OWoman Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 hey guys, I was glad to see this forum as I really need some advice. I met this guy about a month ago..he was everything I ever wanted in a man...smart, funny, attractive, respectful and just a all around good guy...until he told me he was married.I never caught on to it because he always took me out and we talked on the phone everyday all day... At that point we had been talking about a month or so and it broke my heart so bad I cried. he kept apologizing for not telling me and we talked for almost 5 hours about the situation.He doesnt talk about his marriage situation all he says is that hes not happy with his living situation and that people change.He says he told me because he didnt want me to get too attached and didnt wanna lie or hurt me anymore but he also says he wants to keep it going with me because he likes me and likes alot about me. During my hurting period I told him to leave me alone and that we couldnt continue...he called and txtd me the next day after that so I know he has feelings.. He wants us to sleep together,hang out occassionally, and talk to eachother on a regular basis and basically be support systems for eachother..as that was what we were doing before I found this out..he never tried to sleep with me we havent slept together yet and he was always so patient and never pressured me to do it.. I dont know what to do because I have so many emotions towards him and I feel for him and vice versa..what should I do?? I dont wanna let him go... You have "so many emotions towards him" - bad sign. You're already attached. Get out before you get any further in. As are fine for people who can compartmentalise - some fun on the side, nothing serious, the rest of life continues as before. But your post suggests you're not one of those - he's "everything you ever wanted in a man". Except, available to the extent you want him to be. Sure, you can bump uglies sometime. Occasionally he might even buy you a drink down the pub. Oh, and you can listen to his problems - especially about how his M totally sucks, how trapped he feels, how he wishes he could offer you more... Because that's the sum total of what he's offering you. At least he's being honest about that (unlike about his being M). But if you're wanting more - and your post suggests strongly that you are - then that's not going to be enough. You'll settle for that initially, hoping he'll come round and offer you more - but he won't. He can't. He's already told you he's not going to. You have an offer on the table, and you can accept it or reject it - but it's not an offer open to negotiation - and it's especially not an offer open to renegotiation down the line. You can have your heart broken a little bit now - or you can have your heart shattered later. You have that choice. Make it wisely. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
sleepysue Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 It only gets harder the longer you are with him. If he never leaves his wife at some point you will be devastated because you are obviously a loving person. The less time you spend with him the better. If something is wrong with his marriage and he truly sees something better with you, it will happen...after he divorces her. But don't wait for that. This guy is in the best place ever, 2 women and he doesn't have to lie to you. You deserve a guys undying attention. Don't wait for him. You've already hurt once, let that push you to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 .. I dont know what to do because I have so many emotions towards him and I feel for him and vice versa..what should I do?? I dont wanna let him go... Wow, you may want to reverse the title of your thread.. Link to post Share on other sites
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