sleepysue Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 My ex and I went out for 4 years, broke up mutually, and he started dating someone 3 months later … someone his parents introduced him to. He lives in another city 4 hours away. The whole 7 months and even later he cared deeply for me … would say things like she (now his wife) wasn't as good as me in bed, he missed me, how I made him who he is today etc. I assumed his relationship with her was just superficial at that point. I decided I loved him a lot and wanted to get back together. So I wrote him a long letter and asking if he felt the same way blah blah. A mutual acquaintance secretly told me after I had given the letter that he's engaged. Prior to this we hooked up and slept together (meaning he cheated). When we finally met up and he told me he wanted to move on I was devastated. I asked if he was engaged which he denied, but said his parents wanted them to get married soon. I was emotional so I know telling the truth was hard for him because he didn’t want to hurt me. I asked if he loved her and he said ‘I don’t want to say’ and I told him I needed to know to move on and so he nodded his head. I asked him how he could cheat on his fiancée if he was in love with her and all he said was ‘its you.’ Fast forward a month later, his wife writes to me accusing me of homewrecking because she found a postcard/letter I wrote him and that he was actually married seven months ago and to stay away from him. I don’t’ know who’s lying anymore. He says he wants to be friends and I don’t want to out him by writing to her and telling her I didn’t even know they were engaged and that he cheated. They definitely rushed into their marriage and right now my reputation is on the fence. I need to heal. I want to stay friends, probably not now but I don’t want to shut that door for the future. At the same time I want to bitch back at this girl who is looking for a scapegoat. I hate women who just easily accuse the woman and don’t put any blame on the men. I need to move on but I want to deal with this. He’s avoiding my calls but responds to my emails. I know he’s being a coward b/c he’s afraid of losing my friendship and being found out. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 What do I do? Re-read your OP carefully and discover the very healthy reasons why you will not contact this loser ever again Link to post Share on other sites
Nicole11 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Do NOT respond at all to her! Say nothing, you owe her nothing. Trust me, less is more always. He cheated on her, she knows. It sounds like they won't last, as far as the future? Once he's free, you may feel differently about him. But please do not respond. That is their problem and not yours. You did not know, but the last thing you want to do is get involved. Ignore it. Good luck to you. And your reputation? Hold your head up. Do not discuss it with anyone! Keep it to yourself. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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