Kanuk Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 My friend is encouraging me to call my ex in light of recent developments. Since my friends and i were recently informed that my ex has 'moved on and is already interted in another guy'. My one friend in particular thinks she's being a huge btch about this becuase she's moved on and is dating again, yet never really broke up with me, and moved on without telling me why she dumped me. erg, now i have ppl telling me not to call and others telling to call just to make her uncomfertable. When i told him i wouldn't cause she doesn't want that, he accused me of 'letting her win' I just want her to be happy, now i'm confused to hell. what do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
InLoKo Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 This is not a competition or a war. There are no winners. If you call her to get back at her for being a bitch....remember, what goes around comes around. Let her go in your heart and wish her well in your head. Move on. Do not call her. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatAngelGirl Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Honestly, what good would it do to call? Let it go and concentrate on yourself. Everyone always says doing well is the best revenge And even if that's not the case, it won't hurt to practice a little extreme self-care. You seem like a decent person, there are many ladies out there looking for a decent guy to waste all your effort on someone who has obviously moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldfingerCymru Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Kanuck, Too close for comfort again. I have a mate in work whom has said similar things about my ex-gf. eg. I was unsure if contact or giving her a Christmas present would upset her. His advice was ' what the hell, she's been a bitch to you. So if she gets annoyed then you've lost nothing and hurt/annoyed her back'. I didn't and haven't followed his advice. I still love and care for her and as much as I want to contact her/ give her the present. I cannot be angry with her, even if she hasn't treated me right with regards to the split. You will be able to hold your head up with pride at a later date and know that you didn't lower yourself to retalliation, which is very easy to do. It is harder to hold back, but do it and keep your pride. Your butty, is only trying to help you and in his way hoping that it would make you feel better. Unfortunately, it won't. If you did do it, you would be back on here within hours with a new thread entitled 'Called my Ex Up and now regret it and feel bad' Regards Alan Link to post Share on other sites
mandrews1119 Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Take Goldfinger's advice!! Do not retaliate, as you will regret it. Follow the bad penny rule. If she is dating, then she thinks she has found a shiny new penny and it is intriguing, it is fascinating, it is new. After a while (maybe a LONG while, so be prepared in your heart, but don't stop living), she will see that all that glitters isn't gold. No Mr. Right Now is going to replace all of the good, all of the fun, all of the love, and yes, all of the hurt that came about in your relationship. Hopefully she will realize and decide that it is worth going through the rough times with you. All couples have issues, problems, and hard times. Hopefully she will realize that she wants to share all these things with the man she really loves - you. Just be ready to be the best you can for her, you, and the relationship when the time comes for you to show her. Best of luck. Remember, the love didn't form in one day, it won't leave that quickly either. It can be rough when women are enacting taking the proverbial pound of flesh out of us, and not talking, not responding, etc., but if you make it through and find each other on the other side - together and in love, I'm sure you will agree it was worth it to reunite and make it better next trip for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kanuk Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 She's nto coming back man, she's moved on, strait from her and her best friend. She found a new guy and wants nothing to do with me. She rolls her eyes at the mention that I still think of her. She's wanted to pick up a guy just to kiss cause i was the last guy she kissed, like a bad taste in her mouth she wanted to get rid of. There is no hope in this for her and me. I'd consider taking her back, i really would, i'd give it at least 1 more shot, but i know there wont be that shot, even years down the road. She thinks of me as simply a pathetic guy she used to date who wont clue in and move on, a problem that if she ignores it, will simply disapear. She's already interested in this new guy, wether she has him or not yet, who knows. She's very attractive, so i don't think she'll have a problem getting anyone. Point is, she didn't even feel the need to tell me why she broke up with me before going on like this. She seems to wonder why i haven't moved on yet either. I wish i would have seen it earlier, i could have been a lot further on my way to recovery by now. And for some damned reason, i still love this women, even with how she's treated me. I'm like an abuse victim or something. It's my forgiving nature i guess. I beleiev everyone screws up and deserves a second chance. If I'm ever to be granted a second chance, or even cimple forgivness, then i have to do the same for others. Kinda like do unot others, then run. Call it an attemp at good karma. If this new gyu ever treats her bad or hurts her, i swear i'll cave his head in. But why do i feel that protective of her? Why do i care. Maybe i have issues that need worked out, maybe it's normal to be protective. can anyone confirm this or not, or am I abnormal after all? Link to post Share on other sites
maxmuscle Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Kanuk, All I know is walk proud and display courage and strength under fire. She has NOT got the best of you. But if you go out with burning flames then she will have got the best of you. Show her a side that she never seen before. A side of emotional stability. You will come out on top in the end. I guarantee it! She will probably want you back one day. That's only if you can learn to move on and not give a plug nickel about her. Why subject to foul play? You are going to continue to burry yourself with regret and guilt and you process to recovery with be delayed significantly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kanuk Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 I just found out that while she never read the letter i sent her, her friend did read it to her. And as I'm told, "she wasn't Impressed" Wether that means she hates me for what i said in it, or it didn't move her one bit, I have no idea. either way, there's a burning sensation in my chest and i'm having troubloe keeping my composure. This gilr will never see me again, she lives 200 km away and when she graduates, she's getting the heck out of her hometown. I'm lost to her in this. She is lost to me, there is no hope, as much as I want there to be hope, there is none. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kanuk Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 There's no more regret, i did all i could to fix this. There is only sadness for my loss, and for her change in opinion of me, and aparrent despising of me. Everythign i touch seems to turn to **** lately, i need to do something to change that. Link to post Share on other sites
maxmuscle Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Kanuk, Use all of her negative energy as motivation. It obvious that she never cared about you. How can anyone with true love or love in general talk negative about you behind your back? Wouldn't you feel hurtful inside or remorse? All of her facial expression when some mentions you, her attitude, neglecting your letters are signs of lack of compassion. Where is the feeling of compassion, lingering love, under-the-skin feelings. Where is it? You know why? Because she doesn't have any. She is seeing the grass is greener on the other side. Her hatred for you has blinded her relationship logic............................ I am sorry to sound so harsh and insensitive but I am telling you as I hear your stories. I don't think she hate you but she doesn't care! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts