Still Hurting Badly.

[Blue6]

3 months and some change later and I am still pretty bent out of shape about losing the relationship. It lasted just about a year before LD ensued and ended after 2 months of LD trial. I hate that I still find the need to talk about it after I have exhausted all my energy for the last 90 days going over it again and again and again. I am concerned that my inability to heal will continue for a quite a while as I did not get closure at the time of break up and when I surprising ran into her a month ago and got the same cold shoulder. I find myself drifting to a year ago when I was as happy as I have ever been because I was with the one girl who made feel things I never felt before. This feeling happened naturally, I wasn't yearning for it. Simply put, I don't know how to move forward and get over someone I wasn't done loving and evidentially still do.

[Panov]

Well for everyone it's different, it can take a few weeks or it can take a few months.. it's normal. I really wouldn't understand your situation but the best I can tell you is that you should move on, go out with friends and meet new people. To be honest, girls are complicated, they can't decide, and most of time they're moody. I know it's hard to move on, but if it's over, then it should be like that.. even though you have felt things you never felt before there might be another girl out there that will give you even better feelings.

 

I guess I'm just speaking my mind, I have a weird-ish situation and I'm not listening to myself.

[The Paper Knight]

What do you need closure over? If there are more details or you feel you did something wrong then please post them.

 

It is normal to be depressed after a relationship. I think it takes the same time as the duration of the relationship to completely move on.

[Meaplus3]

3 months and some change later and I am still pretty bent out of shape about losing the relationship. It lasted just about a year before LD ensued and ended after 2 months of LD trial. I hate that I still find the need to talk about it after I have exhausted all my energy for the last 90 days going over it again and again and again. I am concerned that my inability to heal will continue for a quite a while as I did not get closure at the time of break up and when I surprising ran into her a month ago and got the same cold shoulder. I find myself drifting to a year ago when I was as happy as I have ever been because I was with the one girl who made feel things I never felt before. This feeling happened naturally, I wasn't yearning for it. Simply put, I don't know how to move forward and get over someone I wasn't done loving and evidentially still do.

 

If we all had the answer to this question none of us would ever be hurting. Look, it takes each and everyone of us our own time and methods to heal. Don't get hung up on how long it will take you, just put your energy and focus into getting past the relationship. Shift your focus onto something else.. distraction can work like a charm. You'll get there.. little steps.

 

Mea:)

Edited February 18, 2010 by Meaplus3
to edit a word.

[carvidep]

My ex was my first relationship and my first real heart break. I thought it would take me forever to get over it. But I decided to spend more time on me and things that I want from life. I picked up swing dancing, which really boosted my self esteem. I met a lot of new people through it and gained a lot of confidence that I feld I'd lost. After about 3 months I was completely over him.

 

Now I'm with someone who I know truly cares for me and gives me feelings I never would have dreamed of having with my ex!

 

The most important thing is making yourself happy. Unfortunately that needs to be without her. But you can do it, I promise! *hugs!*

[nowomanocry]

"Simply put, I don't know how to move forward and get over someone I wasn't done loving and evidentially still do. "

 

That is my problem as well mate and the most important side of being dumped. I have had relationships before and got over them in a couple of weeks except one while I was 20ish...(I am 43 y.o now)

 

I get the feeling this time that is it - 2 weeks without talking to her, I miss her and everything we had terribly... every corner here in Istanbul has a souvenir of us and can't get rid of it anywhere I go.

 

"The power of love

A force from above

Cleaning my soul

Flame on burn desire

Love with tongues of fire

Purge the soul

Make love your goal

 

I'll protect you from the hooded claw

Keep the vampires from your door

When the chips are down I'll be around

With my undying, death-defying

Love for you"

If it still hurts, that is life and sad it ended but good on ya that you found real love mate... If you get over it in anytime frame you should ask yourself "was it real love?"