My Mom makes me smoke Marijauna. :(

[stanlovesJ]

So i am a 15 male, and i have had a really shaky mood lately. whenever my mom says something to me , like " you need to get off the computer and do homework" she always says something like , well i dont care if you go stupid its your heard not mine. she always adds something sour to her point , and even though i agree with her most of the time, when she puts me down i get really agravvated. then i feel like my head- just loses all confidence, all my goals, and when she keeps doing its really hard to be happy , even think little things through, and most of all focus on school work.

 

This is where the cannabis comes in. When i fell like this /\ (above) then i start looking for a hookup where i can buy some weed. i know i can avoid it , but when my confidence is almost as low to the ground and my brain processing is hurt.

 

let me try to explain this so ok, when i feel like my confidence is dropping this is what it feels like

i try to think something through like "plan a fun weekend with my pal" then i try to think of what to say to him everything sounds lame - then i try to think of something fun to do(i just cant think)!

 

all post will be appreciated. please only answer the question dont write irevalent things.

[D-Lish]

No one makes you smoke pot- you make that choice.

I see nothing crazy about a mother that encourages you to get off the computer and do some homework.

 

It sounds like you are being a typical lazy teenager.

 

When you get home from school, set an hour aside and finish your homework. Get it out of the way, then you will be free to be on the computer in the evening. It's actually a simple solution.

[knaveman]

No one makes you smoke pot- you make that choice.

 

Agreed. It may sound cold-hearted but it's true. No one make you do anything you don't want to do already, you only need to justify it to yourself. Self control is one of the hardest and most important things to learn in your life, unfortunately too many never learn it.

 

That's why places like this exist, we're here to help in any way we can. That's what friends are for too. Us and them, it's a great support system if you use it.

 

Self confidence is difficult when you're 15. I know, I've been there. I still have confidence issues at 34. I think everyone suffers from lack of confidence at some time or other. Smoking pot doesn't help. You might be surprised just how clear your head can be when you remove all intoxicants and take a moment to relax and stop thinking about so much.

Edited February 26, 2010 by knaveman

[D-Lish]

Agreed. It may sound cold-hearted but it's true. No one make you do anything you don't want to do already, you only need to justify it to yourself. Self control is one of the hardest and most important things to learn in your life, unfortunately too many never learn it.

 

That's why places like this exist, we're here to help in any way we can. That's what friends are for too. Us and them, it's a great support system if you use it.

 

Self confidence is difficult when you're 15. I know, I've been there. I still have confidence issues at 34. I think everyone suffers from lack of confidence at some time or other. Smoking pot doesn't help. You might be surprised just how clear your head can be when you remove all intoxicants and take a moment to relax and stop thinking about so much.

 

And doesn't it also make sense, looking back- to make some very simple compromises in order to avoid the angst?

 

I mean, if you do your homework- you're mom isn't going to nag, and she won't get pissy about you being on the computer in the evening- problem solved.

 

What is happening is that you are choosing NOT to do your homework, but you feel entitled to blame her for being frustrated about that. Dude, you are 15- school is your obligation at the moment. If you don't follow through with that, then you need to get a job. Trust me, highschool is nothing compared to the real world, and your mother knows that.

 

You are living in her house, that she pays for- I assume the computer you are on is paid for by her.... Do your homework- then she'll be happy, and you'll be happy.

[Ross PK]

Post deleted.

Edited February 26, 2010 by Ross PK

[OpenBook]

please only answer the question dont write irevalent things.

 

What was the question?

[sedgwick]

I completely agree with everything D-Lish is saying! She's not MAKING you smoke pot unless she's tying you down and forcing the joint into your mouth and forcing you to inhale!

[Trojan John]

I was thinking, "wow, what a cool mom you have", until I read the post.

 

Stop using your mom as an excuse and start smoking pot properly like the rest of us.

[Ariadne]

Well,

 

What can you do. If the weed helps then I guess that's what you need.

 

Teenagers feel a lot of pressure (to find a job and so on) and need encouragement from parents.

