Is This a Sign Of Trouble????

[Jezz]

Hi everybody, I don't know if I am in the correct forum but alot of the situations shared here are making me think of things I would like to avoid with my b/f.

 

Me and my guy have been together for 3months and I don't think we communicate to well. I try to nudge him to express himself but he seems shy I suppose. So I express myself to make him feel comfortable around me. You know communication is key!

 

Currently there is this stupid issue that is bothering me I know it should'nt but it is and that is his female friend. Uhhgg! He seems really buddy buddy with her, not to a point they would be in a relationship, but I wish he would be open with me like that.

 

I try to be freinds with his friend but she is not very talkative with me. And it seems he does not make it very comfortable for me and his friend when she is around. Honestly I feel a little threatend. I feel like he is going to dump me for this. You know when my friends are around they talk to him and make him feel welcome. She never talks to me just him. I've heard about relationships ending because of their significant other not getting along with their friend.

 

An example of this is he wanted me to go to a bar that his friend suggested so I did to make him happy. But the whole night he was only talking to her and her group of friends I felt left out because I felt so unconfortable I did'nt know what to say. Occasionally he would be like what's wrong you are not much talkative tonight. I smiled and said everything was ok, when deep down it was not!

 

Ok if any one can offer their great advice to me It, would help out alot! I just smell trouble coming my way and want to catch it before it is too late!!!

[Arabess]

I have lots of male friends....but once they have a girlfriend.....I move way out of the relationship to give them a chance to get close without the girl perhaps thinking I'm a threat. If she isn't that good of a friend to him....she is after him herself.

 

Walk cautiously with a big stick.....and don't confide in her. As a matter of fact, avoid talking to her unless other people are present. That way, whatever you say, she can't use against you.

 

I don't know if you should confront him on the issue at this point or not. It all depends on how close you guys are. It's hard to know what to say without feeling like your are being possessive. At the same time.....you've got to figure out a way to hold your ground.

 

Maybe some of the guys on here will have some suggestions.

 

Good Luck!!!!!

[RobertoPNW]

Originally posted by Arabess

Maybe some of the guys on here will have some suggestions.

 

 

Alot of us guys need to be made aware of our shortcomings. Ok, all of us guys need it, hehe.

 

Jezz, gently let him know how you want to be treated. You two are exclusive, you should want more emotional intimacy from him. It might take him a while to fully trust in you, give him a chance to warm up. He might make a mistake or two along the way. You have to decide how much investment you are willing to put into this relationship.

[Nexa]

You know Arabess has a good idea, I too did experience something like you so much it's funny.

 

My ex's b/f had these 2 female friends that he would just talk so comfortably around and he never got comfortable around talking like that with me.

 

So one day we all had a party down my bf house. It was his two female friends and me and a two of my friends. One of my friends he did not like very well so I played wrestled with him for like 30 minutes as a poor attempt to make him jealous because I did not like they way he was acting with his two female friends.

 

 

And guess what? He pulled the biggest NO CONTACT I have ever seen! I practically had to track the guy down to find out why he ignored me for like a week, and his big answer was he did not want anything but "friendship", because he saw me wrestling with that guy!

 

So to cut to the chase just be careful and don't run into anything like that, if you have a problem with his friend or feel threatend talk to him about it. That is all about the open communication thing I think. I wish I would have talked to him about those 2 girls before I tried pulling that stunt, but I guess I will never know.

 

 

Good Luck, let us know what happens.

[Nexa]

oops sorry Jezz did I say I wrestled with that guy for 30 minutes, I ment 30 seconds.

[RobertoPNW]

Originally posted by Nexa

 

So to cut to the chase just be careful and don't run into anything like that, if you have a problem with his friend or feel threatend talk to him about it. That is all about the open communication thing I think. I wish I would have talked to him about those 2 girls before I tried pulling that stunt, but I guess I will never know.

 

 

Good Luck, let us know what happens.

 

I can't stress enough that guys need to know their boundaries, straight up. The good ones will listen and make changes. The bad ones, well, they'll act like children. You don't want that.