Sam_I_Am Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Mishy , I tried to respond to this 2 days ago but my puter was buggy and I had to get some things done to it... Mish : his brain is not like your brain. His brain is filled with how hard his ___ is and how to get relief. There are only a few choices of relief. His hand or a woman. If there is no woman available he will use his hand. But there you are and so he is sexxing you because you are available. There are some men who are romantics and like falling in love and courting and worshipping the women. He makes love to her and he holds her afterward. They make plans together. They enjoy being together. He makes a choice of some kind of committment. There you have a real relationship. Alot of women are biologically programmed to feel love and attachment after they sleep with / have sex with a man. Because our brains are A and their brains are B , we don't quite think the same. A man can have sex with someone and NOT love them. He can lie or promise things to get the end result : sex. Thats the reality. My best piece of advice : STOP being available when he calls. Try and make a life outside of him. The reason you might be pining by the phone is because you are not looking OUTSIDE of the BOX. If you have few friends or family members , JOIN SOMETHING. ANYTHING ! Do you like to hike ? Swim ? Do crafts ? You have the internet ? You are on here so obviously you do. Go to Google and find things you ENJOY.. RUN after those things for now. One day you won't need it as much as you need to get out of the house ...NOW. Tips : Dont answer when he calls. Change your phone number. Don't answer his emails Get off his Facebook or whatever sites.. ONCE you wean yourself from him you will feel STRONG ! Do it for your own sanity....Stop the hurting... Mish , this happened to me. I know you can do this ! This is such good advice..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 This is such good advice..... Thank you. In my case it was live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam_I_Am Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Thank you. In my case it was live and learn. I am actually trying to apply this advice to my own situation, although mine isn't near what mishy's is. Link to post Share on other sites
LynnM28 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Wow...is it too much to reiterate what everyone else has said? If you are not happy with the way you are being treated, I hope you put a stop to it and find a wonderful man to treat you the way you want to be treated...there are lots of amazing men out there! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Mishy, any update? I really hope that you see him for who he is and realize he isn't worth this much hassel. Link to post Share on other sites
tiffy123 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Poor Mishy, you obviously have feelings for this a-hole! But dear, if he keeps coming back-- whether it’s lust or love, whatever you feel for him is reciprocated. Otherwise, he’s a freaking robot. Here's another perspective, persistence pays off, my friend. It's not always about meaningless pillow talk, but rather about being there long enough that he eventually sees you. But if you feel that you’ve been there for the longest time and nothing is getting into him--- back off! Dating other guys will always help. There are a lot of singles out there who’d appreciate your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Mishy , I tried to respond to this 2 days ago but my puter was buggy and I had to get some things done to it... Mish : his brain is not like your brain. His brain is filled with how hard his ___ is and how to get relief. There are only a few choices of relief. His hand or a woman. If there is no woman available he will use his hand. But there you are and so he is sexxing you because you are available. There are some men who are romantics and like falling in love and courting and worshipping the women. He makes love to her and he holds her afterward. They make plans together. They enjoy being together. He makes a choice of some kind of committment. There you have a real relationship. Alot of women are biologically programmed to feel love and attachment after they sleep with / have sex with a man. Because our brains are A and their brains are B , we don't quite think the same. A man can have sex with someone and NOT love them. He can lie or promise things to get the end result : sex. Thats the reality. My best piece of advice : STOP being available when he calls. Try and make a life outside of him. The reason you might be pining by the phone is because you are not looking OUTSIDE of the BOX. If you have few friends or family members , JOIN SOMETHING. ANYTHING ! Do you like to hike ? Swim ? Do crafts ? You have the internet ? You are on here so obviously you do. Go to Google and find things you ENJOY.. RUN after those things for now. One day you won't need it as much as you need to get out of the house ...NOW. Tips : Dont answer when he calls. Change your phone number. Don't answer his emails Get off his Facebook or whatever sites.. ONCE you wean yourself from him you will feel STRONG ! Do it for your own sanity....Stop the hurting... Mish , this happened to me. I know you can do this ! thanks Mary, i understand all this, the weaning is hard. I have been in contact with him through email (havent seen him for about 3 weeks) Anyway, last year I chatted to this guy on a dating site for a couple of months. We met twice, but really there was no chemistry, even though we had a lot in common. Anyway, so he went a bit weird and we stopped contact, then anyway a week or so ago he readded me to messenger and i emailed him to see what was going on with him. Anyway last ight i get this email from him , and heres part of it: I had an odd chance crossing of paths with a girl on (dating site) who was pretty much the female version of me, same music taste/food/dress/values...everything, and we've been inseperable ever since. We're flying to NY and Seoul for NYE and doing lots of fun stuff. Talked about marriage within a month (just for the fun of it...gotta try everything once) so might do that soon. renovating house now...new kitchen/deck repaint etc. Ok so oddly enough even though this email is from another guy, this is the email that has finally convinced me to stop seeing this guy (in my thread). I mean this email was a bit "ouch" for a few seconds, but i started thinking, my god, i have a no strings thing with someone for two and a half years, theres no reason that HE wont be sending me an email like this tomorrow next week, next month. And HOW ON EARTH will i cope with that ???? So despite the fact that he is a dickhead, there are feelings there, and honestly, this is one email that i do not want to be getting. So this is my wake up call. what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 me and the guy in this thread have been emailing every day for the past 3 weeks. But now... im going to have to stop. I CANNOT get an email like this. He still wont go out anywhere with me, whats the point. He will notice ive gone, as we have been emailing everyday since we last saw each other. Flirty stuff, work stuff etc But i have been through so much, i cannot get an email like this from him, it will be too much for me to bear. And it scares me that it could so easily happen, as he doesnt owe me anything Link to post Share on other sites
123BeachFan Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 he even said that a chinese girl had taken him to this particular chinese place a year ago and that really stung Wow, I bet that stung! That means, in the timeframe he's been bedding you, not only has he shown his face in public and dined at restaurants, but he went on dates to do so. Of course, the way you say it here, it sounds like the Chinese girl treated him to the date. This guy is treating you like gum on his shoe. Oh please dump him, please! Link to post Share on other sites
123BeachFan Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Hi Mishy. About your other online buddy's email: I had an odd chance crossing of paths with a girl on (dating site) who was pretty much the female version of me, same music taste/food/dress/values...everything, and we've been inseperable ever since. We're flying to NY and Seoul for NYE and doing lots of fun stuff. Talked about marriage within a month (just for the fun of it...gotta try everything once) so might do that soon. renovating house now...new kitchen/deck repaint etc. Wow, talks about marrying within one month of meeting this gal? And because you gotta try everything once? Well, this guy is leaping into committment (while your 2 year FB apparently is allergic to commitments of any sort). Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 You've lost another month of your life with this guy mishy. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a shining example of why some women become so neurotic that they have to follow a set of rules they read on Cosmo to be able to interact with men. Tough love, but you need to find your self respect and dignity. Muster an ounce of strength to move on and make a life for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Well * personally * the second guy ( whom you felt was just a friend ) is rushing wayyyyyyyy too fast ! Sure they are so incredibly happy and in limerance but they don't know eachother well enough that takes MONTHS and MONTHS to break through the facades and honeymoonish behavior. You are absolutely correct when you say " I dread getting the goodbye letter " ( from Mr Casanova ) Actually Mishy he is using you UNTIL he finds THE ONE he WILL settle down with. And I promise you that HURTS when he finally does it . Its not if , its WHEN. I would write him a goodbye letter yourself. Tell him you had fun but you both aren't in the same place , You know ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Wow, I bet that stung! That means, in the timeframe he's been bedding you, not only has he shown his face in public and dined at restaurants, but he went on dates to do so. Of course, the way you say it here, it sounds like the Chinese girl treated him to the date. This guy is treating you like gum on his shoe. Oh please dump him, please! yep, ouch, it was ouch Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Hi Mishy. About your other online buddy's email: Wow, talks about marrying within one month of meeting this gal? And because you gotta try everything once? Well, this guy is leaping into committment (while your 2 year FB apparently is allergic to commitments of any sort). oh yeah , i really think that guy is headed for a fall. I did get to know him a bit and he is kind of a bit...... The type to get attached fast, and then have a dreadful break up. And it did hit me how he knew this girl was the one, and meanwhile im stuffing around with MR PLAYA for over 2 frickin years Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Well * personally * the second guy ( whom you felt was just a friend ) is rushing wayyyyyyyy too fast ! Sure they are so incredibly happy and in limerance but they don't know eachother well enough that takes MONTHS and MONTHS to break through the facades and honeymoonish behavior. You are absolutely correct when you say " I dread getting the goodbye letter " ( from Mr Casanova ) Actually Mishy he is using you UNTIL he finds THE ONE he WILL settle down with. And I promise you that HURTS when he finally does it . Its not if , its WHEN. I would write him a goodbye letter yourself. Tell him you had fun but you both aren't in the same place , You know ? it is, not IF but WHEN for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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