When your ex thinks they are being "human"

[trippi1432]

Today was a hard day...it started bad with my son...went thru the afternoon with the ex and son....ended with me telling my daughter that one more negative comment in MY HOUSE THAT I PAY THE PAYMENT on would result in immediate eviction.....boundaries...this is MINE...and I have a son to raise the RIGHT way....and I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THE BEST THING FOR HIM!!!!!! FOR ME, FOR US....

[Gunny376]

You rock! Get some!

[trippi1432]

You rock! Get some!

 

Exit stage left.....I never was good at reading minds....and I have been there for many friends, but I guess I let a good one down since I didn't know the whole story.....just like a friend I used to have.....he passed away and I should have been there for him to make sure his sister got him adequate medical care, but we were so in tune to each other. There was always this peaceful calm feeling that I haven't felt with anyone since. Even years later when I rock myself to sleep, I still feel us on the porchswing swaying to our own tune. But then again, that is me being selfish and only thinking of myself (and that someone that deserved better than what he got).

 

The hardest thing to do is walk a mile in someone else's shoe....it's even harder to walk that mile when you are so caught up in your own problems and noone will tell you anything....the demise of two good people who once knew comfort in each other.

 

The fact is, some people are just better off being alone....I realized that I am one of them....will see you for many rums my friend.

[trippi1432]

Here's a good one Gunny....

 

 

Here's all you need to know about men and woman. Men are dumb and Women are crazy. And the reason women are crazy is because men are dumb.Makes a great oxy-moron don't ya think?

[trippi1432]

I've decided that it is time to let my ex back into my life....maybe it is the wrong thing to do, but I know that he still loves me. That much history, maybe I can thank the GF for him quitting drinking and all. He wants so much to be a part of his son's life and maybe this was a blessing in disguise....what I couldn't get him to do for 15 years....maybe he has learned a lesson.....

 

 

.....maybe it is that I am listening to Sass Jordan and hate me very much right now............

 

.......maybe it's because my ex is sitting there blaming the fact that his friends and family took over his marriage and he had no time for it...which is why he disowned them all for his GF, but not his wife.

 

.....maybe because that is all I deserve..........being the selfish opinionated b***** that I am.

[Gunny376]

If he's really has quit drinking ~ then he should be a part of his son's life and his son apart of his life.

 

Obviously some of us havn't read our "Guidebook For The Newly Seperated and Soon To Be Divorced" handhook?

 

"One and only one pity party not lasting more than 24 hours per divorce and or seperation!"

 

"Beating oneself up is not an allowable

 

Men are like the Pillsbury Doeboy. First you've got to get rid of all the crap they learned from the mother. Then you've got to mold them and fold them and kned them to be the man that you need for them to be to be with you.

[trippi1432]

I've decided that it is time to let my ex back into my life....maybe it is the wrong thing to do, but I know that he still loves me. That much history, maybe I can thank the GF for him quitting drinking and all. He wants so much to be a part of his son's life and maybe this was a blessing in disguise....what I couldn't get him to do for 15 years....maybe he has learned a lesson.....

 

 

.....maybe it is that I am listening to Sass Jordan and hate me very much right now............

 

.......maybe it's because my ex is sitting there blaming the fact that his friends and family took over his marriage and he had no time for it...which is why he disowned them all for his GF, but not his wife.

 

.....maybe because that is all I deserve..........being the selfish opinionated b***** that I am.

 

Yeah Gunny, you're right....one pity party is all that is allowed. WTF was I even thinking there???

 

The fact is, I've done alot of thinking today....and I am working on prioritizing what I need and what I don't need.

 

1. I don't need a man to be the other half of me nor do I really care about having one there for me either. It's much too difficult....I get so busy with my kid's problems and dramas, the work overload....and there are times that these issues make me not a good friend, less anything else to anyone.

 

2. I need a different job, but I NEED one that makes me happy....what I like to do. Currently I am working on a relocation with my company and am pushing hard for it. I might not get my first choice (New Mexico), but the second choice in TN isn't bad either. That, in itself, is a little glimmer of hope that makes it worth walking thru those doors everyday and hating it.

 

3. I need my children to respect the fact that this is my house and I am not the bank. I've been saying No a whole lot more these days....got holes in the walls to prove it....going to make son patch every one of those as well as replace the garage door that he broke. (Gunny - you will be happy to know that I found a 9 month program at an away camp that I think will be very good for him....working on the application process now.) One of the best things that I can say that has come from any of this is that I now know that I am not crazy. Son's school social worker talked to him for 30 minutes and finally asked him if he ever took any responsibility for his actions because all she kept hearing from him was excuses. My ex called son's psychiatrist to let her know what a horrifying control-freak b*tch I am....son's psychiatrist gave me her sympathy and has invited him to his son's sessions....she is hoping to work on his father too since he never takes responsibility for anything either.

 

4. I need to work on finding things that I like to do and stop letting people take up all my time. Set boundaries of what is acceptable and what I won't tolerate. For people who are worth it, I try to put them first, but it seems that this is at my own expense sometimes. I'm learning that if putting someone else first and caring about them becomes painful to me, it's time to walk away. That's not running, it's about stopping what is hurtful to each other.

 

5. I also need to stop caring about what other people think of me, my own opinion of me is what matters. I need to find ME again.

 

6. I need to stop worrying about being alone, there's nothing wrong with it and the demands are alot less than a relationship. There is some comfort in knowing that I am only responsible for me.

 

7. I need to buy another guitar, I miss the one I gave to my dad because it was easier to play....going on a journey and feel that many songs may come from it.

 

So, that's it.....right or wrong...will figure that out on the journey. Good luck to all of you here and thank you for the support, hugs and friendships. I promise to check back every now and then.