I am broken.

[LonelyTiger]

ps. my lawyer called to talk about monday, and said she spoke to my w's lawyer, who had this to pass on to me.

" I hope your client isn't looking for any sort of reconciliation, because that door is pretty much shut".

This day keeps getting better.

 

If I am posting too much, just tell me to shut up. Sorry, but of all people i think you guys "get" what's going on the most more than any other people, especially in my age group who aren't even married, or barely so themselves.

 

Keep posting Mikey, it's your thread, and most of us have been where you are now, so we do 'get' it.

 

I've had a read through your other threads and you are clearly 'hanging on for dear life' to what's left of your marriage.

 

That's exactly what I did. Right to the very end. I don't regret fighting that hard either because I wanted to know, if it was going to end, that I had done everything in my power to make it work. I even seriously considered getting a mutual friend to talk to my ex, just as you are, but I realised that would just push him further away and the 'mutual friend' is really his friend now - sometimes that's what happens.

 

You can keep on banging your head against this brick wall indefinitely but eventually you'll get fed up with the open wound that keeps bleeding and you'll want it to heal.

 

The thing is Mikey, you're the only one who can stop banging your head against that wall. Your wife may have created the wound in the first place but now she's gone. Other people can keep mopping the wound for you but you are the one who is in control of the head banging.

 

My situation was, I think fairly similar to yours. My husband left and he didn't want to come back. I don't know why he wasn't prepared to work on the marriage and it no longer matters. The only thing that worked for me was to take back the control.

 

It's the only power you have left in this situation Mikey. Take back the control. Get on with your life, without her. Easier said than done, believe me I know. But once you are feeling happier and getting on with your life, you will become more attractive to her again and she may sit up and take notice - and you may, or may not still be interested.

 

Even if she doesn't come back you'll be ok, because you will have moved on.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Mike!!!

 

Stop focusing on her! please for your own sanity. We all know why the marriage is ending. the message she sent with the lawyer was a cheapshot.

 

That wasnt called for. You greive my friend. Then you get right back up and start walking again. You need to remember what it was like when you was single. When you was independant. When you was a man who didnt take anything from anyone not dependant on a woman who treated you like crap.

 

Send her lawyer a message and tell that, azzhole the feelings is mutual. There is no reconsiliation on your end. And it would be quick to end this joke of a marriage while it's still fresh.

 

Lol. Bet that will make a head spin.

 

....look, just focus on yourself. mayn, please. For once in your life you need to accept that she isnt coming back. It hurts like hell yes, but the pain will subside. but you cannot rationalize crazy. All you can do is shake your head and say it's not my problem.

[Barky]

What's that saying I heard a few years back?

 

"In the airplane of love there's only one parachute."

 

Looks like she's the one who grabbed it!

[floridapad]

Mike,

 

What the Hell are you doing? Be honest. What are you doing? Trying to reconcile? Well I think you can tell by the gazillion people before you that trying to reconcile with someone when they don't want to reconcile is KILLING your shot at reconciliation. You KNOW this. So what are you really trying to do? What are you trying to accomplish. Self worth? The ability to say you tried? Kicking yourself enough to hit bottom?

[You Go Girl]

Mike has every reason to say he tried it all before he let her go. It may be demeaning to do so, yep. But, in latter years, when he looks back, he can say he tried everything, and she will know she didn't. And if her love life ever goes badly (which is the only time people seem to look back and question themselves) --she will have that hanging on her shoulders, not him.

Just go with the --if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger way, Mike. Try the friend as mediator. Why not? What's to lose? Your self-esteem? Naw.

If trying the mediator won't kill you--it'll make you stronger.

 

You might have only 1% of hope left, with 99% pointing to failure. But if it will make you feel better that you tried it--even knowing it will probably fail--so what if it will fail! You gave it your all.

Then there's nothing left short of getting on your knees and proclaiming your love. Doing that and getting rejected might kill ya, at least your spirit. You draw the line Mike as to what attempts will just hurt too much. You still have number 1 to look out for--and there are plenty of people who care about you even if it's hard to care about yourself right now. We care and we don't even know you. We're all rooting for your happiness.

Your strength is important here right now. If trying anything more will kill your spirit--then stop now. If you still have energy to burn--then continue. Just don't NOT look out for number 1.

