Don't know what to do

[LaureninVA]

I really need some advice here. My BF and I have been together for almost 5 months. He’s a great guy and treats me really well. From the beginning, we spent a lot of time together, probably on average 4-5 evenings per week. He told me that he loved me after about a month or so, and I told him back not long after that.

 

Problem is, lately (the past few weeks) I’ve been feeling kind of smothered, wanting to spend less time with him. When we are together I keep finding things that he says or does that irritate me. Lots of times we can’t agree on certain things, like restaurants or movies to watch. We occasionally have small, petty arguments just because we both think we are right in any given situation.

 

In the beginning of the relationship, I wanted sex a lot. He’s more of a one to two times per week kind of person, and I adapted. Now it seems I don’t want it at all, and I’m not sure whether its him, or if its from my birth control (I recently started Depo Provera and it can affect the libido).

 

I’m just so confused because I do care about him, I know he cares about me, and he treats me well. I’m just feeling kind of….bored? I don’t know if I should break it off (is it worth “taking a break” from such a short term relationship?). I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and then there is the selfish part of me that doesn’t want to lose him. Any advice?

[mintjulep]

I don't want to be presumptuous, but here's what I think:

In my experience, when I was feeling smothered and when I grew easily irritated with a boy, the relationship was over. Because I've only had fairly serious relationships, I realize now that I kind of knew it was over about a month or two before I admitted it to myself. I don't know if it would have been easier to just acknowledge the signs when they popped up, but I would try to let the feelings pass because as I said, I was pretty committed to said guys and I just didn't want what we once had to end. In retrospect, I can't say it would have been easier to end the relationships earlier, but since I knew the signs, I can't help but admit that by staying, I was keeping myself in something my heart wasn't really into. (I learned my freshman year in college that life is too short to stay in an unhappy/unhealthy/boring/frustrating/etc relationship)

As far as the sex thing goes:

My pharmacy switched me to a generic birth control pill once, after I had been on Alesse for over a year. The month that I tried the generic pill, I was completely uninterested in sex, and I was crabby, and I retained water. I switched back to Alesse and regained my libido, lost the water weight, and was happier. I didn't actually notice until I had switched back that there was a difference (I had switched back because of better packaging and the smooth coating ) Maybe switching to a different pill - one that suits you better - will help you in the sex area. Then again, maybe it is him...That might be something to consider deeply.

 

I will note that these are specific to me, but I do hope that this helps .