Question- Do most people lie about their past?

[ncguy34]

It has been a while since I posted but was curious about something. Do most men and women lie about their sexual past?

 

I have moved on from the issues I posted earlier but recently my girl friend asked me the number of sexual partners I had been with in my life. I gave her the exact answer and number. She on the other hand gave me an answer but excluded one person that she had mentioned before but did not include it in her "total" I do not think it is a show stopper but am a little confused. She then asked if I was being completely honest and I said yes. I asked her if she was being completely honest and she said yes-even though she was missing one person.

 

If someone is going to ask you to be honest is it too much to ask the same? I feel a little bothered that she failed to mention this person even when she wanted us to be perfectly candid.

 

Is this lie a big deal or is this something that all men and women do even when they ask for complete honesty?

 

C

[Errol]

I'm confused. She gave you a list but did not include someone. However you know about this person and can add him to the list -- so in reality you do know exactly how many and she was honest enough to tell you about this person?

 

How is that not being honest?

[ncguy34]

I understand the confusion. She mentioned the other person in passing a long time ago but not when she stated she was being completly honest I guess I would have prefered a honest answer that included this person. I was honest. I would expect her to be that way.

[InLoKo]

If you were my bf and you had asked me, I'd have told you it was none of your business, which it isn't. So you're lucky she told you anything. If you are going to put her under this much scrutiny over everything she says, you will come unstuck at some point.

[UCFKevin]

When a guy hears "none of your business" or "I can't tell you, it'll bother you," then that's just a flashing sign in our minds, like, "Oh GOD what has she done?!" even if it's nothing big or anything like that.

 

I'd rather not know anything about a girls past, after my ex, I knew way too much about that.

 

I'd lie if necessary. Maybe. I prefer to be honest, but the number of girls I've been with might scare a prospect off. I think right around 5 is a good number, that's what I've said lately.

[bicylejunk]

I think most do. I think some may tend to live out little tidbits of ino about every single thing they've done as not to

scare the new object of their fancy...

 

On the other hand, some may lie just to sound like a Macho Stud to their girl so they

don't look dumb when they mention they lost their virginity at 24.

 

My Opinion, Leave the past behind, Unless you've got something you really

need to confess before you start a relationship with a new person.(i.e. STD's, Diseases)

[moimeme]

What's past is past. Every experience a person has goes into creating the person before you now. In that context, I am always interested to know the facts of someone's life. I understand that people make choices sometimes they wouldn't at other times, that some people feel they need to have some experiences or they'll feel bereft, and that some people do things they later characterize as 'mistakes'. It's all good. If not for every moment of that person's past, that person would not be in your life now - and how excellent is that!

 

I firmly believe that understanding and acceptance are two gifts of love. What we're talking about here in some instances is people holding up their standards to their partners - if the partner doesn't measure up, trouble. Not really an atmosphere of acceptance, that.

 

Of course, the other aspect is that people whose self-esteem is not strong feel they will be 'compared' to the past partners. In that case, there isn't much one can do, I suppose, is hide your past until/unless the other person manages to overcome the self-esteem issues.