We've Met....Now WHAT??

[Got Asprin?]

I am a 31 yr. old female, who recently had a 30 yr. year old male from my area answer my personal ad via the internet. We slowly started talking by e-mail, exchanged pictures, and then started talking on the phone either everyday or every other day, and genuinely enjoyed talking to one another and becoming better friends, or so I thought. Generally, he has been the one to call me, that is up until we met this past Friday night for the first time at a nice local restuarant. The evening went well, we talked, laughed, and enjoyed ourselves I thought we went for a walk afterward in a nice shopping center area afterward, and continued to talk more. He was a complete gentleman, and I didn't expect this to be a "date" type meeting but this man is much like myself college educated, financially stable, caring, kind, and yet much more well off than he had led me to believe. I really genuinely like him as a person and a friend from what I know so far, and would like to continue getting to know him.

 

My dilema is this, when we parted we hugged, but there was no mention of getting together soon. I waited until I returned from a business trip to contact him the next wed., and he was a bit under the weather but seemed very glad to hear from me we talked as well as we usually have. But, I haven't heard from him daily, or every other day as I did before and I can usually "read" a person enough to know whether this is meant to be just a friendship or possibly more. I can't with him, he is much more than I had expected and his pictures by far did not do him justice. He is the very type of man that I can see myself in a relationship with, yet I want to get to know him better first.Yet, I have no idea if he is interested in being friends, or anything else at this point as we havent talked since Wed. and there has been no e-mail sent from him. I haven't called or sent an e-mail either, as I dont want to make him think I am pressuring him. O.k. so any advice anyone has on this, please let me know. I haven't been in this type of a situation, in a very long time and am not sure how to proceed or not to proceed. I've changed alot from my photo, and for the better on the inside and the outside. So, not sure what to think.

 

Sincerely Yours ~

 

Got Aspirin?

[Randy]

Let him make the next move. You are right in not calling him or Emailing him.

 

I have no earthly idea why but so often both men and women are attracted to members of the opposite sex who are aloof, distant at bit, mildly caring, or simply a challenge. If you, for instance, had not called him it would probably be driving him nuts right now.

 

While the Internet has brought many people together successfully, it has caused nightmares as well. People who come to know each other via the Internet and telephone conjure up many ideas about a person's physical and personality traits in their minds long before they meet them in person. You may be one of the rare cases in which the person exceeded your expectations after having an actual photograph. That is awesome. While he exceeded your expectations, his idea of a beautiful woman may be a Minnie Pearl type. Love is a lot of chemistry and doesn't always have to do with beauty, personality, or whatever. One person can feel chemistry while the other one doesn't. That doesn't mean the sparks can't fly later on. But we live in a society that demands instant everything, including romance. You may have gotten your "instant" while he did not. Who knows?

 

At any rate, you are best served by staying cool and continuing to form new friendships. While I think the Internet is a great place for many things, I don't think it will ever be a substitute for meeting people at work, school, in the mall or, best of all, being introduced by mutual friends.

 

You have done what you need to do in this particular situation and it is now out of your hands. Back off and do your own thing. The minute you write this dude off in your mind and go forward, you will hear from him. Don't ask me why but it happens that way practically every time.