A weight loss challenge FOR YOU!

[Lauriebell82]

I went to a wedding once where it's well known that a bride used to be alocholic and part of AA. We completely understood if there is no wine or alcohol served in the wedding.

 

It ended up they still served alcohol, just the bride & groom drank apple cider for their toast and stayed with non alcoholic beverage all night long.

 

This is a tough one though as it's not easy to be surrounded by drinks and people drinking in a party. I would put some non alcoholic beverage as part of the entrees and maybe have a wet bar on the side for pre-dinner and post-dinner conversation (alongside coffee + pastries for the ones who don't drink).

 

Yeah, this would be a good way of handling the situation.

 

I usually tell my alcoholic clients to politely decline a drink and ask if they have soda or something else. Usually parties aren't limited to JUST alcohol. The toughest thing for them is being around people who are drinking but I always advise them that it takes practice. The more you say no and don't give in, the easier it gets.

 

That's why I do politely decline food that I know I have the potential to binge on. There are certain foods that I just don't eat at all. (like cheesecake and poptarts) If I am at a party sometimes I will have a very tiny piece of cake and try to get some fruit that is there or something healthy as a "buffer food" so that when I'm done with the cake I have something to counteract the urge to eat more of it. It's like being an alcoholic or a drug addict. I have to work hard to control it.

 

I don't want to offend or piss anyone off, but I also don't want to start binging again and I work my butt off not to.

[sb129]

Ya, that was me...

 

The few people that I'm close with, are intellectually above and beyond the level of kicking up a fuss because my preference of food is different to theirs.

 

Oh gee, thanks.

Insulting my intelligence is really nice.

 

 

I would like to add an observation I made : When people refuse food on diet grounds - they sometimes get angry responses (see some examples here) from those making or serving the food, however - when people refuse food on religious grounds - nobody EVER says anything back.... Just food for thought !x

 

My "angry response" is a result of bending over backwards and spending a fair amount of $ to accommodate someones dietary requirements and getting no thanks in return.

 

Maybe you don't do that much entertaining at home or appreciate how annoying that can be?

 

Next time, she can bring her own food, because I most certainly will not be busting a gut to cater for her.

 

I don't care how "intellectual" she is, she was down and out rude.

 

If it was a good friend and they were nice and polite and appreciative of my efforts, or if they specifically called me and let me know that they couldn't eat X,Y,Z I would ALWAYS accommodate their wishes.

 

As we agreed- communication is key.

[Lauriebell82]

My "angry response" is a result of bending over backwards and spending a fair amount of $ to accommodate someones dietary requirements and getting no thanks in return.

 

Maybe you don't do that much entertaining at home or appreciate how annoying that can be?

 

Next time, she can bring her own food, because I most certainly will not be busting a gut to cater for her.

 

I don't care how "intellectual" she is, she was down and out rude.

 

If it was a good friend and they were nice and polite and appreciative of my efforts, or if they specifically called me and let me know that they couldn't eat X,Y,Z I would ALWAYS accommodate their wishes.

 

As we agreed- communication is key.

 

I don't think it's fair that she didn't say thank you. I agree with you there. It was nice of you to try to accomodate her diet. My soon to be MIL does that for me and it's very sweet. I always tell her how much I appreciate it!

[GrayClouds]

Sometimes a carrot is not about a carrot.

 

Much of this conversation is about attitudes about food then diets itself. Anything brought to extremes suggest something less then healthy. No person will "gain" weight if they have one less then healthy meal, or more then healthy amount occasionally. And if your making up lies about allergies about what you can not eat or avoiding social occasion to keep your diet "clean" then someone is giving way to much power to food.

 

Giving something the level of power in which it distort reality or significantly effecting behavior highly suggest there is other issues that need to be addressed.

 

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said "Everything in moderation, even moderation"

Edited May 19, 2010 by GrayClouds

[sb129]

Giving something the level of power in which it distort reality or significantly effecting behavior highly suggest there is other issues that need to be addressed.

 

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said "Everything in moderation, even moderation"

 

 

Nicely said GrayClouds. I love that quote!

[Neutrino]

Oh gee, thanks.

Insulting my intelligence is really nice.

 

 

 

 

My "angry response" is a result of bending over backwards and spending a fair amount of $ to accommodate someones dietary requirements and getting no thanks in return.

 

Maybe you don't do that much entertaining at home or appreciate how annoying that can be?

 

Next time, she can bring her own food, because I most certainly will not be busting a gut to cater for her.

 

I don't care how "intellectual" she is, she was down and out rude.

 

If it was a good friend and they were nice and polite and appreciative of my efforts, or if they specifically called me and let me know that they couldn't eat X,Y,Z I would ALWAYS accommodate their wishes.

