How do I tell him which ring I want? Proposal ideas? He's REALLY old-fashioned!

[roseshavethornstoo]

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Hi. I'm new to the board; I found it when I was searching for a topic - which happens to be my question(s). My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married in 2005. We're in a long distance relationship but he is supposed to be coming visit this summer and I'm sure he'll propose then. How should I bring it up that I have a particular kind of engagement ring I want. He's not materialistic at all so (if the table was turned) I could give him a CZ and he'd be happy. Not me, I want a nice princess cut. After all, I have to wear it for the rest of my life! Since he is so old-fashioned, how should I bring it up? Also, how should I bring up the actual proposal. I want it to be really romantic and quite frankly, I'm afraid. lol.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

God bless.

[Errol]

You can't tell him how to propose to you! Maybe he has his own ideas of how he wants to do it. Guys think about this stuff too and have their own "fantasies" of how a marriage proposal should be, or how they want to do it. If you want a proposal to be done a certain way -- then you do the proposing.

 

As for the ring - wait until he brings it up, or you bring it up when you propose, and talk about it. If he loves you then he wants you to be happy and that will be his first concern. Guys pretty much know that women grow up thinking about weddings and wedding gowns and wedding & engagement rings and already know what they want. Most guys expect that so they don't bother too much about the ring--they either ask the girl what kind of ring she wants, or if they want it to be a surprise they already know what kind she wants or will ask her mother or her girlfriends about it.

 

If you don't think he knows then drop hints. Leave a magazine picture open on a table or just show him the picture and tell him that is such a beautiful ring and that is what you want someday, yada yada yada.

 

since you two have already been talking about getting married it shouldn't be a big deal to say "lets talk about wedding rings - what kind of ring do want?" and take it from there.

[jenny]

and please please reassure him that the state of your marriage will be as important to you as a (potentially) impoverishing ring!

[roseshavethornstoo]

Thanks for the responses. I wasn't going to dictate how he should propose just letting him know that I want something romantic and heartfelt...Trust me, he knows how I feel about him. He knows that this is huge for me. We're both old-fashioned and believe in marriage until "death do us part" so he has no question about my sincerity. I'm just worried about offending him by bringing up the fact that I have particular ideas regarding the ring I want. I don't want him getting the notion that I don't trust his taste; and hurting his feelings.