Bleed Internal Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I heard this today. I suspect and really hope it's not true, but I can understand the logic behind it. The person said that "until you fall in love again, the ex who you still love remains the most important romantic figure in your life," even if you're not talking to them. It's ironic because that line came from a girl I'm rebounding with while we were laying in bed after sex. Her theory is partially true considering that I've had sex with several beautiful, awesome women since breaking up with my ex last summer, but I'm definitely not over her yet. I'd just like to think I can get over her before I fall in love again, because who knows how long that will take. Falling in love again will prove extremely helpful when the time comes, but I'm not trying to be hung up on my ex until then. Despite her cheating ways, we've continued having sex regularly since the break-up in July until a few days ago. I've tried and failed at NC several times, never making it more than a week or two (often a few days) without hooking up wit her again. After the millionth massive fight and a revelation that she's still a huge liar (who claims she wants to "work things out") earlier this week, I'm determined to go NC and stick to it. I love her and I love sex with her, but this relationship is toxic for both of us. She called me late last night and it feels good to know she's still thinking about me. That has traditionally been enough for me to relapse on her, but I'm determined to maintain NC, let my heart heal, and get over this girl who has hurt me more than anything I've ever experienced. I feel like strict NC, sex and fun with new girls, career and financial success, and a good exercise regimen should help me legitimately get over her, to the point where thoughts of her cheating on me with some other guy in his car hardly phases me anymore. When I'm having a hard time with NC, I just envision how awesome things will be months, even years down the line, when I'm in a new city, working my dream job, dealing with exciting new women (maybe even find love), and how she hopefully won't even cross my mind. What do you guys think? I'm clearly taking the right steps towards getting past this, but will that be enough? Is falling in love again the ultimate cure for heartbreak? Link to post Share on other sites
ItsAllGoodAgain Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I believe this to be true. After the ex and I called it off for good, for a while I couldn't even think of falling for another girl. As time past and I realized that her and I were not good for each other and never would be, the thought of her began to fade. I still miss the feeling of love but not her. I believe that once I find love again that the thought of her will be completely erased from my mind. I don't miss her, I don't want her but I do miss love and I do want love. This can only be achieved by eliminating her completely. NC is the way to go. No more conversations or sex. Let it be. If you know this is what you want for yourself then I suggest you go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Eisenhower Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I believe it's true too. Until you are taken with someone else, and they consume your time, attention and passion, everything reminds you of what you DON'T have. For instance, anything cool that happens to you, or a great story you need to tell, you're reminded that you don't have that special someone to share it with and that's sad. Once you have a new love, you're thoughts are then filled with her/him and you have that person to share your life with. There's excitement again, not longing. I wish I was there, but I'm still in the "can't imagine being attracted to anyone else stage." Can't wait for it to pass though. Eisenhower Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Another +1 for truth. Link to post Share on other sites
thepulse27 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I'm gonna say no. I've got no idea how this one is gonna end, but I've been here before, and it didn't take new love. It did, however, take a new life. When I moved to a new city, and started a completely new part of my life (I was starting university in a new city) it just disappeared. It wasn't gradual at all, I just realised one day that I hadn't thought of her for days, and now that I was thinking about her, I didn't care at all. I think falling in love again is one of the many ways our life can change enough in a positive way for us to leave the pain behind. Link to post Share on other sites
adamt Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 In a lot of cases there is a gap to fill. You feel lonely,empty and bit lost. Feel something is missing. Perhaps the intimacy and waking up next to someone. I know once i fall for someone else the ex will be forgotten, until then she will be on my mind. ofcourse there are exceptions Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I disagree. Time alone, rediscovering you, respecting and loving yourself. That is the way out. Link to post Share on other sites
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