 

As we agreed- communication is key.

 

I did not mean any insult - I don't now you - so I could not possibly pass judgement. I hate when other people tell me "You don't have to go to the gym - you're not fat..." or "Here, have some of this potato mash, you're not diabetic yet"...

 

I find it unacceptable. Funny those are mostly people who are out of shape and overweight - like in some way they hold it against me that I'm fit and healthy - it is not my fault they stuff their faces out of control...

 

Anyway - I understand your complaint about your sister in-law... She should have discussed everything with you in advance - this is what I always do.

 

The same way I will not let other impose their will on me - I make sure I also don't impose on them - I explain everything in advance - and you know what ? I have not had any problems with anyone so far....

[sb129]

I did not mean any insult - I don't now you - so I could not possibly pass judgement. I hate when other people tell me "You don't have to go to the gym - you're not fat..." or "Here, have some of this potato mash, you're not diabetic yet"...

 

I find it unacceptable. Funny those are mostly people who are out of shape and overweight - like in some way they hold it against me that I'm fit and healthy - it is not my fault they stuff their faces out of control.

 

I am fit and healthy too- I am losing pregnancy weight right now.. I took advantage of being pregnant and indulged every craving. It was nice while it lasted but the novelty definitely wore off, I couldn't do it forever!

And I regret it a little now... but am nearly back into my pre preg jeans, so all is good.

 

I would never say to someone, "oh look at you you're so skinny here have a piece of pie"... I don't even make pie!

 

I think we are talking about things from a different perspective.

 

I can appreciate what you are saying- its the same as me not wanting to eat the cakes that the fat ladies bring in to work.

If someone said to me "you don't need to go to the gym"- well theres a few reasons why I go, not just for weight loss, and its none of their beeswax.

 

Inviting someone to your home for a meal and having them flat out refuse to eat your food, or for them to pick holes in your cooking is slightly different. I wouldn't ever load someones plate and insist they eat seconds!

[DadofTwoGirls]

The best way to lose weight (and it might have already been mentioned here) is to have your spouse tell you they are unhappy and they are leaving:o...I lost 10 lbs 10 and I wasn't overweight to begin with..now 2 mos later I've gone from 200 to 179 and am 5'11"..of course I took up jogging and I do push ups in the handstand position which has really toned me up,add sit ups,lots of water and stopped the 2 in the morn cookies and milk because it's so easy when married to fall into bad eating habits.JMO:D

[Neutrino]

I am fit and healthy too- I am losing pregnancy weight right now.. I took advantage of being pregnant and indulged every craving. It was nice while it lasted but the novelty definitely wore off, I couldn't do it forever!

And I regret it a little now... but am nearly back into my pre preg jeans, so all is good.

 

I would never say to someone, "oh look at you you're so skinny here have a piece of pie"... I don't even make pie!

 

I think we are talking about things from a different perspective.

 

I can appreciate what you are saying- its the same as me not wanting to eat the cakes that the fat ladies bring in to work.

If someone said to me "you don't need to go to the gym"- well theres a few reasons why I go, not just for weight loss, and its none of their beeswax.

 

Inviting someone to your home for a meal and having them flat out refuse to eat your food, or for them to pick holes in your cooking is slightly different. I wouldn't ever load someones plate and insist they eat seconds!

 

First of all - continue to do well on your post-pregnancy weight-management, it is not easy - but hard work and discipline will get you anywhere

 

I never criticise what other people make or eat - my thought behind it is that they have the same right to make their food choices as I do. I would, however, when severe health matters are concerned have a private conversation with someone when it is necessary, and I only do it once. Dinner at home with friends I normally refuse (more of the fear I would have to reciprocate...) I tell them openly I'd rather meet for social activities that do not include food. I ALWAYS explain in advance though.

 

Let me give you an example : My mom was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back, she since made drastic changes to her life-style in general (and my dad got caught up in it too - because both are retired now), so now - although her body can not make a sufficient amount of insulin, she keeps her complex-carb intake so well balanced her blood sugar values even fall within the normal range.

 

My BF's dad has also been a diabetic for the past 15 years (he's the exact same age as my mom), yet his wife continues to cook (they follow a more old-fashioned life style than my parents so she is the only one doing the cooking) and feed him potatoes, meat pan-fried in butter, ice-cream for desert, and cookies with his tea, both of them claim out loud that diabetes is determined by genetic factors only and whatever you do will not make a difference, so "might as well enjoy life", his condition is deteriorating fast - but resistance to any change erodes much slower...