 

When the mother is putting pressure it becomes even harder, and criticism is taken to heart.

 

Hope you are feeling better. Take it easy and hugs.

[Ross PK]

If the example of your mums put down is a bad as it gets then I don't think it's anything to get upset about. As all parents say stuff like that and she wouldn't have ment to hurt you.

 

So I think the problem is mainly to do with your confidence/self esteem.

 

Have you talked to your mum about how it makes you feel when she says things like that? If she cares she'll stop doing it or at least tell you that she didn't mean any harm by what she says.

 

If after talking to her she still carries on doing it and doesn't tell you she doesn't mean any harm, or if what she says is sometimes a lot worse and is actually nasty, then she is also responsible for you smoking weed, not just you. The blame can't be completely shifted from her and all put on you, so take no notice of what others say on here.

[torranceshipman]

Did you know that cannabis is a depressant?-and it is addictive. I understand how frustrating it can be, having your mom tell you what to do and talk down to you, but at the end of the day no-one is responsible for your own health and happiness and success but YOU. In 1 or 5 or 10 yrs time its only you that will be left with the consequences of your decisions, and regularly using drugs is going to mess a lot of things up.

 

Being 15 is pretty hard - people forget that - its a difficult time (I teach teenagers and have done for years and I do get how you feel) but it is TOTALLY a recipe for disaster to just knee jerk react to every bad thing with drugs. I've seen cannabis cause people your age to hallucinate, get depression, get paranoid, get anxiety, get vague...and I am not talking when they are 60, I am talking late teens. People think its a no big deal drug but unless you want to risk mental illness then don't do it! There are other things you can do, like hit the weights, take up boxing or something, go for a run, find a buddy to go hang with....

 

Good luck...

[Ross PK]

Torrance. I'm not trying to pick an argument, but do you really think that if person A purposely makes person B feel like ****, person A is not responsible?

[torranceshipman]

No Ross, not at all - that's not what I said. Sometimes for a young person, living at home can be miserable, parents (etc) can cause them pain day in, day out, and they can't get away, so they need a strategy to cope with it.

 

Getting bitter and resentful isnt going to help - the parents arent going to change. Choosing to feel wronged and then using that as an excuse to do drugs (or whatever) is a bad strategy as it is that kid - noone else - that has to deal with the bad fallout of that at some point.

 

So empowering yourself by saying 'i'm responsible for my own happiness, noone else' means that you take the power from the hands of the parents (or whoever else has the power to hurt you) and you learn, on a day to day basis, that its YOUR treatment of yourself that is important, YOUR view of yourself that is important, no matter what good or bad is going on around you. That way other peoples bad treatment has less power over you, and you have that power yourself. It is an attitude that leads to healthier more self respecting choices.

 

Of course bad people will affect us, as will good people, but my point is, it is OUR life at the end of the day - we choose how we look after ourselves and ultimately the responsibility lies in our own hands as to whether we do things to make ourselves happy, minimize risks to ourselves, respect ourselves and believe in ourselves regardless of the behavior of others, etc. Doesn't matter if our suffering is other peoples fault - doing nothing but sullenly blaming them doesnt help US at the end of the day. But reclaiming the power back to put our own heath, self belief, self respect and so on first, really does.

[stanlovesJ]

yea well last time i really got on my feet i was feeling really happy all the time that was winter break and i think a part of it was because i smoked some pot and that really brought my confidence up. but then i also got into a lot of trouble. like i started stalking my ex , and got into a minor car wreck... so how do i stay positive without using or when i cant use?

[stanlovesJ]

i know what you mean i have a some past weird memories and i think thats either from weed and alcohol... i f you drink alcohol in a small amount like 4 to 8 beers everytime , maybe twice a month, what are the sidfe effects, not like the hangover, but like what can it do to your mood? i m worried about that more than health

[whichwayisup]

Go talk to a professional, a therapist to help you cope with dealing with stuff better. Using pot is only masking the problem. Sure, you get high and feel better, but your problems are still there.