[feelingfine]

I like what you say yougogirl! it is so very hard to wrap our heads around why someone would bail/abandon a family unit, but unfortunately have no control of it. We can't tell them how they should be feeling. I believe in the end the leaver will come around and see the distruction they have caused. Unfortunately for most, by that time it is too late.

[mikeymad]

FP (and chrome), I appreciate the advice. I know sometimes i need a swift kick in the head (or azz) to get my mind right, and I'm glad I've got you in my corner.

YGG, I see where you are coming from, but my candle is burning from both ends, and fast.

 

I do see it as honorable to make sure I tried. Much like a captain goes down with the ship, even if his first mate decides to bail on him.

On the other hand, the reality of the situation is that things are so raw that there is no way a Recon is seemingly on the radar.

So now I guess my mind is at "do my actions i take right now leave a lasting impression on her that she will look back on in a good way, or will they destroy the remote possibility of a recon in the future".

[Woggle]

Why do you even want to stay married to this woman. What can she offer you that is worth all this pain and heartbreak. While you are sitting here heartbroken and sulking she is out there cheating on you and twisting the knife. She does not love you and that does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

 

Some women are just messed up inside and they blame the man in their life for whatever unhappiness they might have and nice guys like you sadly tend to be their victims. Even if you do magically get her back the cycle will just repeat it itself. She hates you because you are there for her to blame. I get a lawyer fast and be prepared to play dirty because she will. Start suiting up for war because that is what this divorce might be.

[mikeymad]

wogg. thanks for the post

i'm almost certain the OM isn't there anymore. She's beat herself up about that, and if she was serious enough to go to confession about it that it's over. I made her realize what he was doing and the type of guy that would say those things just to break up a M. I think that hit her between the eyes.

I do have a lawyer, and fortunately it can't be war. We just don't have that much stuff to fight over. Seriously, we have like 0 marital assets. From here on out it should be pretty simple and straightforward, and much to my chagrin, quick.

[You Go Girl]

Your candle is burning fast at both ends---

this is what I was saying about looking out for numero uno.

 

I think you're making the right decision to stop burning that candle at both ends now, because that's how you feel. Go with what you feel. Trust yourself.

She sent a clear message don't try for reconciliation. Ok fine then. That's what she wants--give it to her.

Still you can feel good about yourself. You've already tried just about everything short of self-destruction--and that's where you have to draw the line.

In fact--if the right opportunity arises--tell her that. She needs to know there's a limit to how much you'll self-destruct for her. Might give her pause.

[LonelyTiger]

Why do you even want to stay married to this woman.

 

That's a very good point Woggle!

 

One of the many things I tried when I was desperately hoping to get my husband back was reading all the 'how to get back your partner' books and internet sites. Pretty pathetic when I think about it !

 

However, as pathetic as it seems now, it really did help. Not to get my husband back, although it's possible that may have come about if I'd continued with the advice (who knows). What it did help me to do was reaslise I didn't actually want him back.

 

He's not a bad man, and I put it down to MLC, but he treated me VERY badly. I realised I couldn't forgive him for what he'd done, or for the way he'd hurt me. I couldn't forget what he'd done either and I sure as hell couldn't spend the rest of however long wondering when he was going to walk again.

 

I decided HE had burned HIS bridges and I was way too good for him. In my mind, to go back to somebody who had acted with so little consideration for my feelings, would have meant giving up my self respect and that's something I will never give up for anyone. So I filed for divorce.

 

In your case I'd be inclined to do what Chrome suggested and send her lawyer a letter saying you wouldn't reconcile with her now if your life depended on it. It may not be true just yet, but I bet it will be one day!

[mikeymad]

I continue to surprise myself. Just when I think things can't get much worse, they do. After a short conversation with my w, she has relegated me to being verbally and emotionally abusive to her, that it is her revelation about what has gone wrong. Apparently not just heresay, because her family members, including her grandma have given her specific examples of when I said "nasty and/or mean" things in front of them. ugh. When it rains it pours. The scary part is what if this isn't a ploy to hurt me, but what if it is true??? I mean do entire families turn on your when things go sour?

I know i'm sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor, but I didn't know that I came off this way. It hurts me to know that not only has her family been thinking this, they have obviously been talking about it behind my back. I was welcomed with open arms, and people were what i thought genuinely nice to me. I enjoyed and respected many members of her family.

Its like my whole reality has been shattered. I am doubting myself more than ever. Maybe I was abusive, and my "poking fun" went too far or could easily be misconstrued. I can't remember any specific events that would produce this, but the scary part is maybe it's so ingrained in me that I just don't know I'm doing it. If that's the case, what steps do people take to correct that? I just feel like I'm not worthy to even had someone like that in my life if that's the way I am, and I don't know if I could ever do that to another person.

The worst part is through this whole thread my w has been getting roasted for leaving. What if she actually needed to? What if I was a bad enough husband who didn't change or listen that it drove her off? It's always easy to blame the other party, which is where most of us are looking, but what happens if we look inward, and maybe there's a monster lurking in our shadows?

Maybe I'm not the victim here in the sense of being left in a marriage. Maybe if she were to get on here and tell her side and the tables were turned, you all would be giving her the advice of get out, he won't change etc and I would be the bad guy.

Edited February 28, 2010 by mikeymad

[FreeNow]

Mike, I've been pretty much an a-hole in many of my relationships and judging from your posts you are far from earning that label. You seem able to see the multiple perspectives in this relationship and it's bringing on the 'what ifs'. I'd suspect that these thoughts are driving a lot of your anxiety.

 

If these issues were actually bothering her or her family so much then why are they bringing them up now? It would have been appropriate for them to address any such behavior on your part before all of this divorce garbage. You being a "jerk" during the marriage wouldn't force her to cheat (or whatever the h3ll she did -- can't remember). These sound like convenient excuses for her and her family to overlook princess's asinine behavior. They are trying to blame you for something to justify her behavior; manipulation and denial.

 

The fact that you're willing to do this kind of introspection indicates a decent person. You need to be a little kinder to yourself!

 

 

 

BTW: If she was on here posting about how she just had to cheat (or whatever) on her husband Mike and then file for divorce because he was so 'abusive'... I'd be kicking her square in her virtual behind. Her excuses are weak at best Mike.

[LisaUk]

It's so cruel the way the leaver will come up with all sorts of rubblish to justify what they are doing and have you noticed how the "reasons" descend, they get worse and worse as more time passes. Maybe that's because as time goes on they have to come up with more and more convincing reasons to stay away? Perhaps it gets harder and harder for them to keep justifying it to themself, maybe the thoughts of "have I done the right thing, he wasn't that bad" start to creep in. But then, they have cheated or done something else, so if you're not the problem that must mean they are and oh wait h*ll no! That can't be right! It must be he/she were the problem, you know, they were this and that etc and off they go again in search of those justifications.

 

If they had any self respect they would look at themself. But if that were the case they wouldn't have walked in the first place.

 

Yes, families turn, they protect their own regardless of what their own has done. Put it like this, my ex told his whole family we split amicably (not true), not one of them, not one, has ever contacted me. They have known me for 18 years since I was 15 years old, they live 10 mins round the corner and not one has called to see how I am doing. Not even a birthday card for me or my parents, nadar. Guess we know why he turned out like he is hey.

 

Don't torture yourself with her words Mike, that's all they are, the very fact you are willing to look at yourself tells me you are not the one with the problem here.

[mikeymad]

about to go to court tomorrow (mon). really anxious. have no idea how it will go, or what to expect. any thoughts, advice or prayers for me will be very much appreciated. will give an update when i can. hopefully this will not get ugly, and hopefully actually having to look at me will bring what she has done full circle, although it might not be possible with the delusions she has talked herself into.

thanks

mikeymad

[LisaUk]

Hi Mike

 

The courts are aware people aren't used to them so should make you feel comfortable.

 

In the UK the judge will only grant a D if the marriage is irrecovably broken down, if you really don't want the D, no one says you have to make it easy for her, feel free to be honest and tell the judge you want to work on the M. Might make no difference, but at least you will be being true to yourself.

 

As for your W, I think she is so far into the self justifications and affair fog it will be a long time before she realises what she has done. Her loss.

[mikeymad]

Another red letter day on the calender.

So we meet at the courthouse, with respective lawyers. Mine wants to find a pathway towards ending this with "good will". Goes to talk with her lawyer. They come back and and think it's a good idea to put my W in a room with me so we can "talk". BAD IDEA. She walks in, I pretty much lose it.

First words out of her mouth "what the hell are you doing? You know it's over and this is costing us time and money. What's all this good will stuff? I'm not interested in ending on good terms, nor am I interested in being friends." Over the next hour I find out

 

A) She has come to the realization we were never friends, so therefore no reason to try and be friends.

B) Unwilling to try any form of mediation, divorce counseling etc.

C) Told me to my face that she didn't love me and that she can't worry about me and my situation anymore...I will "survive".

D) That she has everything documented about our interactions over the years and I feel like she has "kept score" the entire time.

E) She not only feels like i was verbally and emotionally abusive, but makes the jump to now she feels I am "unstable" because I am in "denial" of this happening, and fears for her physical safety, like I would become violent. Also considering selling her house because of this thought process.

F) And in all of this she showed no emotion. Refers to the Non violence wheel and how our relationship didn't fit any of that.

G) Our honeymoon was not only a waste of time and money, but the "worst possible honeymoon she could have imagined"

 

Its really hard to take an ego bashing like that and recover. I feel hollow, lonely, and dead inside, except for that gnawing ache that won't go away. I know I'm not a monster, but like I said previously, you really start to wonder about yourself. She's not interested in anything about me nor anything that has to do with me.

 

I'll need some real help here, because this rabbit hole seems to be getting deeper and deeper

[LisaUk]

Another red letter day on the calender.

So we meet at the courthouse, with respective lawyers. Mine wants to find a pathway towards ending this with "good will". Goes to talk with her lawyer. They come back and and think it's a good idea to put my W in a room with me so we can "talk". BAD IDEA. She walks in, I pretty much lose it.

First words out of her mouth "what the hell are you doing? You know it's over and this is costing us time and money. What's all this good will stuff? I'm not interested in ending on good terms, nor am I interested in being friends." Over the next hour I find out

 

A) She has come to the realization we were never friends, so therefore no reason to try and be friends.

B) Unwilling to try any form of mediation, divorce counseling etc.

C) Told me to my face that she didn't love me and that she can't worry about me and my situation anymore...I will "survive".

D) That she has everything documented about our interactions over the years and I feel like she has "kept score" the entire time.

E) She not only feels like i was verbally and emotionally abusive, but makes the jump to now she feels I am "unstable" because I am in "denial" of this happening, and fears for her physical safety, like I would become violent. Also considering selling her house because of this thought process.

F) And in all of this she showed no emotion. Refers to the Non violence wheel and how our relationship didn't fit any of that.

G) Our honeymoon was not only a waste of time and money, but the "worst possible honeymoon she could have imagined"

 

Its really hard to take an ego bashing like that and recover. I feel hollow, lonely, and dead inside, except for that gnawing ache that won't go away. I know I'm not a monster, but like I said previously, you really start to wonder about yourself. She's not interested in anything about me nor anything that has to do with me.

 

I'll need some real help here, because this rabbit hole seems to be getting deeper and deeper

 

Wow! Why all the anger from her do you know? My ex was cold and heartless, said some hurtful stuff but not vindictive or angry like this. Can I ask, have you done something? You don't need to answer if you would rather not, but did you have an affair at some point or blow up in anger a lot, or call her names or swear at her, scream shout? Anything like that? What are the reasons she gave for leaving? Have you been begging her back and constantly calling, texting, going over a lot recently (we all do at the start)? Sorry to have to ask, but she sounds so mad with you.

 

It's almost like she is trying to hurt you and push you away, if she didn't love you she wouldn't care enough to hurt you in absense of any "real" reasons to feel this way.

 

If the answer to all that is no. Then I'm sorry but she's nuts, she sounds like a spoilt princess! Remind me, is there an OM?

[Gunny376]

Blow it off! Before its over? She'll have painted as worse than Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussien, Stalin etc. put together!

[LonelyTiger]

Mike, there are some fights you just can't win!

 

It's time to get out, while you still have your dignity.

 

In her head, she's painted you as the bad guy in all of this - it doesn't matter if it's true or not, you'll never change her mind. This is her show, she's the producer and she decides the ending.

 

Walk away from this and start taking care of yourself. Get some counselling or therapy to repair the damage and start a new life of your own. Write your own script and call your own shots. It's a tough job when you first accept the challenge, but it's a whole lot more fun than being the gofer.

[floridapad]

Mike,

 

First of all listen to what I have to say. Please. No buts or counter arguments. Just listen or I'll have to fly up to Minnesota and kick your Azz myself. Your wife is gaslighting the HEll out of you. She is grossly exagerating every PERCIEVED negative quality about you because she MUST justify her divorce. Why? Because painting you out as a monster is the ONLY way her conscience will allow her to 1) divorce (in accordance with her so called moral compass) and 2) to justify her affair. THAT'S IT. It is ALL magnified and some of it is even fabricated.