 

I have to say flat out that I find this idiotic !! I see how my BF is seriously upset watching his dad dig his own grave and if for nothing else - I'm MAD at the father for this... How the hell can you prefer stuffing yourself with food that literally kills you, to spending a few more years with your son ? On the other hand, if eating potatoes is the only fun you have to look forwards to - I can understand your life is not very important to you....

 

I'm sorry - it makes me angry just to type it. It is the BF's parents that when we have dinner with I bring my own bowl, and even if they don't like it - I couldn't care less.

[sb129]

Well I can certainly understand your viewpoint on that. Putting your health in jeopardy and ignoring medical advice is just stupid.

 

My dad was a diabetic and while he tried to follow the diet properly, his heart was never really in it, and he didn't ever really educate himself that well on it. His doctor kept saying "oh just take your pills (the doctor was a moron) and don't gain too much weight, and you'll be fine".

 

He wasn't fine. He got an extremely aggressive form of cancer and thanks to the diabetic damage to his blood vessels he pretty much haemorrhaged to death within three months of being diagnoses.

 

I can't help but wonder if he had actually paid attention to his diet and not "cheated" so often whether he would still be here today.

 

I actually think we have similar attitudes to healthy food Neutrino- I indulge now and then but its not in junk or high fat crap.

 

And most of my friends are also into eating fresh, delicious healthy food rather than getting takeout or whatever.

[Neutrino]

I'm sorry for my previous angry post, I guess it sheds some more light on matters. When I see the emotional distress this causes my BF I go crazy with anger...

[sb129]

Me too.

 

Part of my anger also comes from the fact that I used to cook my Dad really healthy, delicious meals in an attempt to get him to branch out and explore healthier eating options.

 

On several occasions he flatly refused to eat what I had made because he "didn't like it". (he didn't even TRY it)

I was SOOOOO mad at the time, it was so hurtful and rude, especially because I was trying to be helpful. We even had a huge fight about it.

 

And now the silly bugger is dead and when he was dying he told me I should have tried harder to get him to change! WTF! As if he would have listened!!!!

 

So yeah, its hit a few raw nerves here as well.

[Neutrino]

Me too.

 

Part of my anger also comes from the fact that I used to cook my Dad really healthy, delicious meals in an attempt to get him to branch out and explore healthier eating options.

 

On several occasions he flatly refused to eat what I had made because he "didn't like it". (he didn't even TRY it)

I was SOOOOO mad at the time, it was so hurtful and rude, especially because I was trying to be helpful. We even had a huge fight about it.

 

And now the silly bugger is dead and when he was dying he told me I should have tried harder to get him to change! WTF! As if he would have listened!!!!

 

So yeah, its hit a few raw nerves here as well.

 

He said YOU should have tried harder ?!? That's rich.

 

Now I also understand better your anger with criticism on HEALTHY food that someone made especially...

 

I live in north-west Europe and the vast majority of people are overweight to some degree, about 20% are really obese. I'm disgusted to watch people even on the streets when I drive into town, eating garbage just for fun - without even being hungry, when I go to the supermarket I see the mountains of unhealthy (and expensive) snacks some people buy, then in addition that ill mentality of mainly a mother eating all the leftovers off all the plates when dinner is over....

 

Living in this environment (my parents live very far away so they are not here to "balance out") made me resent seeing food as a hobby and a source of pleasure, you eat when you are hungry to nourish your body as best you can - generally keep your body in the best state possible... It is the only one you get - no spare parts.

 

This philosophy caused me to misunderstand your anger at people that refused food because it was "so delicious" (at that stage the healthy factor was not yet known to me).

 

[hotgurl]

bleck I gained 1 lb this week. I know what I did.

 

I was stressed and ate my stress. But this week is a new week.

[Lauriebell82]

bleck I gained 1 lb this week. I know what I did.

 

I was stressed and ate my stress. But this week is a new week.

 

 

That's okay, keep at it!!! You are doing great so far!!!

 

A tip for dealing with stress..do something to distract yourself. Watch tv or talk or the phone to someone. Just go outside for a walk or go to the mall. Eating doesn't make you feel better in the long run!

[allina]

Does anyone bribe themselves or make deals with themselves when it comes to fitness? It's something I do, it's good motivation. For example, I ate really well today, dinner will be good too, but it's Friday and I want a drink or two. Since I don't want to undo all the healthy decisions I made, I told myself that if I burn off at least 500 calories on the treadmill I can have 2 beers or 2 generous glasses of wine

 

It's a silly system that works pretty well for me. It basically lets me have what I want, but I have to earn it.

