Kaja Posted June 28, 2000 Share Posted June 28, 2000 We've been together 4 years, (lived together practically all 4), and it's been the best time of my life. We've plaaned on getting married in a few years, when we've got our finances at least in a little better shape then they are now. We love eachother, we communicate (well he's a guy, so it's mostly I communicate, he nods , we are there for eachother. But lately, the smallest things have just been driving me nuts. Maybe it's just 4 years of "have you seen my (fill in the blank)? or maybe it's the inability to flush the toilet that's finally getting the best of me, but I just cannot deal with it anymore. I know that it's always going to be something no matter who you're with, I know that I have to look at the big picture and not be petty, but I'm ready to just tear my hair out. And the best part is, when I try to tell him to flush the toilet, he gets upset at HOW I'm asking (if there's a nice way to ask someone for the 8 millionth time to PLEASE flush the damn toilet, or at least close the freakin' lid, I wish someone would let me in on it!) And then I get the "you're always nagging me" stuff, when this is like my only request! I don't mind cleaning the house (since I get to pick out all the stuff that goes in it), but is this ONE thing so much to ask?!?!?! So today I finally blew up about the toilet, and I really blew up: "That's it! I can't take it anymore! You're driving me crazy! I can't live like this anymore!!" and he's like "I'm a slob, I'll start looking for an apartment today" So guess who feels guilty now? Is he trying to drive me insane? Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Posted June 28, 2000 Share Posted June 28, 2000 Everyone makes a decision on what is going to upset them and what is not. We consciously decide if an unflushed toilet, or whatever, is going to drive us nuts or if we should just flush it or deal with it calmly. If your guy is making a lot of decisions to upset himself, it sounds like there is a real problem. Sane people like to be happy. It sounds like there may be many other stresses in his life. Or maybe there are issues in the relationship that haven't been discussed and resolved. The two of you need to have a really good talk. Taking a vacation from each other is not the answering. Making a conscious decision to be nice and kind to yourselves by not getting upset about little things, in my opinion, is part of the solution. Find out what is bothering him if you have to talk all day. Then help him resolve the issue or issues and move on to a happier relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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