 

Now having said that. You know what your personal sh*t is and you have stated you will own it so that you can grow and change. Good for you but don't you start falling in the embelishment trap. No way in HELL is your ex painting you in an objective light. She is just picking, fabricating and embellishing. She HAS to. That is why you will not win with her or get her to see you differently. She has already started down this road and she is almost at the end.

It is easier to create her own story to appease her guilt so F her and let her do it. She will not have grown from this and the poor SOB that signs up with the ex will be in the same boat.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Your wife soon to be ex, loves you, deep down inside she does, but in her mental state she is putting you into the role of a villan, now if she believes or in time comes to find out that you arent the monster you proclaim to be, the guilt she has may eat her alive. She's doing this because she needs someone to blame and she isnt blaiming herself, she isnt owning up to her own chit.

 

So therefore everytime she sees you or talks to you she's reminded of her own guilt and pain. And thus you must be the villan because if your not she's wrong and she doesnt want to be wrong.

 

Women like that, that cannot own up to their issues and problems and basically paint you as the devil when you know your not. has deeper issues than you realize.

 

My advice: Run for the hills. get this divorce done and be business like. Let her know no friendship, np reconsiliation, and after the divorce is over no contact, only through a lawyer.

 

You need to protect yourself. Look at it from a logical standpoint. You know you love her, others see you love her, but she doesnt love you or is manipulating it like she never did because she cannot and will not face the truth.

 

Women like this are a lost cause. I been through the block with stuff like this. find someone else mentally more stable and mature.

 

Years from now when you have moved on, she'll still hate you and be angry. and all you did was truly love her. Quite the concept right?

[LisaUk]

Your wife soon to be ex, loves you, deep down inside she does, but in her mental state she is putting you into the role of a villan, now if she believes or in time comes to find out that you arent the monster you proclaim to be, the guilt she has may eat her alive. She's doing this because she needs someone to blame and she isnt blaiming herself, she isnt owning up to her own chit.

 

So therefore everytime she sees you or talks to you she's reminded of her own guilt and pain. And thus you must be the villan because if your not she's wrong and she doesnt want to be wrong.

 

Women like that, that cannot own up to their issues and problems and basically paint you as the devil when you know your not. has deeper issues than you realize.

 

My advice: Run for the hills. get this divorce done and be business like. Let her know no friendship, np reconsiliation, and after the divorce is over no contact, only through a lawyer.

 

You need to protect yourself. Look at it from a logical standpoint. You know you love her, others see you love her, but she doesnt love you or is manipulating it like she never did because she cannot and will not face the truth.

 

Women like this are a lost cause. I been through the block with stuff like this. find someone else mentally more stable and mature.

 

Years from now when you have moved on, she'll still hate you and be angry. and all you did was truly love her. Quite the concept right?

 

This is so true! Sorry Mike, I did not mean to sound accusatory last night, I am sure you are aware I have a habit of looking for MY blame, never meant to project that in my post to you. Crome is bang on here. My ex may not have been aggressive or angry, but he was as cold as ice. Kept saying things about how it was so hard for him to speak to me on the phone or talk about things b/c it was painful. Like I said on another thread yesterday REALLY? You wouldn't be doing this if it was hard for you pal, no one forced this on you.

 

The reality is it was "hard" for him b/c just like your wife, deep down he knew he was taking rubblish, gaslighting me, villifying me so he could walk away guilt free. He must have said "this is the right decision" so many times they should write it on his tombstone. Who was he trying to convince? It certainly wasn't me. Just like your wife, in her case b/c she has an OM (that is why I asked yesterday) and in mine probably b/c he has commitment issues, I mean lets face it he was engaged to me for 8 years that alone SCREAMS commitment problems. 18 years do decide whether to marry me? Ridiculous.

 

So, don't let her blame you, don't listen to her re-writing your history. If you were an emotional abuser how come she married you in the first place? Is she seriously trying to suggest that she did not date you and find out who you are? Utter rubbish. The truth here is a plain as day, you went away for work for six months and she got lonely and b/c she is incapable of loyalty she got her kicks elsewhere, now she has to justify her bad behaviour to herself and the outside world by making you out as the villian. OMG women get over yourself.

[mikeymad]

thanks for the replies. not sure what happened, but today i woke up pretty numb. it feels like i am emotionally bankrupt right now, which is nice to not be able to conjure up pain or tears. i just don't have it in me. the sun was shining today, which was very nice to feel. i just feel....different. W texted to me complaining about returning stuff and wanting everything done on her terms, saying that if i didn't comply she would see what the judge said, and go after me for the money she spent on me during the marriage. way to be petty. i almost laughed, because a) she'd be spending 300/hr to get some piddly **** back, and trying to get money from a broke person is like drawing blood from a turnip.

 

i also took off my wedding ring today. it feels strange and my finger seems naked, but i left it at home in case i would subconsciously put it back on.

I always get nervous when FP and chrome post, because i know that i'm gonna get yelled at (ie kids doing crap at home....uh oh dad's home!), so thank you for not giving me the screws but also giving some good points.

I did see a woman i didn't recognize yesterday. It's almost sad, because I know that's not her, but she has warped herself into this reality and she can't see the life preserver in front of her, she's grabbed onto divorce as the only answer. The only option I have is to let go, as I will destroy myself if I keep this up.

 

so i am cautiously optimistic that this is the 1st day of the rest of my life. I see that just as much as giving up right away isn't healthy, neither is holding onto something forever. Sure I hope the fog might lift someday, but I'm not counting on it.

 

I plan to get through the rest of this hopefully painlessly and effortlessly. I will not be weak again in front of her. I took her crap, i absorbed it and owned it for a short while, but my body's defense mechanisms took over and now are excreting that poison she put in my brain through my ears.

 

I plan on writing her a goodbye letter. Not one begging for a second chance, like old mike; not one talking about change, like old mike; but one asserting myself and telling her I will NOT be blamed for the demise and for her unhappiness, that everything wasnt as bad as she made it out to be, that she villified me and gaslighted me in order to justify her leaving, because in the end she chose to leave in spite of the fact multiple people would attest to the fact that I would have crawled over broken glass to mend this. I will not be the bad guy. In fact, I think i'm a pretty good catch. I'm decent looking , smart, funny, and will be a better person for this. I guess that's the silver lining here, that I get to reasses, grow, and really be self autonomous. I am now living my life for no one other than for myself.

 

In fact i hope she doesn't open it for months or even years, and one day she sees it in a pile of stuff from our M, blows the dust off, reads it, and breaks down...because HOLY SHI T. HE WAS RIGHT. And when she owns her stuff, and can get over her pride and contact me, i MIGHT give her the chance to start at ground zero IF she's lucky. She probably won't have that chance, because I will be with my then girlfriend/fiancee/wife. Living the dream.

 

Yes, I'm raw. Yes, this sucks, and I hurt. Maybe this is my 180. Maybe this is my wakeup call. Maybe I'm BSing myself, but for right now, for today at least, this attitude feels good. I just hope I'm not getting ahead of myself, and if I backslide you think i'm crazy, which would only be half true

 

Mikeymad version 2.0 is being constructed as we speak. Ladies (especially ) and gentlemen, watch out, all heck is gonna break loose.

 

In fact, you can respond today, but I won't get it until late, unlike i usually do, sitting at the computer all night hoping for someone to respond to give me some direction. This guy is gonna go out tonight. I gotta get on with the getting on.

Edited March 3, 2010 by mikeymad

[floridapad]

Mike

 

You have said so much all of which truly is very insightful. I hope you reread your last post again and again. At this point Mike. You need to pick a direction and muster all your strength to go in that direction. It needs to be a healthy direction. You need to make a choice to get out of limbo. Grieving your loss is a direction as long as it leads to acceptance. The more you grieve with hope of future reconciliation the harder acceptance will come and the longer your grief will go. When you have grieved and reached acceptance, you will have made a HUGE step at becoming happy and pulling yourself out of this limbo.

 

My prayers are with you buddy. Try to go do divorce care with the intent on moving past this divorce and accepting it. It will be very helpful. A bit painful but no more pain than you are currently in.

 

BTW - I think you are a friggin hysterical dude. Some of the posts and texts you send me put a smile on my face and I'm sure many others. For a 27 year old young buck you are actually pretty damn intelligent and extraordinarily insightful. You have alot to offer even right now. Hell if I was a chick I would be chomping at the bits (OK I know that doesn't help you). Imagine how much you will have learned about women and relationships through out this process and how friggin lucky some woman is going to be once you get past this. Just accept that loss and you will make a HUGE step towards recovery.