stanlovesJ Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 (scroll down to last paragraph if this is too long) im a guy. Well im in high school right now (10th grade), but when i was in middle school i had a huge crush on this one girl. i would always tell her she was pretty and i would look her in the eyes and it was such a turn on! she even gave me hugs and stuff when she had a boyfriend because i guess she thought i was sweet. When 9th grade came around i connected with her, and even though i never really knew what to say i would always walk with her in the halls and just smile at her, and i could nt keep a straight face! it was such a great feeling. Then we started talking more. we got closer My home life was horrible because my parents and i didnt understand each other, we would name-call and sometimes my dad would get physical with me and i was really numb most of the time. Then smoking and alcohol came in the picture. i would not use much , but when i came buzzed to shcool i was extremely turned on by this girl, and i guess i kind of embarressed her sometimes,(grabbing her butt in front of people,doing sexual stuff in the bathrooms) but she still liked me. Then my stupid self decided we would not connect fully( religous views, different culture , activities) and i could not cope with my emotions, being down all the time,so drugs tried to balance that and i guess that was the blockade between us. During winter break, i had no school. i would stay up late everyday 4 hrs of sleep,drink coffee energy drinks. then i smoked some cannabis on the 25th (10sac=2 oz.). i got into a car wreck the 28th and then i was kind of traumatized and starting messaging her, blaming her for problems that i had when i (used) blaming her for issues i had and trouble i got into 9th grade. Most of the letters were stuff like "i love you" , "your so pretty" "remember this and that", then later i would call her a slut, -"because my life is messed up , and you can help me" how do i write her an apology letter for sending her messages talking about how i want her so bad,how we had so much fun, how she only cares about sex, People, my mental state was wack! i was on weed, and not sleeping, and most of these messages i sent about 3 hours after my car wreck how bad i want to see her. i look back and dont remember why i wrote what i did, i feel embaressed, so guilty, i would not write this if i was in a normal mental mind! Link to post Share on other sites
skyhs0168 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 There millions of girls out there! why do you get attached on that one girl??? You got to meet others girls and forget that one. Start new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Disintegration Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Drugs make people do stupid things that they wouldn't normally do. You really need to get help so you aren't dependant on numbing the pain in your personal life, which can only lead to self destructing or causing pain to those who care about you. You can apologize to her but you aren't necessarily meant to be with her. She may not want to be with you after the things you told her either. Just learn from your mistakes and try to move on from them. You are so young and have so much to look forward to in life, don't throw it all away. There are so many opportunities out there. Just enjoy your high school years without additional stress. I don't think you need to be in a relationship right now, just focus on yourself. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts