Almost worked it out--I can't trust him

[CaliforniaSunshine]

Me and my exboyfriend were 99% through some pretty rough things. We were almost back together--but I had some serious trust issues. He was seeing somone else when we were broke up but then was trying to get back with me at the same time. He was basically telling two women the same thing. Love triangle.

I went to see him this week--we had a pretty good week. Just hung out at his place. Didnt go out and do much due to the weather. However, I still felt as if he was talking to her via text. So---I kept pushing it. He told me he broke it off with her and she was having a hard time accepting it. I finally told him he had to do it in front of me. And he did.

He did alot of things to hurt me in the past--and it really just built up. I had way way way to much to drink and I said some really mean things to him. All night. We got into a huge fight. I was just so angry about some things and it finally all came out. And then I had to leave the next day.

We were so close--everything was going so well. I hardly ever drink--but I finally told him it is her or me. He said he already told her but she wasnt accepting it. I saw all the texts. He was actually telling me the truth. So he called her again and did it infront of me.

So--I am so ashamed how I acted.

How do you get over the hurt when someone lied to you? How do you trust them again?

He said to just give him some time. Just a day or two with no drama. So I will do that.

I bought him a ticket to come see me next weekend--I guess we will see if he uses it. The sad thing is he finally got a job interview where I live. Woke up yesterday morning --day after fight--and heard the message.

If I would of just let things be--we would be together now. But I want it all too fast and want it NOW. I wish I could just relax and calm down.