A Girl in College Class..

[shocker555]

Hi so I'm a 20 year old guy and need some advice.

 

I take only one night class currently (community college), one day a week for around 3 hours. There is a girl in our class that is really cute and seems nice from observing, but since it is a night class most people keep to themselves. Also, because most are going to bigger universities so they tend not to be as social because they won't be attending for long.

 

I am not a creeper who just stares or something, but she is hard to not notice

 

Now I have no idea how old she is (she could be a lot older) and what if she already has a bf or very well married.. There are some that are around my age, but others who are well 5+ years to me.

 

Now I know most people might say to just talk to her, but its not so easy I think. I am not really shy, but it just depends on the situation and thats my problem.

I don't want it to be awkward for her or myself, we only have like 8 weeks left together. But what if she is already with someone, and like when there are breaks sometimes we leave the room, but everyone else in the room is like dead quiet. I do think the best time to talk would be when she goes out during breaks. But if she doesn't like me it will make everything awkward won't it?

I don't usually pick girls up in classes lol and I'm not like a full time student.

 

So its hard because sometimes you find out these community college people live far away or will be going to universities in other states!

 

 

I don't really sit near her because most people sit in the same seats, so the teacher recognizes them. If I moved seats I think people would kinda notice something was up sadly lol

 

I don't know much about the girls personality so I am taking a chance, but that is always the most important thing.. but she just looks kind. I just don't know how I should make a move without surprising her or making it awkward.. she really doesn't talked to anyone only answers questions in class.

[counterman]

Well, you do have that class in common for starters. So, you could use that as an ice-breaker when you first talk to her. Ask her how she found a certain class or a question about the class; anything else you feel comfortable with. As for moving to sit next to her, it does not matter what other people think. She would probably realise you are interested in her but if you take the approach that you just want to have a conversation then it won't overly show that you're interested.

 

I have gone up to a girl and sit next to her before and just talked and it has happened to me before. It has never been awkward for me but it could be. So, if you find it too daunting, then I think just talk to her during those breaks and see how it goes. If she isn't interested and it would be clear by the way she talks to you, then you know to move on. If it gets awkward, break it by saying "I have to call a friend" or "I'm going to head into class early" and move on. Stay relaxed always and pretend that she is a friend already, one that you are getting to know more of.

 

Hope that helps!

[shocker555]

Alright that makes me feel a little better to pursue her. However, I could try to sit a little closer and see if something pursues.

 

Or wait for a break or something too.

 

What would be good for the first thing to say, cause I don't know her name either, because the teacher doesn't call people by names.

 

Should I say hey I've noticed you in class my name is ____, what is yours?

 

and then talk about the class or ask about her major? I don't want to be nerdy asking everything about school though you know

 

What if she has a bf though as I mentioned and I totally get shutdown. I mean she can still talk to me and be all friendly, but I have been surprised by girls in the past who it turns out they do. Also she could be a lot older than me, which is a little weird. cause you can't really tell age, maybe I could ask her. but I don't want to be too personal so maybe not the first time talking

Edited February 26, 2010 by shocker555

[counterman]

You could sit a little closer and, maybe during a break in class, you could a little closer and just talk to her. However, don't expect her to initiate anything with you even if you do sit closer. From what you said about her, I don't think she'll likely approach you first. If she does, then that would be awesome.

 

Something like what you suggested as an introduction would be fine. When you ask her questions, make sure you answer them yourself first. You will be able to gauge her interest by her response. If she offers little and gives you short answers, then she probably isn't interested. Then, if that's the case, you can just move on. If she talks a lot and even asks you questions, then she probably is interested. In any case, after a decent conversation, you could ask for her number and tell her you would love to talk to her again sometime or you could even ask her out for, say, coffee.

 

Basically,you approaching her out of the blue or so to speak will signal interest. She will probably pick up on that. Getting her number and asking her out will definitely show that you're interested. If she says no then maybe she does have a boyfriend or is married or isn't interested but that doesn't matter; it will be the same result for you. If she says yes, then you can take it from there.

