Hopeless12 Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 I'm a 21 year old college student. I still live at home with my parents but will be graduating soon and hopefully moving out. Ever since I was a little girl, My mom has always put it in my head that I should never date someone black. My mom is not racists- she doesn't hate black people but she just feels like a black and a white should not date, have kids, etc. As I have grown older I do not agree with that. I feel if 2 people love each other it shouldn't matter what the race is- they should be together. I have been really good friends with this guy for 5 years. I've always liked him, and he's always liked me but we never really dated. Everytime he would be around with my other friends they would always make comments on how we should just date cuz we act like we're married. He has all of the qualities that I look for in a partner. We're the same religion, Have the same beliefs, He respects me, Treats me extremely well, and he's basically my best friend I can talk to him about anything and everything and we just have this connection. I really could not imagine my life without him. We decided to start dating over the summer and I did not tell my parents we were dating because I knew how my mothers reaction would be. I would tell her I was hanging out with him, and what not, trying to get her comfortable with my being around him. I knew I would eventually have to tell her so one night when I was going out to dinner with him, she asked are you dating him? I just said yes, I let it out. I didn't think it would be so bad since she knew I had been hanging out with him and it didn't seem to bother her. She totally flipped out told me that if I came home engaged she wouldn't attend my wedding, she wouldn't love my children, and I could consider her dead. Ever since then she's been going around the house ignoring me, cook's dinner and doesn't want me to eat it, does everyones laundry but mine, and can never talk to me, only yells or looks at me with disgust. I really don't know what to do. I love my mother with all of my heart and we've always been pretty close, I would hate to lose her, but at the same time I really love my boyfriend and don't feel that I should have to break up with him because of my mother. She has no reason to hate him except for the fact that He's black and I'm white which to me isn't a good excuse. She won't even get to know him or give him a chance, she said he's not welcomed in her house and tells me i'm ruining my life. I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel like i'm going to go insane. Has this happened to anyone else? How do you deal with it? What did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Your mother is a racist. Get out of her house and start living your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
fennel6 Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Your mother is a racist. Get out of her house and start living your own life. I agree. She'll disown you and never acknowledge your children if you marry this guy? That's racism. I'm with linwood, get the heck out of her house and be your own person. If she really loves you, she'll accept your decision eventually, and if not...that speaks volumes about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeless12 Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 Thanks. I have a job and I've already been saving to move out but it's just not enough to be on my own right now I guess i'll have to wait til I graduate and have a 'real' job. Link to post Share on other sites
MarieJaniyaNelson Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 you get out of her house and start living your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
JoslynKaileyBanks Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Thankx a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
RedCherries Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 It's very sad that your mom said all those hurtful things about disowning you and to "consider her dead" if you're with this guy. Wow... you say she isn't racist but she is! My mother is the same way. She doesn't want me to date anyone but my own race. I will NEVER let what my mom thinks get in the way of being with the one I love. I was in a similar situation a long time ago. I was greatly torn over it and was depressed for a long time about it but I never ever considered breaking up with him because of my mom. I stayed with him even though it hurt her (for all the wrong reasons). Sadly, we grew apart and we broke up because we weren't compatible and we weren't in love anymore but I can't ever imagine not being with the one I love because someone else is unhappy with it, even my own mother. You need to do what you need, to be happy. If you let other people's feelings and desires dictate your life, you will never be content. Link to post Share on other sites
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