[Rorschach]

Does anyone bribe themselves or make deals with themselves when it comes to fitness? It's something I do, it's good motivation. For example, I ate really well today, dinner will be good too, but it's Friday and I want a drink or two. Since I don't want to undo all the healthy decisions I made, I told myself that if I burn off at least 500 calories on the treadmill I can have 2 beers or 2 generous glasses of wine

 

It's a silly system that works pretty well for me. It basically lets me have what I want, but I have to earn it.

 

I do the same thing on a grander scale. Right now I have to be very good on my diet/workout for the next 2 weeks and if I do and lose a good amount of weight when my brother is home from the air force I'll be a little more lax so I can eat at the welcome home party and the following week where he's home without guilt.

[sb129]

Does anyone bribe themselves or make deals with themselves when it comes to fitness? It's something I do, it's good motivation. For example, I ate really well today, dinner will be good too, but it's Friday and I want a drink or two. Since I don't want to undo all the healthy decisions I made, I told myself that if I burn off at least 500 calories on the treadmill I can have 2 beers or 2 generous glasses of wine

 

It's a silly system that works pretty well for me. It basically lets me have what I want, but I have to earn it.

 

 

Absolutely! Thats part of weightwatchers as well.

You can earn bonus points through doing exercise, so the harder you work, the more bonus points you earn. Today I walked the dog and went to the gym for an hour so I can have a couple of drinks tonight.

 

You can also save up points during the week, so if you are really good for a couple of days, you can spend your extra points and indulge without feeling guilty (as long as you stay within the points guide of course!)

[Neutrino]

Does anyone bribe themselves or make deals with themselves when it comes to fitness? It's something I do, it's good motivation. For example, I ate really well today, dinner will be good too, but it's Friday and I want a drink or two. Since I don't want to undo all the healthy decisions I made, I told myself that if I burn off at least 500 calories on the treadmill I can have 2 beers or 2 generous glasses of wine

 

It's a silly system that works pretty well for me. It basically lets me have what I want, but I have to earn it.

 

Avoid the beer - but enjoy the wine (especially red wine).

[allina]

Avoid the beer - but enjoy the wine (especially red wine).

 

Nah, I like beer and choose to not completely avoid it.

[sb129]

I had a low carb beer last night and it was 1.5 ww points- a standard glass of red wine (185mL ha ha most of mine a just a teeny bit bigger than that!) is 2pts.

The beer tasted great.

[just_some_guy]

Got on the scale to a new low this morning. Spent forever going back and forth over the same 3 lbs. Today, got on the scale, it was like a christmas present, the lowest I've seen in a long time.

 

The workouts are really improving things too. Muscles are getting bigger, solid, more toned and defined.

[Lauriebell82]

Got on the scale to a new low this morning. Spent forever going back and forth over the same 3 lbs. Today, got on the scale, it was like a christmas present, the lowest I've seen in a long time.

 

The workouts are really improving things too. Muscles are getting bigger, solid, more toned and defined.

 

Congrats!!!

 

I wish I could see the scale go way down like that, I am having the same issue you are. I keep going back and forth 3 pounds, I don't get it. I don't have any problem losing weight, I have a problem staying at that weight. I'm not sure why. I know I'm not fat, even if I don't lose any weight from the way I am now, I STILL wouldn't be overweight.

 

I do want to get rid of some of the access fat though, like in my legs and a little in my stomach. I found a way to lose weight from the treadmill, running incline hills. So I basically just have to watch my diet. The hard part will be to maintain that weight..I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

[hotgurl]

How is everyone doing this week?

 

I've stayed the same, But considering I was out of twon for 3 days and ate out all meals I think that was ok.

[just_some_guy]

My weight loss is continuing a slow, decline in the right direction.

 

I continue to exercise, to not diet, to change habits by changing my emotional health and it is working better than anything ever has for me.

 

Worked out last night and it was the third or fourth time in a row that I've seen a new low number on the scale. I weigh frequently, but I understand that the statistical basis of the data is very "noisy" but it is the long-term trend that actually counts. That trend is steady and slow, but declining.

 

Also, my muscles and strength and stamina and cardio fitness are steadily improving. I can lift more weight, I can work out at much higher resistance levels on the cardio machines at the same heart rates, I can do more sit ups and crunches. I fit in smaller clothes.

 

And I'm not on a diet, just trying to make conscience decisions about my habits and choices of when and what to eat. Less junk, less grazing, smaller portions.

 

I had a big steak last night, along with a couple of glasses of wine. It was good and I was breaking in a new grill for myself. Only meant to eat half of it, but heck, it was really good and I finished it. Of course, I was really hungry after the work out too.

 

Today is a new day, not going to worry about things like that, as long as they are exceptions. If my weight creeps up a bit over the next few days, I'm not going to worry, I'm just going to keep exercising, keep making conscience choices, keep working on my emotional health and it will go the right way.