How long did you chat before meeting in person?

[Chitowngirl]

I've met many men over the years via the internet, a few were different than their personalities they portrayed online, but most were cool, attractive guys with potential.

Out of all those internet guys, TWO wanted to meet ASAP, and BOTH were long distance; I lived in Florida and they live in Chicago. I felt uneasy about meeting either so quickly and them being so eager to fly to me, but I said what the heck and met them. Both were angry jerks who I wished I never met.

So, from your experience, has it been better to wait a longer period of time chatting, talking on the phone, etc, before meeting, or have you rushed into it to "not waste any time"?

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

My boyfriend is from USA, Im from UK.We started talking online in August '09, by October '09 he had booked his flight to the UK to meet me in December last year, it went really well and he is coming again on Friday! So it was 4 months of chatting before we met in person.I had never met anyone online prior to him despite an abundance of interest from guys, I was just never keen enough to persue anyone else but with this man I just had a feeling. I cant explain why but it just felt so right.

[curiousnycgirl]

I met my ex online, and quite a few before him. I have never subscribed to the idea that you should engage in long drawn out online discussions before meeting. I found that when that happened I would build a view in my mind about the guy and he would never live up to it.

 

In my opinion it is much better to meet quickly, in a safe, neutral place (like a Starbucks) rather than hiding behind the computer screen.

 

Having said that I don't believe I ever met anyone online from another city - but I'm willing to bet I'd have the same reaction. If they want to fly in to meet you, you have no obligation to more than the first meeting.

 

Good luck.

[Els]

I have never waited longer than necessary (based on schedules, etc), but that always ended up to be longer than 3-4 months anyway.

[SuburbanOblivion]

5 months between the start of daily talks and meeting IRL.

[FabulousLadee]

I met him online in late March-early April and we met in person the first weekend in May..so i'd say it was just roughly a month in time.

[carhill]

About ten days. We live about 40 minutes from each other by car. A couple of LS 'friendships' went on for a few months before I offered to bring those online encounters into real life. Declined and, more curiously, the posters disappeared, both fairly longtime posters.

 

I don't like electrons, but thoroughly enjoy pressing flesh. Friendships and relationships live and develop in person in the real world IMO.

[Shindig]

Ten days is about optimal. I find I projected too much onto people if I wanted longer than that to meet them after meeting online.

[carhill]

Oh, since this is more LDR, my stbx and I lived about 60 miles apart when we met and chatted (e-mailed) online and talked on the phone for about three weeks before meeting in person. Only other LDR was with a lady overseas. IIRC, we corresponded about a month before I made plans to visit and did visit within three months. No definitive love connection was made but I remained in contact with her for a number of years and she visited my stbx and I subsequently a couple of times.

[Tommyj]

I met her on one of the social sites. We talked for awhile in email and then started talking on messenger using the web cam.

I had talked to women that were only a couple of hours from me and we decided it was too far.

I met my now wife shes from Brazil and I live in Missouri. I think the best thing you can do is get a webcam and talk all the time. We talked for about months before she came to Missouri. She staryed with me for two weeks. Two months after that I went down and stayed with her November until the 21st of Dec.

When you do nothing except talk you are going to find out a lot about each other.

We got married there in Brazil and now we are living in Missouri.

[Tropic]

We didn't meet on a dating site, but we met online. We talked and saw each other on webcam for around 1 year and 7 months before meeting.

[aerogurl87]

With my ex boyfriend we talked online for about 3 months before meeting in person. I wasn't disappointed because we talked on our webcams all the time, so I was pretty sure what I'd be getting myself into.

 

Then with my new guy, we met about three weeks ago (and I swear it does not seem like it's been that long) on a social networking site. He was supposed to just be a friend to pass the time with since I found out he lives all the way in Canada. But one thing led to another, and well now I'm planning to go visit him in late May for 2 weeks.

[KikiW]

Four months between the time we really started getting to know each other to the first face to face meeting. I flew to him, paid my own airfare and the hotel - didn't want him to think I "owed" him because he paid for stuff or have initial access to the room in case things went sour. I am glad I took the precautions, because it made me feel more at ease, but there was no need - we're living together now.

 

I think we waited an appropriate amount of time to meet. I actually needed some prompting from a third party to make the move to see him because I wasn't sure we should meet that quickly, but it was perfect timing for us really.

[Ingenue]

I met my current partner on a dating site. We exchanged emails and telephone calls for about 2 weeks before meeting in person. Part of the wait was that it was the holiday season so scheduling was difficult, despite that we both lived in the same city. For me, I prefer to wait at least a week because I think I can get a reasonable feel of the person through email/telephone to supplement my reading of the person face-to-face.

 

*Disregard my reply since this is the LD forum. My partner and I are now LD. In the past, when I did have a LDR, I've waited as much as 5 months before meeting face to face. I simply could not get a good read on the person and I have no desire to meet any person that I'm not fully comfortable with.*

Edited February 23, 2010 by Ingenue

[bettedaviseyes]

With my ex we talked online and on the phone for about a year before making plans to meet up. We officially called off the relationship early into this year, but we still got plans to meet each other as friends and whatnot. Since we didn't have webcams back when we were still considered in a relationship, that made things difficult. Sometimes one wouldn't answer the phone and/or text, sometimes one wouldn't be online. It made things so hard where it came to the point where trust was being the issue, and one would worry about each other if they're ok, or if they still loved one another. Having webcams now does help, and I'm expecting to see him this summer, whilst just being friends. Goodluck.

 

Ps: I think it also depends on how far you are from each other too. Sometimes the distance makes it a bit difficult on how soon you meet. (Cost of travel, visa, etc)

[XKatieX]

About a year.

 

We were offical in December of 2006. During this time we played an online game together, never actually seeing each others faces except in pictures. We met in person for the first time in August 2007.

 

I believe its better to wait at least a couple of months, this gives you plenty of time to get to know the person, and so that when you do meet in person you know what to expect and its not awkward with them.

[Sivok]

6 months for me. We started out talking online as friends and in December things between us got more involved. We met for the first time earlier this month. It went great, but the distance is alot harder after that initial meet

[Stung]

I think it was about nine months. I was living in another state, and we weren't entirely romantic, although we were intrigued by each other...we didn't really believe in LDR and we thought we were too old and practical to fall for anyone we only knew over the internet so we were trying to just be friends online without getting unrealistically emotionally involved, but we were in IM every day and later, on the phone all the time so I don't know who we thought we were kidding. He wanted to meet earlier but I was chicken and didn't think anything real could come of it. Eventually, I was going to be in his area for a week anyway, so I agreed to meet up to see a show. That first date somehow lasted for three days, then it turned into a 6-month LDR where we flew back and forth constantly, then I moved in with him, and now we're married and have a 1-year-old son. :bunny: