I Was Planning To Be Married, And Now I Have No Idea What I Have?

[johnnywinner]

HI, MY NAME IS JOHNNY{WINNER},I am in a 4 year relationship. It is now a 2 year long distance relationship. I love my girlfriend very much. IN FACT , i want to marry her. She has wanted to marry me for 3 years 1/2. But, due to different reasons it was not possible. Well, now I have been asking for the pasrt year and she has been wanting to. OK. SHE LIVES OVERSEAS. My thing is that 8 weeks ago, I was busy wirh her planning out our wedding plans and about buying a house. She was giving her views and opinions. Now she comes out with this yesterday. She has not seen me in 2 years, eventhough, i talk to her everyday by phone for 2 to 3 hours. She saysd that she is not sure if i have changed and am different as a person, because she loves johnny of 2 yearsago. She will not promise me anything. In fact, she will not even say we are in a serious relationship now. She says i do not want to promise you that i will marry and not know. She may come here in june, but she says do not hold me to it, that it means marriage. I need to see you and then we will see. I have been thinking on going to europe with a ring in hand and thus, propose in a romantic fashion. Is it that she wants me to prove my love? We lived together for one year and have been in a relationship for 4, and she says" i do not know how you are now Maybe you changed your personality". i am always the same and my feelings towards her are always the same. I HAVE EXPRESSED THIS TO HER. She has alot of friends and they travel alot and have a fun and easy lifestyle. Could it be she does not want to leave this new way of life and her new job.? She says she loves me.I really am sitting here perplexed by all thisz. I really do not know what to do? happy new year, johnnywinner

[dyermaker]

Don't use marriage as a way to keep her, if she's asking for you to back off a little, you don't want to obligate her to something she's not ready for. Is she possibly right? Should you spend more time together (together together, not on the phone) before marriage?

[Errol]

LDR's take a lot of work and commitment. But you said that she has a new job and new friends and a new lifestyle. It sounds like she does not want that part to change. She may still have some feelings for you, but is projecting the change in herself onto you so that she will feel less guilty about breaking up.

 

If she has changed and no longer wants to be with you all you can do is let her go and get back to dating. You'll find someone close by to build a relationship with. Don't let her use you and keep your emotions in turmoil just so she can decide if she wants you or not. That's cold.