Jerry18 Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 I think I'm negatively being affected by guys who are looking for easy sex. I'm a guy who actually wants a friendship and a meaningful relationship. However, I don't like how girls think I approach them just for sex. Is there anyway for me to signal or show that I want a relationship instead of just sex? Obviously, talking won't work because guys who want sex would try to trick the girl into thinking that he wants a relationship instead. Link to post Share on other sites
The Paper Knight Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) Obviously, talking won't work because guys who want sex would try to trick the girl into thinking that he wants a relationship instead. If you want a meaningful relationship with anybody, communication between each other is paramount and unless you are a mute then talking is the best way to achieve any sort of relationship. You sound like you are having troubles communicating with girls - read some girlie mags like cosmo and see what sorts of subjects they like to read about. Whenever you talk to a girl find something you have in common and express your passions. Ps. You may also find that they are interested in sex! Happy hunting Edited February 22, 2010 by The Paper Knight Link to post Share on other sites
Maria_la_Guera Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Easy (at least it's easy for me to say as a girl, I'm sure it's not as easy being a guy), treat girls as friends and don't push for sex until they want it or maybe even initiate it and don't do it if you think it's too soon (and tell them that). Don't be too eager, just friendly and interested in their personality (which it seems like you are anyway if you are looking for a relationship). It might be good to have girls as friends too, to learn more about how girls view guys. On the other hand, if you want a relationship, don't waste time on just trying to get attention if you don't actually like the girl. Not sure about reading Cosmo though, it's so full of crap... But then again, a lot of women read it. I just don't think women only think about sex all the time, which you'd think if you read Cosmo... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I think I'm negatively being affected by guys who are looking for easy sex. I'm a guy who actually wants a friendship and a meaningful relationship. However, I don't like how girls think I approach them just for sex. Is there anyway for me to signal or show that I want a relationship instead of just sex? Obviously, talking won't work because guys who want sex would try to trick the girl into thinking that he wants a relationship instead. yea, become their friend...that will show how thoughtful you are Link to post Share on other sites
Maria_la_Guera Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Obviously, talking won't work because guys who want sex would try to trick the girl into thinking that he wants a relationship instead. Oh, and you are so right about this one I've learned to run a mile if a guy keeps on saying how he's missed me or wants to get married way too early... So don't fall for that. Genuine affection is different and I think many girls can sense that. I wish there were more guys like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Beccakeil Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Easy (at least it's easy for me to say as a girl, I'm sure it's not as easy being a guy), treat girls as friends and don't push for sex until they want it or maybe even initiate it and don't do it if you think it's too soon (and tell them that). Don't be too eager, just friendly and interested in their personality (which it seems like you are anyway if you are looking for a relationship). It might be good to have girls as friends too, to learn more about how girls view guys. On the other hand, if you want a relationship, don't waste time on just trying to get attention if you don't actually like the girl. Not sure about reading Cosmo though, it's so full of crap... But then again, a lot of women read it. I just don't think women only think about sex all the time, which you'd think if you read Cosmo... I totally agree with this!! I am also a girl. But then, beware... because you must become a friend, a close person to this girl, but still keep out of the friend zone, keep it clear that you want more than just friendship. *note* MORE than just friendship. Including friendship. Be charming, find things that you both are into. Be yourself. That way you don't seem fake and the girl will go more into you, because, if there is anything that's more of a turn off is somebody who will do absolutely everything you say. So be a challenge, be yourself, don't let her change you, but still be open and friendly. Make sure you don't mention the relationship until after you've known the girl, that way it will seem you want more than just sex. Guys who don't want more than sex don't waste time getting to know the girl they're about to bang... Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 They don't. We are pretty much all scum to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Beccakeil Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 They don't. We are pretty much all scum to them. What makes you say that?... The thing about girls, is that we're all different. In many ways... But, just human beings, normal human beings. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I know people say once you are friendzoned its game over. But every guy i've ever fallen for in any way has always started as a friend. But don't be the friend thats a dogsbody. Be a guy AND a friend, as in still have a life. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Sounds to me like you have become a casualty of the so-called "hookup culture." The fact that male/female interaction now revolves more around anonymous hookups than dating has left guys like you in the cold. You are the minority. Women are so used to dealing with guys looking for quick hookups, they come to believe all men are like that. They don't believe guys like you exist. My only suggestion is that when you try to meet women, stay away from venues where hooking up is standard practice. I know that's hard. But I don't know what else might convince a prospective date you're not some horny guido. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Easy (at least it's easy for me to say as a girl, I'm sure it's not as easy being a guy), treat girls as friends and don't push for sex until they want it or maybe even initiate it and don't do it if you think it's too soon (and tell them that). Don't be too eager, just friendly and interested in their personality (which it seems like you are anyway if you are looking for a relationship). It might be good to have girls as friends too, to learn more about how girls view guys. On the other hand, if you want a relationship, don't waste time on just trying to get attention if you don't actually like the girl. Not sure about reading Cosmo though, it's so full of crap... But then again, a lot of women read it. I just don't think women only think about sex all the time, which you'd think if you read Cosmo... This sounds sensible, but in reality, it often doesn't work. The reason is most unattached women are being pursued by multiple guys at any given time. A man who takes his time, makes friends first, waits for a woman to take an interest, etc is likley going to miss his chance. He'll just be knocked out of contention by some other guy who is more aggressive. Then he is stuck in the dreaded Friend Zone. Forever. Link to post Share on other sites
troggleputty Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 With a tape measure? Link to post Share on other sites
Toki Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Whoever suggested Cosmo... or girly mags... Yes communication is essential, but you don't need to know how to do their makeup. If you're an awkward guy like myself, I use an acting technique called "looking for a cue" if you see something interesting make a comment on it, usually that evolves in a conversation and you can gauge their reaction, when the subject begins to run out, look for another cue, such as a book you're reading, or something you watched recently on tv, whatever comes to mind. Just practice at it, and eventually you'll be a master of conversing with the opposite sex. Link to post Share on other sites
hpblah Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 Communication is essential!! There is no other way... Unless you plan on learning telepathy or something, then it's the only way!! I'm pretty guilty of that trait, whenever a man approaches me i assume the worst lol... But in London it's filled with womanising scum Best of Luck! Hannah Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts