calithin83 Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hello people, gosh my bf of 3 years were arguing over something cos i told him he was annoying me cos hes always acting whatever with me and he told me that maybe it is his fault..cos he doesnt know if he loves me...i guess that if u dont know if u love someone after 3 years then ure most likely completely stupid! i dunno why i deal with his ****.....i really wanna break up with him, yet it seems so hard to do...but i dont see myself wasting my time anymore, ive cried too much and ive put too much energy into him and our relationship...he barely tries with me and now that i know that he doesnt love me but just cares about me then its really pushing me to the edge..i REALLY REALLY wanna let go...but for some reason every time he calls or i think about him..i end up giving in...someone please gimme some advice onw hat to do and how to remain strong..cos hes nto worth it right? if not he wouldnt just wanna give up nor say that he dosent know if he loves me..that just sux!!!!!!!!! also he told me that he doesnt know if he loves me cos im his first girl and he would have to see what its like to be with someone else to know if he reallyu loves me:( Link to post Share on other sites
brenbren Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hi, It does really hurt when you love the love of your life and they don't love you back if that is the case. YOu are only young I know you already heard that. but it could get worse. it could get worse and he has affairs or degrades you in front of friends. Look for someone who wants you. Do something for yourself and concentrate on you. Improve your life and learn to love yourself and he will or he won't but someone will notice you and bring back the confidence you need. Life is too short to stress. Hang in there and another thing you could do is sit him down with no distractions and give him a heart to heart. Conversation and communication is very important in a relationship. You'll learn as you go. take care and let us know how you go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted January 7, 2004 Author Share Posted January 7, 2004 Well its weird...cos i honestly felt that he loved me, but 2 days ago when he said that he also mentioned that there was no spark, and that he doesnt get excited to see me like before...i dont know what to do..but isnt it normal to lose the spark after 3 years, can i bring it back by just not seeing him often??? i love him alot..but if hes not happy with me and wants to see what else is outthere..i guess i have no choice but to let him do his own thing..... Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Calithin83 Quick start going out and meet new guys. hang out with the girls. try to keep yourself busy. join a yoga class it sounds like he doesn't know what to expect from a long term relationship, due to a lack of experience. this is not good. he is assuming there is more to love, and thinks he can find it elsewhere. most likely he will experience dating and find that he loved and lost the best thing in his life. YOU if you don't let go, he may eventually hold resentment and despise for you, and feel held back from some wonderful fantasy he has in his head. you can't control this. the pain will go away, the nausea will go away. give it 4 months, tell yourself it will get better in 4 months.I can assure you this. don't have contact with him, don't call him, and don't return his calls(cause he will call). take extra care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 I'm sorry, but I don't agree. I'm a guy,and I've been with my girl for two years. We had a big fight over 'the fact that I was unsure about my feelings towards her after about a year. Ask if he's sure about the things you already livde out together, I bet he'll say yes. Don't throw three years away because of a sense of pride. Can you honestly say you NEVER in three years doubted wether 'he was it for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Btw, this does NOT mean you have to grab a hold of him and never let go. In that situation, try to keep a distance, but don't go seeing other people cause that would close the door. What did it for me was that my girl acted a bit like she didn't care... I didn't know what happened to me and all of the sudden I found myself going after her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 well im trying to not care anymore, cos he actually had broken up with me on aug 23 and then we got back on the end of september 2003...and he was cool at the beginning with me cos i was indiffererent and kinda not being so clingy and loving..but ever since i started to show my feelings for him again like "youre the best" "i love you so much", "im so glad we're bacl"...he started to act weird again, like he thinks hes all that or something, i guess i give him too much confidence..but ive been trying to keep my distance as much as i can, i saw him on monday....and today is wednesday..and i dont wanna see him til he insists to see me, he really hasnt insisted so im not bringing it up.....its weird... part of me just really wants to let go cos i think i deserve attention, respect and love, and if i dont get it from him..then i rather just get it from myself and leave him...i dunno.... only time will tell... if u give a guy too much attention he acts whatever...but if u act distant and careless all of a sudden hes there, men give me some tips on how i should act with him? what shopuld i say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted January 9, 2004 Author Share Posted January 9, 2004 My boyfriend is now being much sweeter and telling me that he didnt mean saying that he didnt know if he loved me, that he was just mad at me (we were arguing), nwo he tells me he loves me and i believe it cos i feel it:)....anyways thats all:}~ Link to post Share on other sites
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