u used to do when I would start to explain my feelings and just tell me “shut up” and then start to kiss me. I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you the same stuff over and over but I never get any real response, so I don’t know what else to do. A lot of people might have given up by now but I care too much to just say hell on it. I can’t just not think about you and forget about us. If I don’t get a reply I will just take it as goodbye, and I will move on with my life if that is what you really want.

[InLoKo]

I wouldn't send the letter. That is more pressure and heavy, which she doesn't need. Why not call her and ask her out for a drink? Friendly, no pressure, good intentions.

[lattimershotgun]

well she wont tell me what is wrong medically but she said she has some stuff seh has ot have done before we can hangout. So i assume surgery, she wont go out for a drink or to grab some lunch. She hasnt returned a call or even called me for over a week. that is what is so puzzling, she does that but says we will be together when all passes over. She says one thing and does another.

[InLoKo]

She's not necessarily saying one thing and doing another. Your timescales may be very different. If I were her, I would read your behaviour as being very selfish, impatient and thoughtless. Not very attractive. ("I want you now and I don't respect what you're going through, as long as I can have my own way and have you back"). She's told you what she wants. Trust her to come back to you when it's all sorted out.

[lattimershotgun]

Ok i dont send a letter, all i have done is call and leave little messages saying i HOpe all is well and i miss you and i am here for you. that dosnt sound out of reason right? if i jstu do that every now and then.

[dyermaker]

No. Break your attachment for your sake, not hers. Just cease contact, you will get over this. A little message here and there is counterproductive. The letter was never for her, it was to help you bring closure. Now shred it, pretend you sent it, and pretend there was no response. Hug a pillow and say goodbye to it, because the more you dwell, the more you are going to be disappointed, and the less you will move on.