Sibling crush?

[Wicked Child]

Several months ago, before my brother was deployed overseas, we all went out to the bar, and partied it up. He ended up sending me several drunken texts when we got home, asking me to come in his room naked!! I thought at first that he just texted me by accident, but it was apparent that that was not the case. I obviously told him no, that it was creepy, and that he was just drunk. I didn't say anything to him about it until a week or so later, when I just told him to check his messages from that night, and make sure it doesn't happen again. He claims he doesn't remember, and apologized.

 

Well, it happened again last night. He just came back from deployment, so a bunch of us went out to the bar, had a good time...And as soon as we got home, he started texting me again...more coherently than the last time. He was essentially begging me to come in his room....I just replied no about 6 times before I ignored the messages.

 

I'm not sure what to do about this...I don't know if sibling crushes are common, and I don't know if I should tell my parents about it, should it be some sort of psychological issue that he may need help with....Any input at all would be appreciated. And please, don't respond with negative remarks. My brother is not a creep, and we are not hillbillies. I'm genuinely concerned and don't know what to do.

[Ronni_W]

Yes, you do need support and protection, and your brother does need help.

It's also an alcohol abuse problem, so you could approach your parents from that angle.

 

Maybe you want to call a family meeting where all four of you are present and say something like, "I'm concerned about the behaviour that Brother engages in after he's been drinking. It also negatively impacts me. I'd please like you three to work together to resolve it, thank you."

 

Your parents will likely ask for details about the problem behaviour. You could say, "I've asked Brother to stop after it happened the first time, so he knows what I'm talking about. It happened again but I'm going to leave it for him to tell you. I don't want to be any more involved than this."

 

And just reiterate that it's a family problem that they need to resolve; that it's not about judging or blaming but about getting your brother the help that he obviously needs (for his drinking problem and for whatever is driving his problem behaviour) and loving and supporting him through it.

 

Hugs, and best of luck.

[Ross PK]

Surely what he does 'does' make him a creep though?

[fennel6]

Surely what he does 'does' make him a creep though?

 

Indeed, it does!

[parky-our-zeppelin]

[Enema]

I'd suggest showing your parents the messages and asking them to deal with it quietly.

 

If you don't want to go to your parents, a reply more firm than "No" is in order. "I've been clear. Do NOT message me this again or I'll involve mum & dad"