Superdude87 Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Alright. So recently started talking to this girl a few weeks ago and instantly there were sparks. The more I get to know her, I've realized several things, some good, some not so good, and some i just dont understand. 1) She is EXTREMELY attractive, hands down the most attractive girl I've ever dated and there is a very mutual physical attraction here. 2) She is relatively laid back, easy going chick...although has a party history in high school, she has grown up and moved on and doesn't need that life anymore. She's 24 now, working 2 jobs, lives with parents and seems pretty content with a simple, normal life. Usually chicks who look like her, I perceive as party animals, crazy, high maintaince bitches, but this one seems pretty genuine. 3) Me and her come from COMPLETELY different families, mine very blue collar, her's very white collar. She comes from money, a very conservative christian upbringing, and i come from a middle class, disfunctional alcoholic family and am now out of my own, apart from most of my family and have been since I was 19 (I'm 22 now). 4) Me and her both agree I am different than the guys she usually dates, we can both admit and see this, but she keeps saying that "there's just SOMETHING about you I can't out my finger on and it's extremely interesting to me". <----I like this There is def. chemistry here, it's just that it seems like we're SO different in many ways that it couldn't possibly work...but who knows? I'm trying not to overanalyze it, but it's been 2 weeks and there are many things pointing to the fact that she is getting more and more attracted to me and wants to see me...alot. I know "dating out of your league" is purely BS and money, status, and stuff like that should be 2nd to two people simply having a good connection, so hopefully it's all in my head and there's just something there that we "cant put our finger on" and cant be explained? Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 So long as you don't put all of your eggs in one basket, and you handle being dumped fine, go ahead. Women have this tendency to change their minds, a lot. she might like you a lot now. And in two days, she might think more about laundry lint than you... If you are fine with that, then proceed. If not, don't. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 She's prbably trying to piss off her parents. LOL! Actually I've been there. Dated a really hot chick whose family owned half the city. That lasted a few weeks then she was dateing daddy's business partner's son. But it was fun. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Who are the types of guys she "usually dates"? Are they bad boys or nice christian boys? Just live in the moment with her and try not to over-analyze everything. It's good to have that aura of mystery around you because women love men that are tough to figure out as well as project confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 (edited) Who are the types of guys she "usually dates"? Are they bad boys or nice christian boys? Just live in the moment with her and try not to over-analyze everything. It's good to have that aura of mystery around you because women love men that are tough to figure out as well as project confidence. According to her she usually dates military guys. She at a point in her life where she wants to settle down relatively soon and likes the security of being a military wife. But according to some of her friends she ends up with slumbags who treat her like **** and she's attracted to me because I'm different. I'm definitely closer to nice guy, but I'm not a doormat and definitely not someone to be walked all over. Yes, I'm confident and secure with myself and have been through alot of pretty crazy experiences in my life that allow me to see the world a little differently than most and have a pretty unique personality...thus, the aura of mystery? Edited February 19, 2010 by Superdude87 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallace1 Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I wouldn't worry about being from "different types of families," but you've got to just go with the flow. Many of my female friends come from extremely wealthy families, and a good portion of them simply don't care about that stuff. However, another good portion of them went through a parental backlash phase where they'd date guys to anger the rents as Phineas suggested. Either way, it'll be tough to tell, so just play it cool and whatever happens happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 I wouldn't worry about being from "different types of families," but you've got to just go with the flow. Many of my female friends come from extremely wealthy families, and a good portion of them simply don't care about that stuff. However, another good portion of them went through a parental backlash phase where they'd date guys to anger the rents as Phineas suggested. Either way, it'll be tough to tell, so just play it cool and whatever happens happens. Yeah man absolutely, she seems to have a pretty good relationship with her folks according to her. I guess I'm meeting them tonight already...we've hung out twice, once with some friends and last night one on one. So it seems kinda soon but whatever. I'm pretty go with the flow about most things, and honestly I feel like I'm giving off the "I could care less" attitude b/c I'm recently out of a BAD breakup and am NOT sweating this whatever happens...maybe me giving off the vibe of "whatever" is drawing her to me more? This is the first time I feel like I've mastered that fine line of being interested and indifferent at teh same time, and NOT being too available. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Sounds okay to me. I only question would be your goals for future financial security. Are they in alignment, i.e education, careers etc.? What do you do for a living? Not the most important thing but should be taken into consideration since you want to be able to support one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Sounds okay to me. I only question would be your goals for future financial security. Are they in alignment, i.e education, careers etc.? What do you do for a living? Not the most important thing but should be taken into consideration since you want to be able to support one another. Oh absolutely we see eye to eye on future living situations, family, money, career, etc...the only problem is that she is a bit older and already in her career and is ready to settle down, whereas I'm currently in school and wont be done for a few years. I know she likes military guys for the reasons of being taken care of and being secure, and I will definitely be able to provide those things but just not right now, unfortunately. I want money, family, career, and a comfortable life, no doubt...it's just a work in progress right now Link to post Share on other sites
SuburbanOblivion Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Try to relax and enjoy it. She likes you, and that is all that matters. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Try to relax and enjoy it. She likes you, and that is all that matters. Agreed with SO. Don't over think it, just enjoy your time with her - but be careful, you just might keep on finding yourself with women out of your league and then you'll never be the same! Link to post Share on other sites
Pleco Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 You should be fine. My boyfriend comes from a very wealthy family and was living at home when I met him. He'll be done with college in a few months and already has a job lined up for him. I come from a more middle class family, moved out when I was 17 and still in high school so college is taking a bit longer for me. But we now live together and everything is pretty smooth. The thing that worked in our favor was that, like another poster said, we both had the same GOALS in mind as to what we eventually want (i.e. the importance of a college degree and financial stability). He's just a bit farther ahead than I am and had a little more help. But we've got plenty of time to get all our ducks in a row and we have fun in the mean time! No big thing. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Just be careful about the disparity in how you both communicate love and appreciation for each other. Regardless of socioeconomic conditions, if the two of you speak different languages of love, relationships don't last. Link to post Share on other sites
sullysteve Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Blue collar, white collar, who cares if there's attraction? Welcome to the bigs. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 If she usually dates military guys, are you a military guy? If she usually dates guys that treat her like crap, then will you treat her like crap? My advice is don't get too excited yet. You don't match the types of guys she's been dating, that's not usually a positive indicator. Most attractive people know they can play the field. Her joy over you can turn into yawning in a heartbeat (I've seen it and lived it) if she meets an over sized, linebacker, army guy with 15 tattoos she has the hots for. Take it slow and brace yourself for heartbreak and you'll be ok . If she ends up sticking around, then congratulations, if not, you already saw it coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocke Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 If i were you...I would live it day by day and see where it gets me...since it is to early to start questioning it... Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Alright. So recently started talking to this girl a few weeks ago and instantly there were sparks. The more I get to know her, I've realized several things, some good, some not so good, and some i just dont understand. 1) She is EXTREMELY attractive, hands down the most attractive girl I've ever dated and there is a very mutual physical attraction here. 2) She is relatively laid back, easy going chick...although has a party history in high school, she has grown up and moved on and doesn't need that life anymore. She's 24 now, working 2 jobs, lives with parents and seems pretty content with a simple, normal life. Usually chicks who look like her, I perceive as party animals, crazy, high maintaince bitches, but this one seems pretty genuine. 3) Me and her come from COMPLETELY different families, mine very blue collar, her's very white collar. She comes from money, a very conservative christian upbringing, and i come from a middle class, disfunctional alcoholic family and am now out of my own, apart from most of my family and have been since I was 19 (I'm 22 now). 