 

Do you have an Aunt or another adult you can trust, someone to talk to or maybe even a guidance counselor at school if you don't want to do some therapy?

 

Remember this next time your mom puts you down.. It's not about you, it's about her. Ever hear of that expression, misery loves company? Well, your mom probably has her own issues and isn't that happy, so it's easier for her to dump on you, say things that upset you. Don't let her bring you down! I know, easier said than done .. Instead of getting upset, laugh about it in your head.

[annxxdisaster]

I was thinking, "wow, what a cool mom you have", until I read the post.

 

Stop using your mom as an excuse and start smoking pot properly like the rest of us.

 

hahaha..

[Meaplus3]

So i am a 15 male, and i have had a really shaky mood lately. whenever my mom says something to me , like " you need to get off the computer and do homework" she always says something like , well i dont care if you go stupid its your heard not mine. she always adds something sour to her point , and even though i agree with her most of the time, when she puts me down i get really agravvated. then i feel like my head- just loses all confidence, all my goals, and when she keeps doing its really hard to be happy , even think little things through, and most of all focus on school work.

 

This is where the cannabis comes in. When i fell like this /\ (above) then i start looking for a hookup where i can buy some weed. i know i can avoid it , but when my confidence is almost as low to the ground and my brain processing is hurt.

 

let me try to explain this so ok, when i feel like my confidence is dropping this is what it feels like

i try to think something through like "plan a fun weekend with my pal" then i try to think of what to say to him everything sounds lame - then i try to think of something fun to do(i just cant think)!

 

all post will be appreciated. please only answer the question dont write irevalent things.

 

 

No, No , No! You have it all wrong here. Your mom does not make you smoke weed.. it's your choice to do that.. and your choice alone. It sounds as if your playing the blame game. Your young and I'm an very sure you have many options in life ahead of you yo pursue.. Healthy ones that do not include pot smoking. Now is the time to kick that habit.. and re-focus your energy on a better healthy way to deal with your stress. You can do it. But you have to want to.

 

Mea:)

[BUENG1]

Torrance. I'm not trying to pick an argument, but do you really think that if person A purposely makes person B feel like ****, person A is not responsible?

 

Responsible for what?

[Ross PK]

Responsible for what?

 

Um, for making him feel like ****.

[torranceshipman]

i know what you mean i have a some past weird memories and i think thats either from weed and alcohol... i f you drink alcohol in a small amount like 4 to 8 beers everytime , maybe twice a month, what are the sidfe effects, not like the hangover, but like what can it do to your mood? i m worried about that more than health

 

8 beers is a lot - it might affect your mood, specifically as a depressant, and also affects your judgement without a doubt. If you have mild anxiety or depression to start with then alcohol is the absolute worst thing you can do aside from smoking. Now if you mix smoking weed with alcohol you are on the road to trouble. Stalking, wrecking a car and being dependent on weed to give you a lift are all really bad signs that the weed is really affecting your mental health. I think you need to have a chat with a youth worker/youth counsellor who understands this stuff - they'd be great to speak to. Tbh I think you're already experiencing mental health issues because of smoking weed and you need to jump on this and sort it out asap.

 

I don't want to see things spiral out of control for you - at the end of the day life will always throw you curveballs and you need to take responsibility for dealing with them in a positive way, as it is your health & happiness that is being gambled here...probably anything stressful feels almost impossible to cope with for you, sometimes, in a way that wouldnt be so stressful for others. You know why?-because thats what weed does to you - makes you nervous, anxious, unable to cope with stress....

 

The stalking, car wreck, etc....thats not you - its the weed - don't let anything control you.

[linwood]

 

If after talking to her she still carries on doing it and doesn't tell you she doesn't mean any harm, or if what she says is sometimes a lot worse and is actually nasty, then she is also responsible for you smoking weed, not just you. The blame can't be completely shifted from her and all put on you, so take no notice of what others say on here.

 

 

This reply is garbage

[minniezz]

Not smart...not smart boy. Go to some other places when your mom starts trashtalking and you will feel better. Weed is not the thing to run into when you feel bad...