dyermaker Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 I love my aunt a lot. She's a little nuerotic, and has had a hard life. One of the things she neglected is the man-hunt, and now she's 43. She hasn't had a relationship in a long time, and the one she had a long time ago was not a healthy one. That's long over, and, without getting into it, will never be rekindled, for sure. Anyway, when she lived in New York, she was introduced to this really nice man. The man was interested in her, and he's very cute/successful/nice. He's a doctor. Anyways, he had to go to California, and for some reason my aunt lost touch. This was years and years ago. In 2000, My aunt met a man on the internet who lived in the UK. She moved to the UK to finally be with him, but oops, his wife was still there. My aunt thought they were divorced, and was allowed to stay and work until she could get the money to come back here. I know she's over him, but not neccessarily over the experience. Now she lives at home with my grandparents, who don't mind her staying--she has a job, pays rent, and keeps the old fellas company. But I know my aunt wants a husband, and I know she feels lonely. She is both "whoa is me" and a silent sufferer. It would be VERY difficult for me to say anything remotely harsh, without her totally rejecting my opinion. She trusts and enjoys talking to me, but I think she knows I bite my lip sometimes. What she wants is, to get a hold of this doctor friend. My friend the internet has tracked down his address, phone number, and enough public records to know he is not married, and never has been. I haven't told her this. She's dating local people again (She lives up north, it's not very cosmopolitan) but she seems to have a streak of bad luck. This one guy she dated is a TOTAL loser. He talked about himself for two hours straight, mentioned that he likes to smoke pot to feel closer to Jesus, commented that my aunt must be desperate because she's so old and on the fringe of not being able to produce children, and played this bizzare game during which no matter what my aunt brought up, he could do better. You get it, he's a dork. She's trying to let him down easy. Anyway, my question is, what do I say to her? I need to say something, because she knows I have objections to her contacting Dr. Friend, it just seems weird--am I right? She's delicate, how do I help her? Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Personally, I do think it would be a bad idea for her to try and contact the Dr. again. Its been several years since they've spoken, and who knows what has happened in his life since? Its very likely that he could currently be seeing someone, and if she found out, she would be extremely disappointed. I can't believe the last guy she went out with. What an a$$. I think she's just having a little bit of bad luck, and should keep dating around until she finds someone fairly normal. Problem is, I have no idea how you're gonna tell her anything like that. She actually reminds me of my mother. She's had many horrible dating experiences, she's to the point where she's just stopped trying. I feel so bad that she's alone, and I try to encourage her to go out and meet people. It seems that I just offend her. I wish you luck in whatever you decide. Sensitive women can be hard to approach. Maybe some other posters will have a few good ideas. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
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