a way to convince her to get for the sake of our relationship?

[anny89]

Hello everyone: , i have a problem and i was hoping to hear more opinions to help me decide;

i asked people about this and all they told me was to leave her , but thats not wat i want to do , i only want to make sure she wont do this again , so here it is;

am a 20 yr old girl i live w/ my 42 yr old gf , regardless of the age difference we both love each other very much , however her parents seem to dislike me so i got into a fight with her mom which led to me verbally insulting her , and when we got home we had a fight about it which got even more and more tensed and then for the first time she physically against my will held me down like used her weight to pin me down and hit me( spanked me,not in an erotic way so plz no kinky comments).but its still consider hitting. my wrist is bruised now, and i repeatedly told her to stop hitting me as she was hurting me but she didnt stop not even when i cried, i have never seen her react this way,shez a very loving n nice person no matter what ne one says i know shez kind and loving , she says she goes through hell trying to defend "us" without having to worry about me acting like a "brat" even though i was only defending myself her mom was obviously trying to tick me off ,today she talked to me only she didnt apologize or nethin,on the contrary she told me how my behavior embarrassed her and how i was being insensitive not caring bout her image in front of her old parents 60+, and just when i told her that she physically abused me .she told me that what goes up must come down ! and that i verbally abused her "defenseless" mom so i got what i was asking for :S. and that if i act like a brat i get treated like one, i told her how i cant tolerate physical abuse and she told me to "get over it , its not like i slapped your face or broke your nose". she is acting like am making a big deal of it and that i should be sorry for what i did , and so i honestly didn't feel like she understands just how much what she did was wrong she doesn't even consider it abuse she told me that she would never abuse me and that what happened was not abuse . my question is ; do u by any chance get her point n think shez right ? and how am i to make her promise me not to do that again and understand that it is abuse and get professional help for the sake of our relationship .?

,this is serious

thnx again

[Devil Inside]

Anny...what she did would be considered domestic violence by any police department in the country. She held you down against your will and struck you, even when you asked her to stop. Afterward she denied that this was abuse. I know you love her, but, it is very concerning A)that she did this and B)that she does not see it as an issue.

 

I also was alarmed to read the way she talks to you. Telling you that if you are going to act like a brat she will treat you like one. It seems like some kind of weird transference. Does she have any children your age? If so what is their relationship like?

 

As for your question. You can't make her promise not to do something. Only she can make that promise. I think it is a long shot because she does not think she did something wrong. All you can do is decide whether to stay, and under what conditions.

 

Good luck to you.

[anny89]

thanks for responding.

yea she does have 2 kids (18,21) and their relationship is good i guess, i mean she divorced when they were around 11-14 or something, am not sure. they lived w/ their dad though.