nutella Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 HELP! We are a long distance couple, a guy from Australia and a girl from Finland. We are both 24 years old and we’ve been together for 3 years (actually our anniversary is tomorrow ), and we have lived in each others countries in turns (at the moment he lives in Finland). We have a major problem, as we’re not sure should we continue our relationship any longer…We care for each other and don’t want to be with anyone else, but we’re afraid our relationship will end one day. Neither of us wants to move to each others home country long term. We both feel like this is not going to last for ever, but at the same time we don’t want to break up. Any advice would be appreciated… Link to post Share on other sites
FabulousLadee Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 This is wierd. If you already know that the relationship is not going to last forever...why are you wasting your time?! Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 As another alternative, the two of you could move to a third country, one that has the important aspects of both countries that each need. If on the otherhand, you both are unwilling to leave family, friends and your accustomed environments, either the two of you have to continue traveling to see each other and be satisfied by irregular meetings, or you let go now, to try to find someone who lives in your city/town/farming community. Not every relationship is intended to last forever. That's why people date and have relationships, before finding the most compatible person they can find, to commit to marriage or some form of life-bonding agreement. Link to post Share on other sites
SophieA Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Or you could just remain in a long distance relationship forever. While that thought makes me SHUDDER, it works for some couples. In fact, I work for a surgeon who is in a long distance marriage and it works for her and her hubby (as far as I can tell!). Link to post Share on other sites
nowomanocry Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Well, if it has been 3 years and none of you doing something about getting together permanently what do you expect to happen in the end?Me and my girlfriend from UK we had to split because according to the law she had to be my guarantor and she couldn't because she had 4 kids and was working on minimum wage and we couldn't gather the money needed to start a life together. 3 years of love & passion all went downhill, thanks to the UK İmmigration law and policies (which I think is totally against all human rights) and all those heartless homeoffice staff who do the executionLove alone isn't enough, there are the realities of life, and if you don't act soon then you will be like us I am afraid. Or maybe, it will be better for you to wake up from your dream and face real life and believe me it is not pink out here (where I am now)Good luck hun, all my best Link to post Share on other sites
Author nutella Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 Yeah the problem is that we both want to stay in our home countries - close to our families and friends . Maybe we're not just that in love, if neather of us want to compromise...? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Or you could just remain in a long distance relationship forever. While that thought makes me SHUDDER, it works for some couples. In fact, I work for a surgeon who is in a long distance marriage and it works for her and her hubby (as far as I can tell!). Im not sure that an LDR without somehow being together in the end will really work. That is an awful lot of stress. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I don't see how that could possibly ever work out. It seems to me that there is too much selfishness on both sides of the Relationship for it to be healthy. If you knew that the relationship would end, and that you would both never want to leave your home countries, then why in the world did you do this to yourself in the first place? Methinks that a lot of people get caught up in the romanticism of an LDR without really thinking through what it requires. The main requirements being SACRIFICE(but in a lovey, non death way), TRUST, and COMMUNICATION. I see so many posters on the board nowadays that have either forgotten those concepts or never knew of them in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Imnotsure Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 The only other obvious solution is finding some middle ground, such as a country that is somewhere in between, or simply moving backwards and forwards every year. However I think the in end you will have to choose one country or the other, if settling down together is what you want. I think what you should both be doing is exploring each other's group of friends and family, and seeing if either of you can settle into the other's lifestyle. Personally I could follow my heart anywhere, but I have fewer commitments with my location at the moment. You wouldn't be abandoning your friends. Websites and communication devices are amazing these days, you could easily stay in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
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