btreyu Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 my wife and i have been married for 11 years we have 2 daughters and our share of problems . we we seperated for a short time last year and i was living in my car and hotels for a few months , i missed my wife terribly and we talked on the phone often . on the day before moter's day i called her and we talked and cried about how much we missed each other and loved each other and got off the phone on a very good note . the next night she called my cell and asked me to come stay the night at our house ,so i stopped by a store and bought her flowers and a mothers day card and went home . i parked in the driveway and let myself in and went to our bedroom and opened the door to find her having sex with a friend of mine that i thought was helping me through this hard time . i let him walk out and did nothing violent after he was gone i punced the wall and was so confussed on why she would have me come home and see that . she was laughing at me and told me i forced her to do it , that i have to live with it because it was my fault . when we seperated it was because we fought so much about her spending habits and i could not stand the fighting anymore . i thought it best us be apart rather our girls see us fight so much. i don't see how what she did is my fault . it kills me , i see it in my head always , it is not like i heard about it i seen it with my eyes , the pain is to much. we have gotten back together and we are trying to fix our marriage , i can't see a life with out her but life with her and this memory are so hard . i talked to my friend she had sex with and his story is so diffrent from hers , her story is hard to believe because it is nothing we had done together in 12 yeas of having sex but his story of the night is more painful to believe if true but way closer to me and my wifes first time together , i do not know whow to believe she swears he is lieing about everything . i have trouble trusting my wife now and i want to so bad , but i catch he in lies like saying she had to work overtime but there is no overtime pay on her check , telling me that i need to go out with my friends and not to come home unless i call first , i found condoms hidden in the hood of a sweat shirt in our closet i don't know what to do why is this happening to me Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 She treats you cruelly, and has no regard for your feelings. Whether or not you can make it work is also her decision, and it's looking like she's made it. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 It is NOT your fault that she was having sex with someone else. That is a decision that she made herself and there is no way to justify it as your fault. I know you are hurting - but she has no regard for your feelings at all. You need to split with her for your own sake. Make sure you stay in your kids lives - go for custody if you want and if she is making more $$ than you - then sue her for alimony. Some dads do get custody and child support and alimony now. You have a case since you can produce the guy she was with. Whatever problems you have in your marriage - you did not force her to cheat on you and it's childish, selfish and pathetic that she would try to twist things around to make you feel guilty about it. I am mad for you about this! Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Someone with that kind of intention, to intentionally have you come home and walk in on her macking your friend, after mis-leading you, luring you with the potential of getting back together is a mean, cruel hearted person and a shoddy character at most. This woman has problems, and what comes around goes around. She will get hers in time. I would be in pure disgust at this woman. Heck, I wouldn't even call her a woman. If I was you, I would cut off all chances of you getting back together with her ever again. Those actions are unforgivable. Marriage is a sacred bond, not some concept to screw around with when things aren't going well. "we have gotten back together and we are trying to fix our marriage , i can't see a life with out her but life with her and this memory are so hard" you are having cognitive dissonance about your relationship with this woman, in other words, youre scared to be alone, but also you wouldn't mind sacrificing yourself to be treated this way just to have "someone" there beside you. Well this "someone" isn't WORTH IT. C Link to post Share on other sites
bryanp Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hello, You would have to be out of your mind to stay with this woman. She manipulates you to come home after telling you how much she loves you to see her screwing a friend of yours in your bed and then laughs and tells you it is your fault. You would have to be self-loathing and masochistic to stay with such a sadistic low class woman like this. She is toxic to you and will destroy what is left of your self-respect. Her actions are the ultimate in disrespect and humiliation toward you. What a evil person to do such a thing to you. Get out, move on and never look back. See an attorney at once. She is mentally ill and I am afraid you would have to be mentally ill to stay with her. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Originally posted by bryanp See an attorney at once. Bump on that. Don't let on that anything is wrong. Keep things going for a few more days while you speak with an attorney, and than make the sky fall on her. Get the kids, get the house, get everything you want and never look back. God, she horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
bicylejunk Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 tHIS SITUATION SUCKS. SHE SUCKS. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND MAKE SURE THE KIDS DON'T SUFFER. Link to post Share on other sites
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