indecisive coward

[Dexter Morgan]

why, you want to be "the guy" she has, as you say, "revenge sex" with??

 

no, because she is the one that has been hurt in all of this by him.

 

ppl want to know how the cheater, who brought this on himself, is doing.....and I'd just like to know how the person he hurt is doing. I'd like to know if she has calmed down and what her thought process is at this point.

 

why is it so surprising that someone would want to know how the person effed over is doing??

[stampdaddy]

no, because she is the one that has been hurt in all of this by him.

 

ppl want to know how the cheater, who brought this on himself, is doing.....and I'd just like to know how the person he hurt is doing. I'd like to know if she has calmed down and what her thought process is at this point.

 

why is it so surprising that someone would want to know how the person effed over is doing??

 

Im kidding you dude....

 

I too would like to know how they ALL are doing... I havent been able to wrap my head around the WHY Tbone hasnt been here, I guess because there are too many "could be's"

[Fallen Angel]

Hey, Stamperoo, you've been here longer than I, maybe you can answer a ? for me... How often do threads like this get started and then abandoned?

I'm sure tbone is working on his stuff (I hope anyway), but Internet access is everywhere. Wondering if we should take this personally

 

Perhaps he has decided not to take advice from so many people who seem to think that him being attacked physically is "understandable"?

 

As i was reading through this thread *granted i have not read EVERY post* I was shocked and dismayed to see so many people advocating for the wife's right to physically assault this man. If the situation were reversed and he assaulted his wife after her disclosure of the affair *spurred on by the lovely posters of LS*, people would have been up in arms about it.

 

The double standard here is repulsive to me. It is no more understandable for a woman to physically assault a man, as it is for a man to physically assault a woman. SHAME on all the people with so much "compassion" and what appears to almost be admiration of this perpetrator of domestic violence!

[Fallen Angel]

FA- I've not read it that way. I took it that most who said it was understandable were referring to understanding that the kind of pain the WS has caused was so bad that it drove her to violence. I've not seen anyone say the violence itself was understandable, just the pain that drove her to it. I've not seen anyone post that she was justified, Ive seen just the opposite.

But yes, I do agree with you on the double standard. Had tbone been female and said her H treated her this way, I agree there would probably be more outrage and less understanding.

 

As someone who has been abused, that is how I interpreted the "understanding" comments. As someone who is being abused, perhaps he interpreted them the same way?

[PhoenixRise]

Fallen Angel

 

Nobody condoned his wife physically attacking him. People said they understood how she felt and why she felt the way she did, because Tbone had admittedly been gaslighting her, but I think everybody who posted on the issue of the physical violence condemned it.

 

In fact I know that I as well as some other posters said if this happened again he should call the police and have her arrested.

 

I think Tbone is not posting because his life is probably incredibly chaotic right now dealing with all the fallout. He moved out of the house, so maybe he doesn't have access to a computer. Or maybe he is getting his advice and support in real life through counseling.

[fooled once]

As someone who has been abused, that is how I interpreted the "understanding" comments. As someone who is being abused, perhaps he interpreted them the same way?

 

I was physically abused in my first marriage and I didn't take it at all the way you did.

 

Was it okay that he was mentally and emotionally abusive to his wife all this time? Of course not. Nor it is okay for her to strike out physically.

 

Too bad we can't lock up people who are emotionally and mentally abusive to others, like we do to physical abusers. Many times, the 'scars' from the emotional/mental abuse lasts way longer than the scars of physical abuse (and yes, I do understand that there is more to physical abuse than bruises or broken bones).

[White Flower]

Hey, Stamperoo, you've been here longer than I, maybe you can answer a ? for me... How often do threads like this get started and then abandoned?

I'm sure tbone is working on his stuff (I hope anyway), but Internet access is everywhere. Wondering if we should take this personally

Maybe his W found the thread and was completely humiliated and asked him not to post anymore? Even though it is completely anonymous, some people are not comfortable with their stories out there.

[NoIDidn't]

Maybe his W found the thread and was completely humiliated and asked him not to post anymore? Even though it is completely anonymous, some people are not comfortable with their stories out there.

 

Maybe, if she found the thread she's just "horrified" that he would air their dirty laundry.

[Brokenlady]

Since we're all speculating here....I think he probably picked right back up with the OW and doesn't want to say so because of the beating he'll get. I think he's still treating his W like crap and she's still being abusive. Another day older, exactly the same.

[summerautumn]

wrong thread.

Edited April 30, 2010 by summerautumn

[White Flower]

Since we're all speculating here....I think he probably picked right back up with the OW and doesn't want to say so because of the beating he'll get. I think he's still treating his W like crap and she's still being abusive. Another day older, exactly the same.

Even if that were true he should still come back and get advice for it, and talk it through.

 

Tbone, come back!