4) Me and her both agree I am different than the guys she usually dates, we can both admit and see this, but she keeps saying that "there's just SOMETHING about you I can't out my finger on and it's extremely interesting to me". <----I like this There is def. chemistry here, it's just that it seems like we're SO different in many ways that it couldn't possibly work...but who knows? I'm trying not to overanalyze it, but it's been 2 weeks and there are many things pointing to the fact that she is getting more and more attracted to me and wants to see me...alot. I know "dating out of your league" is purely BS and money, status, and stuff like that should be 2nd to two people simply having a good connection, so hopefully it's all in my head and there's just something there that we "cant put our finger on" and cant be explained? DUDE! Like, then you should totally marry her! 2 weeks srsly. Oh em gee you're perfect for each other! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Blue collar, white collar, who cares if there's attraction? Welcome to the bigs. I agree with SullySteve.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 Sweet. Thanks for all the advice you guys, much appreciate it. And YES, I may be overthinking it. Really trying not to and honestly I appear to be freaking out more in my post than in real life. Just having fun really, I guess it's just in my personality to think ahead, prepare, have everything lined up and know what's going on/what COULD happen. It's a blessing and a curse. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 According to her she usually dates military guys. She at a point in her life where she wants to settle down relatively soon and likes the security of being a military wife. really? strange..who marries someone in the military for the "security"? What kind of security? She might not be that way "up there", OP. If she is all that she wouldn't not want to be in a relationship for the "security"-presumablty, financial in nature because she would have her own thing going..don't you think? I do not think that the difference between you and her is necessarily about having and not having money....maybe it is the family dynamics...I think she might find you attractive because you are "different"-your experiences are different from hers. I say go slow..tread carefully... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 really? strange..who marries someone in the military for the "security"? What kind of security? She might not be that way "up there", OP. If she is all that she wouldn't not want to be in a relationship for the "security"-presumablty, financial in nature because she would have her own thing going..don't you think? I do not think that the difference between you and her is necessarily about having and not having money....maybe it is the family dynamics...I think she might find you attractive because you are "different"-your experiences are different from hers. I say go slow..tread carefully... Good point sir. Good point. Military wives probably have it kinda ****ty compared to some, especially if it means constant deployment and relocating. I think she's talking strictly financial security, being part of a big "family" (of military men & wives). Maybe, I don't know. Haven't really talked to her a ton about it, cause honestly it's not important right now. Like everyone else has said, if she's into me and it goes somewhere...cool. If not, cool. It's fun and we're clicking great right now so there's really nothing else to say. Link to post Share on other sites
calazhage Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 I agree with Tami.. You make it sound like she is out of your league partly because she comes from money,and is really hot so she can get a rich guy, but she wants a military guy for security? Security as in health care and a few grand a month in income? I mean marrying a military guy (who will be sent to war) seems only like it offers a tiny amount of financial security at a low level. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 Like everyone else has said, if she's into me and it goes somewhere...cool. If not, cool. It's fun and we're clicking great right now so there's really nothing else to say.Stick to this attitude, especially since you're going to be meeting her parents. As for the military thing, my out-of-my-arse guess would be that it's a form of protection. A military guy has been trained to defend through physical means, if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superdude87 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 I agree with Tami.. You make it sound like she is out of your league partly because she comes from money,and is really hot so she can get a rich guy, but she wants a military guy for security? Security as in health care and a few grand a month in income? I mean marrying a military guy (who will be sent to war) seems only like it offers a tiny amount of financial security at a low level. Yeah you're probably right about the hot thing. It's probably my subconscious and tiny little insecurities wondering what she see's in me when she can land a rich guy pretty easily probably. Don't get me wrong I'm very confident and secure with myself. I know I'm going places in life and right now I'm doing all I can to make that happen. And seriously, it's been 2 weeks haha. I shouldn't be ring shopping just yet Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 And seriously, it's been 2 weeks haha. I shouldn't be ring shopping just yet two weeks already and no ring, yet? man, you are slow.... Link to post Share on other sites
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