 

As for asking for her age, I don't think you should do it. It seems a bit too upfront and, in my opinion, it is irrelevant. What is more important is how the both of you communicate. So, see how it goes. Best of luck!

[shocker555]

You could sit a little closer and, maybe during a break in class, you could a little closer and just talk to her. However, don't expect her to initiate anything with you even if you do sit closer. From what you said about her, I don't think she'll likely approach you first. If she does, then that would be awesome.

 

Something like what you suggested as an introduction would be fine. When you ask her questions, make sure you answer them yourself first. You will be able to gauge her interest by her response. If she offers little and gives you short answers, then she probably isn't interested. Then, if that's the case, you can just move on. If she talks a lot and even asks you questions, then she probably is interested. In any case, after a decent conversation, you could ask for her number and tell her you would love to talk to her again sometime or you could even ask her out for, say, coffee.

 

Basically,you approaching her out of the blue or so to speak will signal interest. She will probably pick up on that. Getting her number and asking her out will definitely show that you're interested. If she says no then maybe she does have a boyfriend or is married or isn't interested but that doesn't matter; it will be the same result for you. If she says yes, then you can take it from there.

 

As for asking for her age, I don't think you should do it. It seems a bit too upfront and, in my opinion, it is irrelevant. What is more important is how the both of you communicate. So, see how it goes. Best of luck!

 

 

Thanks! I am going to pursue it this week I am going in with zero expectations just in case, and will just introduce and casually talk to her.

Then I can determine if she is with someone or just ask her out in weeks to come when the class is closer to be done.

[shocker555]

Update:

 

Alright.. I have good news and bad news.

In class she was there and I did not talk to them. But with reason! Next week I am for sure talking to them the situation just wasn't right. Let me explain..

 

1st) the class during break she was busy the whole time with some stuff. Usually they are not!

 

I saw her look at me when I came back from break.

 

2nd) I usually wear contacts and one eye of my contacts I got a bad batch, so I had to wear glasses (ones I never wear besides in the house really..) now I know looks shouldn't matter. but I would go in with more confidence, and know I look a lot better with contacts.

 

if anyone is wondering I wasn't making excuses, I see an opening to talk with them. And I got this opportunity in class to get a good idea how they are and I definitely thought that they seemed like a nice personality. While I didn't get the results I wanted this class, next class I'm going to talk to them!

 

I think next time I can talk in break or even after class when they are walking out.

I wish I could of today, but I will take a good obersvation and then pursueing next week.

[counterman]

Them? They? Are we talking about more than one girl here?

 

Okay, so next week when you actually approach her, don't get your hopes up! Remember. It's not meant to down your confidence but rather steel it so that you don't crumble if things don't work out the way you want it. I am sure you are fine the way you are, so just stay relaxed and talk.

 

Looks don't matter, but,hey, if wearing contacts means that you feel that you look better and, hence, feel better about yourself, it makes all the difference in the world.

 

I know you talk about getting a result and that result should be just to talk and have a conversation.

 

Best of luck!

[shocker555]

Them? They? Are we talking about more than one girl here?

 

Okay, so next week when you actually approach her, don't get your hopes up! Remember. It's not meant to down your confidence but rather steel it so that you don't crumble if things don't work out the way you want it. I am sure you are fine the way you are, so just stay relaxed and talk.

 

Looks don't matter, but,hey, if wearing contacts means that you feel that you look better and, hence, feel better about yourself, it makes all the difference in the world.

 

I know you talk about getting a result and that result should be just to talk and have a conversation.

 

Best of luck!

 

 

haha sorry I tend to use my pronouns wrong sometime its just one girl. thanks for reassuring advice

[gsly]

If it were me, I would switch seats to sit by her for your next class..it will make her notice you a little better. who care about what everyone else thinks, you're not trying to impress them, or are you lol? it's the little things in life that make girls notice you..I would say move seats, and if she says something then strike up a conversation and try for a phone number