subtitled Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 I've found that a lot of guys don't realise they're being confusing, and when you confront them about things, will be astounded that you would read so much into their behaviour. Why is this? is it purely a difference between the genders? anyway, i have a specific case i'm currently in the midst of... i have liked this guy for over half a year now. I've posted about him before, he works in the cd store i used to walk through to get to school everyday. He used to give me cds and we'd chat a bit. I'm now finished school, but in my last weeks of school he gave me his number. I called him up a few times, he was out. He eventually returned my call, there have been some confused signals like his strange behaviour when i've said hi to him at work and he's acted completely indifferent towards me, yet in phone messages puts lots of emotion in through smiley faces and punctuation.. anyway, the most recent thing is that before i went away on schoolies (holiday/party when you graduate), he messaged me at 1am in the morning saying hey how are you etc, we should go to a gig together, when are you 18? etc... it was a pretty flirty convo through mobile phone messages... anyway, i was in the middle of courting another person, so i tried not to be to responsive. He asked me to call him when i got back. I didn't call him when i got back as the person i had been courting had asked me out. Then, one night i got a message from the other guy (cd guy) letting me know about a music journalism course i might be interested in. I said i would call him that week, that i'd been quite busy etc and was he going to see THe Strokes? and he said yeh, we should go together and yeh to give him a call when im free. So i called, i dropped in "my boyfriend" once just to let him know without directly saying - i have a boyfriend. Soon after, he started talkinga bout his ex girlfriend and how she's his best friend but he sometimes thinks it's a bit complicated etc. i totally didnt expect him to discuss this with me! some of my friends thought he might've felt intimidated by me talkinga bout my boyfriend. ANYWAY... i said - we should do something sometime... and he said yeh, weekends are good for me. this was about 4 weeks ago. I've now broken up with my boyfriend. Last thursday i messaged the cd guy and said - hey what are you up this weekend, want to do something? he replied only on monday! so 4 days later saying "hey dude sorry about the delayed message! but we should do something soon? maybe this week one night? let me know what day is cool for you cos i'm pretty easy :)" so i replied "yeh whenever, i'm free all week. Give me a call sometime [home phone number]and we'll organise something! Talk to you soon!" it's now friday and i haven't heard from him...which is really disappointing. this is the first time he's ever had my home phone number. i've called him at home though.. also i'm not sure if he owns a mobile, because when we first exchanged numbers he said he didnt have one, but then he's messaged me since and i've been on the phone with him when his mobile has rang.. it could be his mum's but i dontknow.. something might explain the delay of his reply to my initial invite. Basically - do i call him up or message him and say "hey its friday and we still havent done anything! its ok if you dont want to, but if you do, get in touch."? or do i leave it? and what to think of the signals? on a side note: he's going overseas this year, in feb/march i think.. so there would be no chance of a long term relationship, but i dont want to lose contact with hiim. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Leave it. Guys who are really interested in you do not send confusing signals. They send you one clear signal: I want to be with you, I want to talk to you, I want to spend time with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted January 9, 2004 Author Share Posted January 9, 2004 even if they're still under the impression i have a boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 wow, this is so off topic: but you have killer taste in music i'd say go for it. clia's right if the bloke is a long-term possibility, but this guy sounds more like a lovely fling or at least a good interesting friend, with similar killer taste in music. if you want to slip it in, go for something like : 'i haven't listened to insert band/gone to a gig/whatever since breaking up'. and then let it drop completely. then have a great deal of soundtracked fun Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted January 9, 2004 Author Share Posted January 9, 2004 thankyou! i write for an australian music webzine http://www.ozmusicproject.net and i'm into australian music mostly, but recently i've been really digging some o/s stuff.. like Death Cab for Cutie, The Shins and The Thrills.. i'm a big Pavement fan, Radiohead, Led Zeppelin, The Who.. The Beatles of course anyway, well mm... i think i'll wait until saturday to do my "dude! it's saturday and we haven't done anything!" message.. thanks for the replies Link to post Share on other sites
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