I really like a lady in a bad situation

[George]

HI, I would appreciate some advice on this

 

I recently met a girl on the net, shes 21, has a full time job. She lives 45 min away, which is not a problem. We had talked on line, but mostly on the phone for a week and a half. I really like her, and she seems to really like me too. She has sent me email out of the blue saying how much she was looking forward to meeting me.

 

The day before we were going to meet, she found out she had to go on a business trip. She wrote me and said that she hoped i would still talk to her. I was understandably disspointed, but i totally understood. She came back on a Sunday, and said she would call me that night. I never heard from her for 2 days. Well yesterday i found out why.

 

On Sunday, her mother and little brother were in a bad car accident. Her brother had bad injuries, and she has been horribly upset. Her mom needs surgery to fix her face. She wrote me and said that she was going to have to help, and that she was sorry she didnt contact me sooner. She said that she couldnt afford to call me, since she had to help with bills. She said that she probably ruined what we were building.

 

i wrote her and told her i understood, that i was her friend, and that i would be there for her. That i didnt care if she couldnt call, and that would be there for her, and if she wanted to talk, she just needed to tell me and i would call, i like her for her, not her money.

 

Well she wrote me a very nice letter today and we chatted for a few minutes, she cant get much time at work. She really seems to want to go out with me, and we both really have a lot in common, and want the same out of a relationship. I really like her, we have not met yet, but i can sense there is something to this. I am not going to ask her out again for a while, just try to email and call her just to talk when she isnt busy.

 

I would like some advice, I really want to keep talking to her, she said that she really appreciates how caring I am, and for me to keep talking to her. How can I keep talking to her, yet not interfere, and give her space? I dont want to ruin this, yet I really enjoy talking to her, and I still want to meet her, and she still wants to meet me too.

 

Thank you for your help

[Randy]

First of all, I want to tell you this is my opinion, my feelings on the matter and I hope others will give you theirs.

 

Everything in your post points to the fact that there is some underlying reason she does not want to meet you in person. More than likely, it has something to do with misrepresentations she has made about herself.

 

That happens an awful lot online. While there a many men and women that are very honest, there are others that exagerate or "fudge" about their age, weight, beauty, handsomeness, type of job, marital status, etc.

 

What you are very fond of right now is an image of what you think she looks like and is all about. She knows that and may be terrified you will be disappointed or even pissed.

 

I think her first excuse about cancelling your meeting because a business trip came up was pretty lame. Then, she can't call because it costs too much money. A five minute call to a location 45 minutes away would be $1.25 in the worst of cases. And Email is totally free, yet she made no effort at either but used the excuse of having no money. I just don't buy it, pardon the pun.

 

If the deal was so special, you would have her phone number and be free to call her anytime. Either there is some reason you didn't call or you didn't have her number. Again, if she was really willing to meet with you, she certainly wouldn't have minded giving you her phone number.

 

Now that's just my take on this and I truly hope I'm dead wrong. But if she was really eager to meet you and had been very honest with you in all ways, the two of you would have met by now, I promise.

 

If the two of you lived farther from each other, I might think differently, but hell, I drive 45 minutes sometimes to take refuse to the city dump.

 

Again, this is simply my own take on this and I do hope I'm wrong. But I also hope you will hedge your bet on this girl and go to the mall and see if you can hook up with some chicks you like that you meet in person.